Sketcher. THE DIFFERENCE OF A DOT.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1583, 26 August 1882, Page 2 (Supplement)

Sketcher. THE DIFFERENCE OF A DOT.

DhCT.Miiui and May, in the persons of Mr Josiah Blend and Miss Barbara Paul, 1 were united some half-dozen years ago in tho holy bonds of matrimony. People who knew them both were much amazed at the alliance ; for the refined and ladylike Mibs Paul— had she waited— might have had " something" younger and handsomer than the venerable, ancient, \ and many- wrinkled Josiah. Being a successful Glasgow merchant, the aged Josiah was rich ; and naturally their acquaintances concluded that his money was the chief attraction. Perhaps it was. It is not for us to impute motives either good or bad ; but there were not lacking prophets enough, even ia the small circle of their personal friends, who ventured to foretell a short, sharp, and decisive marriage campaign, in which the young wife would punish the old mat), and finally come out of the coflict, uuder the shelter of a " judicial separation," with spoils sufficient to maintain her in a competency for the remainder of her natural life. They proved false prophets. Whether money was at the bottom of it or not, tho pair lived as happily and as lovingly as any two lovers could hope to do. This •was so till a certain year, when two different circumstances conspired to bring matters to such a crisis, that the judicial separation seemed inevitable! Josiah was on the whole an inoffensive old fellow ; but when his usually sluggish temper was once quickened into action, he was prone to let it carry him to such an extreme length that no could defend him. Barbara was patient to a fault, and tended him with a toying and faithful devotion admirable in one so young. The two unhappy causes which threatened for the time being to end their married life, were very disssmilar in themselves, though in the end they got somewhat mixed up. They were— Barbara's cousin, Charlie' Robinsbn, and a telegram, . . ♦ ' " Barbara,?' said the antique Josiah one morning at the breakfast-table," I wish that cousin of yours;-r- t( DeaU Charlie," as you call -him — would not dome hero eo> often and monopolise so mucK 1 o/' your time." •''-„-, •_'; v -, '" „ .." Ido not think he.does,, <ta>e t «pjffiueh of jnaj. Time r ,?r>jrejsppnAedf his. ;wjfe, ; ? jn( a mildly surprised" tone,* <l;Bu|./i; dp not

see very well how I could prevent him coining, unless I chut the door in his face." " You might do worse !" prowled Josiah ; <( a great deal worse. I hate him, with hie pretentions, his stuck-up airs, his general humbug. Why I heard him call you his • dear babs' last night when he wanted you to smg with Mm !" •' You are not jealous ?" laughed Birbara reproachfully ; " burely not. That is the name he cniled me by when we were cdildrGn. But I'll tell him you dislike it, and no doubt he'll desist." " You would do better to tell him not to come at all, as his company is not wanted. I overheard him say last night to that empty-headed chum of his, that I was an old fossil ! Worse still, he said : " That old fogey Blend has a pile of cash ; but he is a miserable old skin-flint, and ! won't part with it." That was gratitude for you, after finishing a couple of bottles of my old Burgundy and smoking half-a-dozen of my finest cigars. He is an impudent scamp." " There surely must be some mistake," urged his wife. " Charlie would never pay that." "He did, though," retoited Josiah angrily : " I'm quite certain. Better tell him never to come heve again." " I would rather not, if it please you," reasonably replied his wife ; it would be very unnatural for me to do so." " You consider it more natural that I should bo abused in my own houc-e !" fried Josiah, now at a white-heat. "Am I to understand you positively refuse to do so ?" •'Well, I do not refuse," replied Baibarn, with considerable tact, going over and kissing him affectionately on the cheek — " Ido not absolutely refuse ; but I most respectfully decline !" Josiah was forced to smile at his wife's equivocation, and resolved to do the thing | himself. He did it neatly too. He wiote ' to Charlie, saying, that in future it would be esteemed a favour if at any time he intended calling, he would " send intimation of his intention before hand, to prevent disappointment." Charlio took the hint, and did not call again. I A few months af ter this, Josiah caught a slight cold, and got otherwise out of sorts, so that the doctor ordered him to go down the Clyde, for change of air. It so fell out that Barbara's mother took seriously ill at the s>ime time ; and, as Barbara was an only daughter, she had to remain at her mother's bedside, and permit her husband to go away alone, of course on the understanding that when her mother