DE GONENESS OB DE PAST.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1580, 19 August 1882, Page 6

DE GONENESS OB DE PAST.

"My dear fren's, whar' am de past? Look fur it under de bed, down cellor, up stars, in de wood-box or whar' ' you will, ah' you cannot find it. Why ? , Kause it am gone. ' It' haa slipped away like a streak o' grease runnin across de kitchen floo', an' it willlnebber, nebber return. (Signs from all' over the hall.) Dp you meet Plato as' you go up the street ? ' *Do you r fin*' Cicercb^'waitin'- at* the ferry doclc? Do youh'ar 1 of Di6gene3 r hangin' 'round 'de Union Depot to' work the string game on, some greenhorn ? Not any I l Dey belongs to" de 1 past 5 , an' goW Dey Bleep' y in the dimness' of odder centuries. What' am the glory of de Roman Empire?' 3iVhar' s ( s ani Caesar an' Brfitus an' :CasBi«s'? '''Xet dd i'clast , of de^ past answer. 1 '(Much'ljlo'wing of nosesf) ' l ' , " pasfc- antf not the fuchefj any more 4 dan ( day^after tb-mbrr.er'am day b§fo\Teste¥day>'Ast; timeVfade's 5 so'dofes , flory^f Sa^O^f^you "'may i ZdehsdA of 'tHejpurceshun^yer h'ajbjpn^yeij ?&££ au^-t^oa^aB^iea% aroun'?y'dar^;body?

winks all over the room.) Do not prize de present too highly — do not forget de warnings of de past. We cannot recall de past, bat we can look back an' see whar' de grocer gin' us short weight on codfish, an' whar' we took advantage of a cloudy.4ay..to^pafls_a twenty-OOTtjJwoe off far a quarter. (Cheers and- applause;) " My hearers, we should not lib fur the past, but fur the fucher. What am it to us as we riz up in the inawnin' whedor Cfesar met Jnis.. mother-in-law_&t,.Jhe depot, or forbid ,her .his house f What am it to us as fwe retire to oar humble couches fur de night, whether de orators of Athens greased, deir.butes wid hud or went barfoot P As we sit on a box in de ally to consume our noon-day lunch- we car' not whether Brutus dyed his goatee or was clean-shaved. (Cries of ' No lnol') But de fuoher am big, wid events. To-day we may be full t of Borrow., If so, .jre hope dat de morrow will bring clamchowder.' (Great smacking of lips.),, t <lf de present am, full of biles an* chilblains an' heart-aches, de fucher may be .as bright as a cat's eyes shinin'' out of 'a bar'l on a dark night. Nebber' look back on de past. It am as much gone, as a three-cent piece paid out fur Fourth of July lemonade. Nebber despair of 4© fucher. When de heart.is heaviest,' 'de fire lowest, an' work de 1 you may find a lost or strike ''some butcher willin' to' give credit. (Whoops of applause.) ' My fren's, I am dun. Thanking you severely for your.infectious distractionylj'ramb'ulate to my seat wid oderiferous feelings of concentration towards each an' ebery one of you.' 1 JBrotlier Gurftner-in the, Detroit Free Press.