Mabsie,

Waikato Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1568, 22 July 1882, Page 5

Mabsie,

A wholesome dread of prolixity* tempered by a not unnatural desire to secure my readers' immediate and undivided attention, impels mo to speak out like a man, and confess, without farther reserve or circumlocution, that this veracious chronicle is neither more nor less than the record of as pretty a little love-affair as ever drew sigh from sympathetic bosom. Now, the most interesting personage in a love-stovy, is, beyond all controversy, its heroine, And the first duty ircutnbent upon the narrator of such a story is that of describing his heroine in the most glowing language his pen can command. Well, ray heroine's name is Mabsie. And, as a f acetious young lady once informed the select but limited social circle in which I have the honour to revolve Mabsie is "the Bhort for Mab." This last announcement may seem trival to the unobservant, but it is not so ; for it gives me the opportunity of explaining that ray pretty Mabaie was really named after the famous little potentate whose coachman was "a small gray- coated gnat." And why not? No fairy that ever danced in the moonlight, in the good old times when fairies were as plentiful as blackberries, was half so lithe, or half so volatile, or half so delicately fashioned as she. Moreover^ the circumstance 1 ? under which she first became " one of as?' were, to say, the'> t leant of it, unusual, if not exactly"' romantic ; thousrh,;the scene of their enactment {I ,was, just' an ordinary matter-of-fact,apartment in tke Alexandra LHptel/ft,, ;'J' :',v/': ',v/' ' V h'6&e 'in that* most' $less*aW6f '*x^tip^pli6ui^r)}o^t§lriea ' I retftrsed^3^^^^^ after - » "haVd'ila'y/s'Wdrk^n^thetreadingsrooin of*

to the best of my ability, I knocked at the door of an adjoining chamber ; described my condition to a member of my family who seemed to me to be tossing the furniture of her room from side to with reckless impetuosity ; and paused bide for a reply. I received one, immediate, terse, and uttered in a tone of unwonted excitement. " Come in, quick ! and shut the door." I obeyed, of course ; and, seeing three chairs and a towl-horse turned upside down in the middle of the room, prepared to restore them to their normal position ; whereupon, a gray, brown, fluffy object, with a long, gray, fluffy tail like a comet appeared, and vanished behind the wardrobe. " What, in the name of wonder, is that ? I asked ; not a little startled by the apparition and very much astonished at the suddeness of its disappearance. " That is Mabsie," said the member of my family. "Do you think you could catch her ?" I thought I could ; and essayed to move the wardrobe, which, however, proved to be so inconveniently heavy that I reconsidered the matter, and rang for the waiting-maid, who declined to interfere, on the ground that she was " frightened to death of the parrot." The " parrot, 1 ' indeed ! Truly it is high time that board schools were established everywhere. Scorning the aid of so ignorant a domestic, I gave another tug at the ponderous structure and succeeded' after much painful travail, in moving it nearly half A quarter of an inch from the wall j when, straightway, the fluffy mass darted oyejf my head, looked down upon me with well-bred curiosity from the top of th 6 bedstead, sat for a moment on the handle of the water jug, knocked over a cahdlei stick, and finally settled itself comfortably on the mantlepiece. Blessing Fate for my opportunity — for I have already hinted that I was famishing— l now made a grab at the furry meteor ; and was rewarded for my pains with a volley of abusive language which would have left Mark Twain's blue jays nowhere. Assuredly, Mips Mab«ue's education had not stopped short of the " rudiments" of invective. The step from the mantelpiece to the window-frame being a mere trifle of some ten or twelve feet, or thereabouts, Mabsie accomplished it at a single bound ; and, seated on a convenient cross-bar, watched the movements of the carriages in Hyde Park with manifest interest. Then I bethought me of diplomacy. My friend's open cage stood on a table close by. Igently moved it to the window, and, while she* was engaged in criticising