ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XVI, Issue 1389, 28 May 1881, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

The Grammar School Governors held another meeting on Monday, when the appointment of , the,' new Head Master was considered — who and what he should be, and who and what he should not be; Two things seem to have been decided — that he must be a graduate of a University, and that, if it can be avoided, he must not be a parson. The latter decision will be a severe blow to the Rev. C. M. Nelson, who was not at the meeting, being at Kawau, enjoying the hospitality of his dear friend Sir George Grey. He will be disappointed when he learnß the decision, because people say (they may be right, or they may be wrong), that he was casting longing eyes towards that ! £700 a-year and perquisites. Those who know him say that he is singularly unfitted for the position, but I am quite sure he does not think so, and that, if he thought he would be appointed, he would resign his governorship to-morrow, and send in an application the next day, as £700 a-year and perquisites would be [much better than £400 per annum and a i free house, which is t the value the parishioners of St. Paul's put on the services of their spiritual guide. These sapient Governors have made an interesting discoveiy — that there are .other universities in the United Kingdom besides those of Oxford and Cambridge ; and Mr Fenton has made a discovery on his own account — that the University of Edinburgh is something more than a medical college. I will tell the Governors something else, even though I run the risk of being requested to teach one of my most ancient female progenitors to extract the nourishment from an egg by making a puncture in the end thereof and applying her lips thereto, and that is that if they want a really good Head Master they are more likely to get one from London or Edinburgh than from Oxford or Cambridge. The St. James's Improvement Association has been graciously pleased to approve of the Irish policy of the Gladstone Ministry. How pleasant it will be for Mr Gladstone to learn this fact. Ido hope that an intimation of it has been telegraphed to him. If this has not been already done it ought to be done at once. Indeed, I should feel disposed to send him a cablegram myself, announcing the important decision of the Association, provided it can be made " collect." The decision reminds me of a manifesto issued 1 by King George of Tonga, whose army > consists of thirty men and his navy of one cutter armed with two guns, announcing at the time of the Franco-Prussian I war, if I remember aright, that, whatever complications should arise in Europe, the kingdom of Tonga would remain neutral. Will the St. James' improvement Association kindly go a little further in their ; patronage of the Gladstone Government, and approve of their Foreign Policy ? The fruits of the costly Afghan and Zulu wars have heen thrown away, and the Boers are to obtain their independence before the defeats of our troops have been avenged. In fact, the present ministry, have been eating the leek to Mich an extent that their breaths must » mell as strong of that savoury esculent, as the breath of an Italiant peasant smells of garlic. Wonderful to relate, the Queen's Birthday was fine. Ah a rule the weather is cloudy and thrsatening rain in the moining of the anniversary of Her Majesty's natal day, and the firing of the royal salute at mid-day turns the threatening into a reality, but Tuesday last was the exception which proves the rule. The morning was somewhat gloomy, and many people expected rain in the afternoon, but they were agreeably disappointed, as, for once in a while, we had no rain on Queen's Birthday. Make a note of the fact as it is not likely to occur again in a hurry. Fortunately, there was no review, or, I should rather say, there was no attempt at a review, for volunteering 1 has been at such a low ebb in Auckland for some time past that what has been called a review has been a wretched apology .for one. As the poet says (not the Herald's friend, Mr Pope), why is this thusly? Has the martial ardour, which used to fill the breasts of the young men of Auckand burned itself out ? A noble youth, aged eighteen, and about five feet nothing in hi»rht, who is a member of our splendid volunteer force, told me sometime ago that there were upwards of forty on the roll of the company to which he belongs, but that the average attendance varied from six to twelve, unless, to use his own beautiful and expressive language, "there was a feed on," in which qase almost every man in the company would be present. To quote Pope, I mean Shakspeare, " There's something rotten in the state of Denmark." Do I sleep > Do I dream > Do I wonder and doubt > Arc things what they seem, Or arc visions about > Is the "country's saviour" a failure? Is the great Pro-Council played out ' I think he must be played out, for he has allowed a Frenchman to take the wind out of his sails, and has not even followed in the Franchman's wake. I see by the cablegrams that the French Chamber of Deputies has altered the system of election. Instead of having a number of constituents, each returning one or more members, all the electors in the Republic are to have the right to vote for as many men as there are Deputies required. The inevitable consequence will be that the large cities will elect the Chamber of Deputies, in which the small towns and country districts will be totally unrepresented. This system would suit Sir George Grey exactly, as it would place the election of the eiphty-eijrht members of the House of Representatives in the hands of the citizens of Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, and Dnnedin, the people who can be fooled by such a piece of bunkum, for instance, as the cry "the land for the people." It is a popular fallacy, fostered by such men as " the savior of the country," that country people are phlegmatic and stupid, but such is certainly not my opinion. On the contrary, my experience is that country people take ' longer to make up their minds on a subject than townspeople, for the simple reason that they think carefully about a matter before forming an opinion about it, whereas townspeople seem to be ever ready to believe any claptrap that is cleverly told them. Yes ! there is jio doubt that the Grey party would soon return to power if the newly adopted French system of election were brought into force in this colony. It would not surprise me to see the system tacked on to the Great Liberal Policy, so it behoves men of 'sense in both town and country to be very careful what members they return to Parliament at the general election' to take place shortly, and to see' to it that they eleot none who i would be in favour of subverting the con- • stitution by making such an alteration in< the mode of election as 1 has been made by the French Chamber of Deputies. It'is curious to notice the number of burglaries that have' been carried' on in . Auckland, and the' futility of the efforts of th'fe detectives to' discover th'e'perpetra- ' tor^ of the crimes. ( On the principle 'of "seta thief f;o catch a thief, "it would be a good 'plan' to dismiss the present l'detectives,, and, to get '& few accomplished burglars to th.ke their, ;, places. There is one gnridus .ieafcure :, in , connection with the latent b'urglary^>t;b'a.t 'at 1 fch'ti' Observer office. That "is" should hav^ .been aq,much,as.£6ipla the, office. f Whjj l was the nioVe^'ndt'|jajtkea?*'-I)oe5 u the proprietors^ 1 6&«W ! Bot know the

use of a batik— W receive as much mdney as possible, and as often as practicable, to return cheques and promissory notes, with the corner turned down, and the intimation, ''Refer to drawer," or the ominous letters, "N.S.F" written thereon? If he does not, he ought to learn,, that the saf eat plan is to bank his moneys not to keep it in a cash box, or, as was the case at the City Council offices, when the burglary took place there, to put it in a safe, lock the safe and leave the key in a convenient place, easily found by anyone burglariously inclined. I noticed, in Tuesday's Waikato Times an advertisement offering the Waihato Mail for sale. I had almost forgotten that there was such a paper, as we have never seen it at ,the Cafe. One of the diners here once received a copy I believe, and the consequence is he has been envied as the proud possessor of a rare curiosity. St. MtfNGO