got better, she would at once ha&ten to her goodman. Josiah went to a ceitaiu town on the coast which we shall call L , and engaged rooms with his old friend Mrs Meikle. During the first week, he did not improve, though Mrs Meiklo was very attentive. Several letters passed between man and wife, so that Barbara was advised as to his condition, and not a little anxious about him ; but her mother was 6till dangerously ill. Next week, her mother rallied, but Josiah got worhe. At last he had a severe billious attack, and was confined to bed, so that the presence of his wife was imperatively necessary. He instructed Mrs. Meikle to telegraph for her; and this was the telegram which was delivered to his wife : "Mrs MMKLh, L , To Mrs Blkm), Woodburn House, Glasgow — Your husband is dead. Come down at once." Oreat consternation was the result. On the previous day, Mrs Blend had received a piteous note from Jo&iah, saying he was " very ill," and stating that ho had been ' vomiting frequently,' and that his head was ' splitting ;' so that she never questioned the accuracy of the telegram. Neither did her father, nor her cousin Charlie, who was sent for in the emeigency. She was fearfully shocked at the unexpected intelligence, and rendered well-nigh helpless ; while the two men sagely shook their heads, and attempted to console her witli some reflections on the liability of old age to sudden death, which were well meant, but unfortunately ineffective. Charlio undertook — as of course he was expected to do — all the arrangements in connection with the funeral. He wont to tho cemetery that afternoon, ami ordered the grave to be opened in three days ; he put the usual notices in the papers issued the cu&tomary blackbordered announcements ; went to the undertaker's and ordered a handsome coffin to be taken down to L , by the first train in the morning ; and, indeed, did everything necessary with his usual business-like promptitude and despatch. Then he went to the Telegraph Office and forwarded this message :

"Chatiixs Romxsox, Woodburn House, Glasgow, ToMks Meikf.k, L . — Telegram received. Mrs Blend very much grieved. Will be down by first train to-morrow, Do best you can till then." Mrs Meikle read the message to Josiah, who smiled sweetly at his wife's loving concern and Avifely anxiety. It was very good of her to be "much grieved," and to ask Mis Meikle to do all she could for him. Mis Meikle noticed his pleased expression, and jocularly observed that he seemed to be getting better even with the thought of her coming down, and had no doubt that a sight of her would do him more good than all the medicine he had taken. In the morning, he felt so well that he got up ; but his happy anticipations of his wife's ai rival did not last long. Lifting the telegram, which Mrs Meikle had left lying on the table, he read it, and was horrified to discover— what Mrs Meikle had failed to read on the previous I evening— that the message, was not from his wife but from the hated Charlie Robinsou. The demon of jealousy took possesion of his old soul, and dread suspicion set him on the rack of mental torture. "Charlie Robinson at Woodburn House !" exclaimed he to himself. "Has he actually been there all the time I have been away ? I believe her mothers illness has been merely a blind ; and yet the telegram says she is grieved ''very much grieved." Ay, ay, that must be because she has to come away from his delightful society. They will have had a fine time of it, calling one another "Dear Charlie" and ' ' Dear Babs. " Well this is the last straw and no mistake. I'll make both of them suffer, or my name's not Josiah." I These and similar thoughts occupied the convalescent merchant fully till the arrival of the train. The same morning, Mrs Blend and Charlie took their places in the train. Mrs Blend had spent a sleepless night, and had been regretting over and over again that she had not been permitted to see her husband in his last illness. She was dressed in deep mourning ; her heart was very sad, aud her mind was filled with "thoughts too deep for words." Her cousin, the merry and talkative Charlie, had tied a crape band upon hia arm, and he too was sympathetically silent. The two undertaker's men aud the coffin were also in the train. "Charlie thought, and rightly too^that however welladapted'the West Coast mightbe for" supplying thenecessavieB'oflife,,a' coffin of a* suitable size and material -was' not a thing that could be obtained thereon,' the, 'shortest >n6tice.. 'That was his reason ?f or taking bne^dowh* with* him, in , order ito: '- bring the body up totpjrn. ; ; . „4^ \(^ - l! The four persons formed, aimelancholyy prqeession-to -'thef house ipfifcMrs'j^ieikleJ BacKatta learned ihpv|ly|om%arlißMrm^ - < while;genu^ebt^raxo^? ( ?^s^^h»^S^ft?!