the dress of a severely aesthetic young lady who occupied the seat of honour in a barouche on the opposite side of the road, my cautious relative and I succeeded in quietly elbowing her into her normal habitation. I now, for the first time, had an opportunity of observing this remarkable young person at my leasure ,- and, truly, I no longer marvelled at her evident disapproval of her aesthetic sister's habiliments. Her own garments were conceived in irreproachable taste, and the form they clothed was perfect. Imagine a little body, about as large as that of a fine full grown squirrel, covered with soft fur, in which a thousand tints of gray and black and orange arc so cunningly intermingled with each other that it is impossible to describe the resulting colour by any generic term. Imagine a wee face, like that of a dear old lady, who has seen much sorrow, but borne it so bravely that it has in ho wise dimmed the flash of her bright brown eyes, though the expression of certain sad lines around her pretty mouth is too pathetic to be misunderstood. Imagine in the middle of this little lady's forehead, a snow white patch, like the bandeau of a Sister of Charity ; and, on either side of her head, a rich black plume, so light that it looks as if a breath would serve to disperse it into infinite space. Finally, imagine, in place of the little lady's hands, two delicate brown paws ; in place of her highheeled shoes, two well-formed feet, strong enough to hang by her head downwards should occassion render such a proceeding desirable, or to sit upon, or to leap withal over a grand pianoforte, or a Japanese screen, or any other reasonable obstacle you choose to place in their way ; in lieu of her train, picture to yourself a tail, longer than that appertaining to the grandest chat in the chateau of the Marquis de Carabas, gray ar one season of the year, and, at another marked with alternate rings of black and cmnamon . Imagine all this, I say, and you will be able to fdrm a tolerably correct idea of Mabsic's personal appearance; ami probably bo prepared to hear that she is a marmoset— not of the common kind usually sold in bird-shops but of a rarer, more delicate, and more easily tameable species, remarkable for the grace of its movements, the gentleness of its disposition, and the modest propriety of its demeanour (when not provoked to put the blue jays to shame by the violence of its execrations). Mabsie did not in the least mind beiug looked at. I think she rather liked it. When I offered her a piece of cake, she put her right hand out of the cage and took it, with the air of one who was not only privileged to expect polite attention but really did expect it. And she ate her little morsel as delicately as the aesthetic young lady would have eaten an ice-water at a garden party. There can be no doubt that that mite of cake cemented our friendship, for good and all ; for we have never, since I offered it to her, had a dispute upon any subject whatever. Indeed, the look she gave me was as good as a bond of truce, sealed, signed, and delivered. So Mabsie became " one of us." And we took her down to our quiet country home, rejoicing in the possession of so delightful an addition to ourfamily circle. Albeit, I regret to say that her reception by certain members of that amiable confraternity was not altogether such as we could have desired. The truth is, we —that is to say the member of my family to whom I have more than once had occasion to allude and myself — live under a zob'cracy. And among the zoocracy are certain dignitaries, who, not having'been consulted on this matter, took grievous offence at the want of proper respect showu to them by their inferiors. Miss Topsy, a black-and-tan terrier of exalted lineage, and such very-exalted-indeed- ideas of ,her own sovereign ?rights that a sarcastic friend of mine calls her " the home-ruler' — Miss Tppsy, the beloved* the J petted, the spoiled,^ would; not so,, much as look at!ourtnew_,friend.t -Mistres < Chlpe, ;a princess-of -the r did ; indeed condesjjeudtdiloojs^d even^to sniff, ; but (evMe^ly^%^JsQre,fnend^ I 'inte9tJ9n4 % .thatf thattpl^ tdisc^v^rMg'jwhe^ther-, or, ; not lfo^Mw?i§^U6 : , J4Be6in&.tfi^J 4 8e6in&.tfi^t i Jie^wpliUd^^X?

