ALFRED BUCKLAND.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1592, 16 September 1882, Page 4

ALFRED BUCKLAND.

Thk Rector (to Irish Plasterer) : •That mortar must have been very bad. Fat (with a grin) : 'Faix, ye cann't expict the loikes o" good Roman cimint to stick to a Protestant church, sorr !" In Paii&, tlic old paving stones, cut again, are sold to piivate persons ; the old iron fiom the crinolines encircling thetieuson the boulevards, old lamp post and broken lamps, cast- iron pipes, &c, ate all sold to tiadesnien, and large sums of money are gained from that source. The grass growing on the reservoirs of the town at Montronzc, Belle\illc, Menilmontant, and on the ground of the manufactory of St. Maur have been sold to some cattle dealers for 10,000 francs. Tiih ship Lord Downahire is said to be the largest sailing ship ever constructed. She was built by Messrs H-irland and Wolff, Belfast, is constructed of steel, is 290 ft long anil capable of carrying 3600 tons dead weight. She has four masts. Her owners are Thomas Dickson and Sons, Belfast. The home of working girls in London, called Garfield houw, at the recent formal opening of which Minister Lowell presided, contains thirty-nine bed-rooms, a dinning-rooin, a sitting-room a libtary, and each occupant will pay for her accommodation from sixty-five cents to one dollar a \v eck. Tin: Opunoiie make* a few am usnig accounts of public expenditure in Italy. It seems that over £.10 was charged for ice to cool "drinks" for the clerks in the War Office, and £6 for ' 'toilette requisites and cosmetics" for the Ministry of Grace and Justice. The sum of £1S was paid for a sapphitc ring presented to a clerk by the Minister of Public Works and the same clerk received also a present of £30 in money. TjikTk\mi > 's Dkvick. — An ingenious tiamp, thinking with anew invention to wring tears and money-assistance from the stoniest heaits, gave it an experimental trial in a northern suburb. Ho has decided not to patent the invention. He told a lady of his unfoitunate condition, and asked if he might eat some of the grass in the front garden. The lady, not less amused than surprised, said ' Certainly,' He went out, and getting down on all fours, commenced on the grass after the j neglected .and never-popular fashion of Nebuchadnezzar, and apparently not enjoying the diet any moie than that ancient sinner of olden time. Presently the tramp's anxious eye caught sight of the servant girl beaooming to him form the side gate. He thought a rich rewaidfor Ins humility was in store, and instantly responded. ' Did you bockon to mo ?' said he. ' Yes.' ' What did you want ?' He now wore a look of most hopeful expectancy. 'You may go into the back g.udcn if you like ; the gia s is tallei theie.' MuviNf: Mvi'tkin Savk.— A crustylooking old gentleman, accompanied by a plump con^oil and a couple of wellLuouiod daughteis, enteied the diningiooin of fi New Yoik hotel, and, as lie tucked his napkin beneath his generous chin, tinned louud and fixed a fierce glance upon the ■waiter behind his chair. ' Look here, my man,' said the old party shaiply, ' bofote I give my order I want to ask you a question. Are you an Italian count in disguise?' ' Soira a bit,' replied the surpiised coffee-splasher. ' Nor an English nobleman, the unaccountable delay of whose remittances has temopiauly compelled, &c.' ' Naw, sir.' ' Nor a graduate of Harvard, and estranged from your father, a rich Boston banker, whose haughty pride is as unyielding as yoiu own, &c.' 'Oi am not.' ' All light ; hole's a dollar, and you can bring in the grub. Now that I know you arc not the regular thing in waitcis nowadays— that you arc not going to run oft" with one of my daughters, or pick my pocket— l can cat in peace.' Tin-, Bi;iT Love.— Home love is the best love. The love that you are bom to is the sw eetest that you will ever have on eaith. You, who arc so anxious to escape fiom the homo nest, pause a momtont and remember that this is so. It is right that the hour should come when you in your turn should become a wife and a mother, and give the best love to others ; but that will be just it. Nobody— not a lover, not a husband — will ever be so tender and so true as your mother and father. Never again, after sti angers have broken the beautiful bond, will theic be anything so sweet as the little circle of mother, father, and children, whore you were cherished, protected, praised, and kept from harm. You may not know it now, but you will know it some day. Whomsoevei you marry, true and good though he may be, w ill, after the lover days arc over, and the honeymoon has waned, give you only a\ hat you deserve of love or sympathy — and usually much less — never more. You must watch and be wavy lest you lose that love which came in through the eyes because the one who looked thought you beautiful. But those who bore you, who loved you when you wero that dreadful little object, a small baby, and thonght you exq'uistely beautiful and wonderfully brilliant, they do not care for faces that are fairer and* forms that are more graceful than yours. You are their very own, and so better to them always than others. The right place to furnish your house from is where you can see a great variety of stales, and at "prices to .suit you. Ladies and gentlemen just starting- housekeeping 1 should procure one of Garlick and Cran\vcll|s book catalogues, it contains a lot of information, 'enabling them to form a pretty correct estimate of the cost of furnishing and suggesting. the articles necessary for each room. At tho Gity Hall Arcade you can see tlje greatest variety of iron bedsteads in Auckland. Bedding kept ready for delivery, as also all kinds of bedroom furniture, drawing and dining-room suites, carpets, floor clothb, and kitchen requisites', ' Houses furnished throughout at a short notice, and cask buyers are 1 allowed 5 per' cent discount. The largest cabinet factory in the . prqvyicfe Las just been built by Garlick a,nd Cramvqll in'lJqrncstreet/thcir show rooms run'Tfrom Quccn.Strcci; to ' Lbrno-strcct, Auckland. {C&talo|jues|s<s«t, post free to intending; jjurcbasqrs^GoVdl 'are * 4 carefully'packed for the' 6oUritry.",Eoffii%litur« fco t6 QAKIJCK AM) CftANWBLt. • r'l ri