tlie two followed discreetly at a distance, with coffin on their shoulders. Mrs Meikle opened the door, and grasped both of them by the hand warmly, observing that it " was a fine day ;" but neither of them could reciprocate her greeting, and therefore sadly and silently shook hands. Without another word, Mrs Meikle showed them upstairs, and they summoned all the courage at their command to enter the gloomy chamber of death. Charlie quietly and gently pushed the door open, and ushered in his cousin. She entered, and lifted her eyes to the bed ; but it was vacant. Then she looked wildly about the room, and— there was her worthy husband in the flesh and in life, standing at the window in his dressing-gown, grimly looking down on the coffin which the two men had upon their shoulders at the gate below. With a fiercely angry glare he turned upon his wife. Her wido\v's J weeds and coffin &howed there was some monstrously strange thing afoot. He was about to speak, when his wife uttered a piercing scream, and sank fainting to the floor. The two men, heedless of the fallen Barbara stared at each other for a moment ; Josiah' with mingled hate, contempt, and jealousy ; Chailie, with open-mouthed wonder and astonishment, Josiah's busy brain rapidly found a possible explantion. " They intended thought he, " in my weak and nervous condition, to kill by the shock of viewing my own coffin, and the preparations they have made for my funeral. ' But he felt strong and able to outwit them. " What is the meaning of all tin's ?" exclaimed the irate Josiah to the thunderstruck Charlie. " Who is the coffin for ? Eh?" " It's alia mistake" began Charlie, in a conciliatory tone. "Alia mistake, is it?" 1 oared the infuriated old man, on whom contending 1 passions and tumultuous thoughts were beginning to tell. " All a mistake, is it?" repeated he, attempting to get within striking distance of Charlie. " I should rather think it was a mistake that I am j alive and — and — kicking." Charlie dodged round the tal )le, to escape the Worn's which the fierce Josiah aimed at him -with his foot. "Itis a mistake," cried Charlie once more, across the table. " The message" "Confound you and the message!" yelled the aged one, continuing the chase. •' Nothing would please you better than to see me in my grave. Get out of the room, you confounded whelp !" Charlie Rot cool, as Jonah's fuiy in01 eased. He wan struck with the ridiculousness of ruiming and dodging each other round the table ; and then, when ho thought of the coffin at the door, he could uo longer suppress a fit of uncontrollable laughter, " Hear me a moment," gasped Charlie— with tears of laughter coursing down his cheekH — " one moment, Mr Blend, and I'll explain. It's really very ludicrous ! That cofiiu down below makes me " You would bury me alive, would you, and laugh m my face, you vilp scamp!" roared Josiah, picking up a carpet footstool and hurling it at Charlie's head, while the latter duoked, as the swirling footstool with projectile foice swept the dressing table clear of its ornaments. ''Out of my sight!" screamed Josiah, now fairly demented. Tho young man still hesitated, hoping to explain ; but Josiah seized the poker, and would have used it as a projectile, had not Charlie, still convul&cd, fled precipitately downstairs and out of the front door. When he got there, he requested tho two men to carry the coffin back to the station ; and afterwards adjourned with them to the only hotel in the place, to explain, and laugh immoderately at this most amusing misunderstanding. Meanwhile, Josiah helped Mrs Meikle to put his unconscious wife to bed. Thereafter, he hurriedly donned his apparel, threw on his ovorcoat, and rushed off do svn-stairs. " Where are you going?" inquired Mis Meikle, who hud sent for a doctor. " Going ? I'm going to my lawyer in Glasgow to get a divorco, I'll not stand wicks like these," cried Josiah, as