some line of policy equally agreeable to all parties, Meanwhile, thinking that Mabsie's limls looked cramped after her long journey, I took her into the , dining-room, and set her free, for a run. A grey-black-and-orange flash darted instantly from the cage door to the window-curtain. At the same moment, a blaok-and-'tan flash darted from under my ohair. v . <By dint of superhuman alacrity, 'for whftih I am not generally remarkable', I Succeeded in hooking my finger into the collar of the laat- named flash, for — say half a Becond. By the time that half-second had expired, Mabsie was ,safo on the curtain-pole, looking down upon the world below, with her head on one side, as who should say, ' Dear friend, you really must run faster, if you do not want to lose sight of the tip of my tail in the distance.' Whereupon, Mies Topsy confessed herself fairly vanquished, the internecine feud came to an end ; and all parties agreed to dwell' together in peace and unity. Like most spoiled beauties, Mabsie Soon began to show signs of a temper delightfully capricious. One day, when a lady (to whom I had imprudently described her as a paragon of affability) came to see her, she refused to put as much as the tip of her nose out of be<i until her visitor had departed, when she immediately exhibited herself at her 'beaj; — that is to say, she ate up a whole banana^ and tore my favorite pen- wiper to shreds, She will sometimes remain inert all* day! <• and rush about her cage in the -.'evening ! like a mad thing or be aslivejy;:as< a squirrel in the morning, and' retire to rest at noon, to reappear no more until noon the next day. Her claim to the sovereignty of the curtain-pole remaining undisputed, she delights in perching herself on its exact centre, and summoning all the other marmosets in the world to her Court, by means of a cry, which we at first mistook for a whistle, though' subsequent observation proved it to proceed directlyi fronv. the >lurog;a.ii This ory is very remankable. > Though j miles above the rangeiofibrdiuaiyJs'opraTio voices, it is a true " ches^no'te 1 /' ~»'IA greabmusician — Herr Wagner, for iifstanteejrwbuld describe ifc as the fi.ve'-times'm'arked^ the pitch of which is an octavel higher "than that of the highesti (*■ ono'tihe ipiarioforte ! The note is always >the same* and always repeated four times. Then follows a pause of a minute, .or thereabouts ;/ then another fourfold cry,followcd by another pause, and so on, throughout the. entire afternoon. lam not superstitious. It taxes my credualty to believe that two and two make four. But I do believe that this cry is Masonic, and intelligible only"' to marmosets of high intellectual culture s■> and I lived in* daily hope of hearing some' Past Master of the Higher laitiatioi reply to it. Wiser than some of her humam sifters, Mabsie never sings oub of tune. Wh' n she is "not in good voice" she holds her peace. She held her peace so long-last winter that we began to fear she must be out of health. So I wrote to an experienced keeper at the Zoological Gardens, and entreated him to prescribe for her. Ho prescribed sponge-cakes steeped in cream, and hat-houso grape?. By dint of perseverance we succeeded, i.ft that untimely season, in petting a very few grapes, at the rate of three-pence each ; and of these she condescenned just to taste one or two of the best. The cakes~an& cream were more successful, and have ever since remained her favourite food. She likes a grape occasionally ; but, if disturbed while eating it, drops it iusUntly, and never stoops to pick 'it up. We thought, at first that this was becanse she did not rtally care for the fruit ; but may not the habit be traced to a still more natural canfie ? A banana, dropped in the forest, falls twenty feet at a stretch ; and it would scarcely be worth while to run down after it, with i dozen bunches of ripe fruit hanging within reach. When Mabtie drops a grape, s-he docs not stay to calculate the distance it has fallen, but leaves it to its fate, and holds out her hand for another. Still, there are troubles which neither grapes nor bananas, nnr even cakes and cream oan cure. And, before very long, it became so evident that our poor little Mabsie lacked something, that wo grew quite uneasy about hrr. At last, it dawned up »n our minds that something might possibly be a mate. To put the question to the tost, we showed her a looking-glass : and her attempt* to eaivsp her own reflection within ifc were ro piteously touching, that we determined to seek a suitable companion for her the very next time wo found ourselves in London. Alas ! there was not even a marmoset of the common white- whiskered species exposed for sale in any shop we visited. In this sore strait, the friendly