DIVINE SERVICE. (A Sotto-voce Dialogue.)

Waikato Times, Volume XVI, Issue 1394, 9 June 1881, Page 3

DIVINE SERVICE. (A Sotto-voce Dialogue.)

[A fashionable Church of the advanced' Ritualistic type. Mrs. A. and Mm. B. in a remote corner of the edifice. The Litany in proceeding.] Mrs. A. {behind her fan.) Ho intones well, does ho not ? Hike the quality of his voice ; and the accent on ' miserable ' sinners' ia quite too pathetic ! Mrs. B. (behind her fan). Yes, his voice is very well, bat nothing to the new ! curate's at St. Olave's. Besides, he's so handsome ! Mrs. A. What is his name? Mrs B. Ferdinand Soapley. He is very yonng, but quite too agreeable, and he sings divinely. You should have heard him sing at my "at home " last week — quite like a professional. Mrs A. And much less expensive, dear Mrs B. You are quite right to think of that in these hard times. I shall send him a card for my tableaux. But perhaps he objects to theatricals ? Mrs B. 0 no ; he is too wise to be strait-laced ; he has acted himself, I believe — of course before he took Holy Orders. His figure is too good for that kind of thing, and he has such sympathetic eyes. By the way, how are your tableaux proceeding ? Did you manage to persuade Lord Toplington to take a part ? Mrs A. Not much persua&ion required, I assure you. He quite jumped at my proposal. But then he would do anything to oblige me ; quite an old friend of mine. I think you would like him if you knew him. I don't think you do know him, do you ? Such a pity ! Mrs B. I never quite liked his tone ; and really he flirts in too marked a way with pretty little Mrs Hopwood. Are you not jealous ? Mrs. A. What a question ! No, of course not. He can do as he likes. 0, are you going to Lady Turnover's ball ? Because, if you really cared to, I think I could get you a card. Mrs. B. Hush ! They are going to sing the hymn, and I suppose we must not talk during the music. (In a low whisper) Is your husband here ? Mrs. A. No. Is yours? Of course, he never comes to church. Very trying- for you, is it not ? Mrs. B. 0, he pleases himself at home. Your husband does not usually stay at home, does he? One generally knows where to find him — at Mrs. — Hush, there is Mr. Cherubim ! [The liev. JEmihus Cherubim mounts the pulpU-ttairs, and turns to the cait. General arrangement of drebses and chuchotement of fans. "\ Mrs A. I am so glad Mr Cherubin is going to preach. If any one does one good, he does {Low behind her fan) Do notice that extraordinary Mrs Somerly ! what wonderful sleeves, and a more marvellous toque than usual ! Really she goes too far in her aesthetics ! Rev. Mm. Ch. I wish my dear brethren, to consider with you what Lenten penance really means, and what end it subserves, It means, &c. Mrs B. is your mantel a ' Mother Hubbard' or a ' Directoire* ? Mrs A. Why they are the same thing ! They call them ' Direotiore' in Prance, and ' Mother Hubbard' in England. Mrs B. 0 no, I assure you not. My dressmaker tells me there are several marked differences. The ' Directoire' is straight across the back, and has narrow-pointed ends below the waist in front, while the ' Mother Hubbard'— Rev. Mm. Ch. Let me warn you, my dear brothers and sisters —let me affectionately warn you. There is even yet amongst us the lust of the eyes, there is still the pride ot life. When I see — Mrs A. Do you know the new Louvre brocades? One is simply divine,— the 'Flammina' — with large red-and-white tulips scattered over a cream ground — quite too lovely ! But ' the Paradise' is perhaps the best, a brocade of rich white material striped with goid, and large beuqut'ts of bluish-green and pale-pink flowers over it. The Countess Constantia had one on the other evening. Mrs B, It is all very well for you, but Arthur will never allow me to dress myself properly. Actually he wants me to leave off having my dresses from' Paris. Mrs. A. What a barbarian ! Why, he will make you shop at the Co-operative Stores next ! Rev. Mm. Ch. But for us, who are of the fold, we have renounced these frivolities ! We have a heart proof against the insidious advances of the tempter ; our tongue is purified in the fire of a chastened faith — Mrs. B. What a beautiful style, Mr. Cherubim has, to be sure ! There is no needless acerbity about him, and his images are very fine. Good gracious, do you see that odious Mrs. Challis ! Did I ever tell you her past history ? Mrs. A. No ; do tell me ! I know she is terribly fond of scandal. Mrs. B. 0 my dear, if that were all! But, you know, I have heard, on very good authority, from Mr. Aldebright, who knew something of her long ago, that she really was onee — (Whispers very loic). Mrs. A. No, really ? Well, I always thought there was something queer about her style. And she has such curious friends. I wonder, you ever go to her house. , Mrs. B. Igo very rarely ; and really Arthur makes me go. He admires her, I believe. Mrs. A. (laughing). But then he has suoh odd tastes ! Mrs. B. For the matter of that, do you know where I saw your lord and master last ? Did I not tell you ! Well, I waa driving — Rev. Mm. Ch. The glories of i, the future my humble voice shall not essay, when we meet all whom we have loved and lost, when we see. — Mrs. A. Where did you get those passementeries in floral patterns ? 0, I thought that old gold and amber were becoming out of fashion. But of course you know best. Hush ! he has finished at last. Rev. Mm. Ch. And now to — Mrsß. Well, really, I hardly knew what a good preacher he waa ! What a divine sermon ! >' '> - ' Mrs A. Yes ; does it not make' one j feel better? lam so glad I came. It gives one such a good appetite to feel that one has 1 been to church. Will you 1 come to lunch? ' r| Mrs B. Thank you, no. I promised to look in at Countess Malbrino's. Mrs A. Good-bye';' then. 1 ' 'You will be sure to let me know, if {you 'really want a card for Lady Turnover's? I am sur-

prised at your not knowing her. I thought uhe knew everybody. Good-bye, dear ; au revoir ! A delightful oermon, as you say.— (" Leo." in the World, April