Humor.

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1568, 22 July 1882, Page 6

Humor.

CRITICISED EACH OTHER'S WORK. O^E day an editor, bard afc work, trying to devise a plan to make his delinquent subscribers pay their dues, was called upon, by a shoemaker, who called in, to give the editor some valuable hints on running a newspaper. , The editor, overjoyed at the opportunity, gave the man his best ' 'cane-seat chair, honored him. with a fresh cigar, and listened attentively to what h? had to say. , , . Quoth the . shoemaker, as he lit his. weed: ".Your paper needs a hundred improved features. You ,do not grasp the topics of 'th'e day by, the'righihandle ; " you don't seethe locals ,in the right \ Jrind of type i'your telegraph news ia^oOjthin ; , even the paper is ; pcjorly , niannfacjjtu^ed, not thicjc enoixgh^and o.f too cb!alHy< white: ,ybu don'i; run enough" matter I arid ,wiat I ypu i do!,nni,ai > nt!of t jtjQQ r nght ,sort; ; your idea , aji(out 1 prdjtectiv^ s ,is in-, iGonKUng^ma^^-^a^laa^^ jtell, yo^.;

critioise as anybody. If a man wants to give me advice I let him ; I'm glad to have him in fact." " That's exactly it," said the editor kindly. " I always had a dim idea of my shortcomings, but never had Jbhem so clearly and oohvinoingly set forth at by you. It is impossible to express my gratitude for the trouble you have taken, not only to find out these fact.", bat to point them out also. . Some.people,.knowing all the«e things, perhaps nearly as well as you, ' are mean enough to keek them to themselves. Your suggestions come in a most appropriate time. I have wanted some one to lean on, an it were, for some weeks. Keep your i eye on the paper, and when you find a weak spot come up." ,The shoemaker left, happy to know that his suggestions had been received with such a Christian spirit. Next day, just as he was finishing, a boot, the editor c-aine in, and picking up the mate, remarked: "I want to tell you how that boot strikes me. In the first place, the leather is poor ; the stitches in the sole are wide apart,, and the upper too near to the edge. Those uppers will go to pieces in two weeks. It's all wrong, my friend, putting poor leather in the heels, and smoothing: it over with, grease and lampblack. Everybody com plains- 1 of yonr buota ; they don't last; the legs, are too short, the toes too narrow, and the instep too high. How can you have the gall to charge §12. f0r such boots beats me. Now I tell you this beoause 1 like to see you succeed. Of course I don't know any more about shoemaking than you do about a newspaper, but ( still I take an interest in you Decauso you nre so well disposed to me. In fact I—" Here the exasperated cobbler grabbed a laps tone, and the editor gained the street, followed by old knives, pincers, hammers cind awls, sent after him by the wrathful cobbler, who, on regaining his seat, swore by the nine gods that no impertinent lopeared idiotshould ever come round trying to teach him his trade.— Chetokee County Cwranl.

THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR The Totonto, Cahado, Globe has the following : "Brother Smith, what does this mean ?" "What does that mean ?" "Bringing a nigger to this church ." "But he is intelligent and well edu- ; cated." "Who cares for that ? He is a trigger. " "But he is a friend of mine." "What of that ? Must you, therefore, insult the whole Congregation ?" "But lie is a Christian, and belongs to the same denomination." "What do I care for that ? Let him go and worship with his fellow niggers." "But he is worth $5,000,000," said the merchant. "Worth what ?" "Five million dollars." "Worth $5,000,000 ! Brother Smith, introduce me"— American Paper.