keeper suggested a vi«it to " Jamrach's ;" where he told me I was qui'e "sure to get my moneys worth for my money." So, I wended my way to the far East — not on the hump of a camel, but on the knife-board of a Blaokw.ill omnibus— and, in due time, found myself in tho famous naturalist's meuafirerie, where I saw all manner of beasts, furred, feathered, shelled, and scaled ; but not so much as the ghost of a pencil-eared marmoset. So I was fain to content myself with a promise of tho earliest intelligence of an expected consignment. Meanwhile, well knowing that no vulgar animal was ever permitted to set foot within the sacred preoinctd of Mr Jamrach's vivarinm, I intimated my intense desire to make acquaintance with some of its inmates; whereupon I was politely introduced to a blue-bud, a lion, an ocelot, a llama, a mongoose, a mocking bird, a tiger, a nonpareil, a bonnetmonkey, a laughing-jackass, a dorsal squirrel, and a jerboa. I seems juidividious to descend into particulars in describing a company so truly select. Yet there are distinctions, even among the eycnie de la crenie of the very best society ; and I had not been long in' the presence of these distinguished representatives of the haute noblesse, be* forej found that my abili't to resist their seductions extended only to the first ten members of the august fraternity. To the charms of the remaining two I succumbed there and then. The jerboa was • simply irresistible, with its pretty hare-like face, its great black-eyes as round as marbles, t its dainty little stilts, and the black-and-white tuft, like a bundle df silk, at the end of its long lithe tail. And the dorsal sqnirrel ? Well, its back was covered with soft black velvet, of, a richness quite unapprachable in these degenerate _, days, though our great • great-grandmothera may perhaps, Jiave worn something arore worthy^ to ' be (Compared Its sides were qf orange-coloured < satin,^ ; and in, $lace ot a tail jte T w»ved about it» tyck .ay- glbjious -- ostrich-f eathei-,'{ tinted ,with , b|ack and, grey and richeatitgwny red, in infinite gvft(latiQns.Sy i hioti 5 3vdnld t ,have des^&s&Vfa^s^\^(toiti^ ;en ; ;

"v .if f ii,', ; time, I retired to, rest,- with a cage;at< each end of my bed. . f „<; ,^. , I dreamed that a regiment of. Sappers and Miners from the Knightsbiidge, .-BjuSracks was sawirigfthe house jtovpiejqes.] Fardon me, (0 ( 0 brave Life Guards,} if t jyou>: can. Thereis no limit to the foolishness 5 of drgapis. - Being > only a lodger, J,didJ riot feej^ugy self called upon^to, inteitere,| until tli&ittoise of some hundred { andb, fi/tys, handsaws was suddenly succeeded. , by »• dead silence. • Then I.awoke^jitt^aipjriißl confusion of mind ; and, by the .glimmer^ of my nightlight, beheld a million jqrboag:? skipping about the r,uom in " ey «ry,j >gont>* cci vable direction. Such a , multitude /of j living creatures I never sawjfbefprft.'jnotj even in the bee-hive./ However,) -, onil lighting my candle, I found, that .lhjid: made a trifling mistake. Theresas ftnlyj one jerboa. . But jthat one possessed, Jher power of jumping in a. million, different'; directions, andi^taring at me from a,j njil^ lion different points of view, ' at . one r andi the same moment; His movements were? so noiseless, and his long springs s,o,|jn«,\ conceivably rapid) 1 thas the j effect -rthjey.t produced was that of a flickering shadow ' Weaving its, network from end ,to > end of the , room ;in chequered) . lines which -crossed,, > and ' recrossed each ! osher~§p-swif,tly l tnat it made one's head 'feel quitei dizzy to watch , , them. '- Common sense assured me that' five lninutea of such exercise as that woujkl . ".sttfjiice»to tire out the noblest-born jerboa I that ever traced back its ! descent to >;the J days of Pharaoh ; soiljsatdoijvmon. * the side of my bed, and quietly,; awaited I , results. After the lapse ;pf three,-;qu,a>'s ! ters of an hour, my,, faith in ..common : sense began to, waver, ji , -Twenty minutes r later I , found it; flesirajrte Reject .sftjl * evidence saye t ,;f;hat based -upon^e^peri- 5 ence ;<aud s as the result) I had^ awaited seemed as far distant *As ever, , I endea- ,> voured jto^propitiate^niy goojjl fortune /iby oxert i acts wajbh ? tural course io/ ev^enjbs. j-,X threw; -, piece of cake — some bread — a ;handful;i>jf^ ludian corn. , But my; ■, enchantmenti - were in vain. I might 1 as t tyell y&ay©,:J offered a slice of cold bftcon td^Brillat* .* Savarin. Having provided all m»uner, pf » meats for the entertaiunient \o£&l-jnyj guests, I was enabled to try the .effect; pf 1 a cabbage-leaf . , , After ;taking jus.t, onie^ bite at this in passing,; my friend ijumpgd^straight into the fender. I did thesani + ej|*!