he angrily flung himself out and violently slammed the door after him. At tho station, he gut a Herald, Avhero he read : "On the 21&t instant, suddenly, at L , in the sixtieth year of his age, Mr Josiah Blend, much regretted." "Much regretted! ni'hm," muttered the old man snoeringly. "A month or two would havo sepn the cousins married. Oh, I see it all, I see it all !" When he arrived in town, as he was crossing the streets on his way home, he met his old friend Mr Maxton. " Dear me, is that you, Josiah ? You are advertised as dead in to-day's papers." "Gel out of my way, you old fool!"' replied tho reckless one, his temper in no degree improved by his journey up to town. So saying he tore along the street, leaving Mr Maxton gazing after him in speechless amazement. When he arrived at his house, the servant who opened the door nearly jumped out of skin with fright ; but Josiah pushed past her and inarched into the parlour, where a few male and female friends were assembled, presumably for the purpose of condoling with the widow upon her expected return to Glasgow. They received Josiah at first in silent astonishment ; bnt immediately afterwards with a hearty cheer, which was the first thing to make him think an error had been made, and that there was no intention to kill him wifch fear. The shaking of hands and the subsequent explanations tended to cool down his wrath ; and as the fever of excitement left him, he began to feel his weakness and physical prostration returning, and ultimately was compelled to accept the situation with the best grace possible under the circumstances. When'the telegram was shown to him, he went to the postmaster to demand an explanation, an apology, and compensaj tion for loss and damage. "Look here!" said he, "I was bad with a bilious attack, and got my landlady to send this telegram : " Your husband is bail ; come down at once.'' One of your operators made it dead, and thereby caused a most frightful misunderstanding. I think you will admit," said Josiah, with studied severity of tone, " there is a very great difference between being bad and dead ?" ! " Yes ; there is a great difference, certainly," replied the postmaster; "and I'm glad the mistake is not the other way —for if you had beea dead, instead of bad, I would not have been favoured with this visit." Oosiah had not looked at the error in that light ; but not wanting to acknowledge the' postmaster's urbanity too readily, he replied : " That's nil very well ; but it does not explain one of the most stupid blunders I ever heard of. The clerk should be horsewhipped." , " I am exceedingly sorry the mistake has been made ; but if you will hear me a moment I'll explain. The difference, 'between 'ba/l'^and ''dead' is not voW great in the telegraph alphabet; " it'is* altogether what 'is 'technically called' « spacing,' ( According, to' tj^e "dot, and' to the , dot land 'da r sh system of telegraphy 1 ty*Wi)M ''bail' iWnus' r written. arid? spaced: '■>"•' -■" ''-"'- .«-,.' " X->'-? v - ,\ -v '* **' „ > .1') i ;'<"-■ -i-AK,c thejwqrdj'.aead?;,^ ,,;-, r^ t Art A r ty r i*pkty t \ -<„ jSodfxix 'ifit^'iftt^ >fciwy?«i'¥ x^ffw^'

_„, t _ _.. bad. and — .. . .—. — — .. dead, you will observe there is, after all, only the difference of a dot. lam glad, how-, ever, that the dot has turned out to be in your favour." " I am very much obliged to you for your lucid explanation," said Josiah. " I pray you, however, to call the clerk's attention to the matter. Had I known it might have been an unconscious error, instead of a grossly careless one, I would ceitainlynot ha^e troubled you. Good afternoou !" With this explanation Johiah was pacified and pleased. He restored Mrs Blend, on her return from the West Coast, to her former position as queen of his heart ; but though ho regrets his hasty violence, he has not yet quite conquered his aversion to Charlie Robinspn. — Chamber's Journal.