| and surprised him so much by myj.un>| wonted agility, that he stood- stUl^toi stare at me. This little act of^indfs-tj cretion lost him the game. * I caught; him, point blank, and, his own cage 'being' bitten through and through, I puthim into^ that belonging to the Dorsal ;Squirrel. Quite undisturbed by this summary;,.prpceeding, he instantly began to devour t every scrap of food he found in . the house, to the infinite disgust ;of its lawful occupant, who cursed him by his gods - in tones quite awful to listen to. It is ' needless to say that this distressing exhi- - bition of profanity was completely thrown away. Unmoved by the mutterd t oaths of his irasible neighbour, the bold Egyptian followed up his attack upon the food by proceeding to demolish the cage. The one task was, clearly, quite as easy to him is the other, . and his detennina* - tion to make short work of it was.^O^strongly pronounced, that I at once jgvfi cognised the necessity of keeping awake ! all night. It would have been a weary ! watch fou me, had it not beeu-. so inexpfc^aibjly anYusiug, §u,t to my .infinite delight;, at the first blush of dawnp-'my tormentor fell fast asleep — and so did I. The next'cVtvy being Sunday, the impossibility of procuring a stronger cage impressed me with a feeling nearly akin to dismay. Towards eventide, however. The hotel porter, to whom I had c&nfi: fided my trouble, was visited with an inspiration. •He brought me a huge wire rat-trap, strong enough to have satisfied the gaolers of Potiphar himself ; and this, comfortably padded with tow, formed a convenient habitation from which the compatriot of the Pharaohs could in no wiso effect his escape. - So, that night, I slept in peace, setting all the Sappers and Miners in the world' at defiance. < , Two days later, I received notice of. a small consignment of marmosets, among which I was fortnnato enough to finds a Puck who seemed to me rewlly -worthy Jot our pretty Mabsie. If I wore only just the least little bit in the world sentimontal—wl.ioh I am not — I would try t to' describe the first mcc'inu: of tbo gentle, lovers. But since experience has taught me over and over again that my pen xis uneqp.nl to the task of depicting anything at all connected with the rise and progce>s of the tender passion, all I can say 'is that the interview was most touching, and 'the success of our matchmaking experiment unbounded. The transports of the hohefymoon subsided, in progress of time, into a quiet sort of Darby-and-Joan affection, exceeding beautiful* to behold ;. and the happy pair are sitting, at this moment, side by side upon the curtain pole nodding their heads at each other with agra"ve dignity quite uudisturbed by the- gambols of the jerboa baneath them, and scarcely ruffled even by the periodical visits of the dorsal squirrel, who runs-,up» every five minutes or so, to inquire how they find themselves. I am not, quite sure that I have ever seen a fast yortng couple of the human species behave so courteously in the presence of a troublesome visitor ; though I make no doubt that our grandfathers and grandmothers were every whit as graceful and as'dignfied. Well! I am fond of ' dignity myself, and I confess that' ihy sympathies are entirely on the side of our venerable progenitors, and on that of the two- tirty creatures who so prettily remind-, me of them, and who- are conversing, 1 together, as I write, with such ineffable ■ politeness, that I protest I feel quite ashamedjofi the roughness of my poor human' manners. Per Jovern. ! Mabsie is putting 'up ( he? cheek to be patted ; ami Puck is actually patting it. May they live happily;'together for ever after ! w. s. bockstro.

•' The teacher of a country 1 school, '.'l continues the same correspondent," "'onceH purchased at my brother's store ArtemuaM Ward's book as a prize to be awarde^l iril his school. The pupil who rfedeiVedM it was a young man, to whbiri X theM teacher remarked that, be wished' sorheM other book he' could exchange ' iti .AH few 'days afterwards the y^otith canie tol .the Stove and asked to hive itexcb'angedjH Don'tyoulike it?'saidmy brother; saul ' he,' ''the rewind iV^llo^t^M good, but the 'spellm' atH'V'righß^Sm TlarpWyfcaffazhic. . ' /'^'^SSH Bridget (says Ogles' ii^ the Jmti'afy^A $lan) is^lvteral!' lieu predcce,s l So'rHiswl i le|^B hei^hired^service, owing '^q iiayin'g^fiillgiH ill of s gasft'ic fever. f T^ow,' iii' 'ih'f^j^^H cooking is t/ effecte<l 'by'^eansr'ofraj'M^B Bibve, s /witli whicK !6rid^et' s'don, f^li-inSB r <Vifficu\llasr; ! Havmg v dl?6 ! Mear>lS^tM ilasWlobk' haaVleft.l jMn •notice to her mistress " tditsiut befffilfjM »,'• But won't r you ( remainaintilil>spffii> ? s^B rsoine one to take youvj *plaW!& *^PM .you^warfth me) target / -tfi|ffiaB?nc^few« wtiib^hAina^ty^stoVer'liKe^tM/WjSi™