HALF-WAY DOIN'S.

Waikato Times, Volume XV, Issue 1314, 30 November 1880, Page 3

HALF-WAY DOIN'S.

Belubbed fellow trabellers, in holdin' forth to-day, I doesn't quote no special verse for what I has to say ; De sermon will be bery short, an' dis here am te tex', Dat half-way doin's am no count for dis worl' or de nex. ' Dis worl' dat we's a-libbin' in is like a cotton row, Whar ebery cullucl gentleman has got his line to hoe ; An' ebery time a lazy nigga stops to a nap, De grass keep on a-groin' for to smudder up his crap. When Moses led de Jews acrost do waters ob de sea, Dey had to keep a-goin' jest as fas' as fas' could be ; Do you B* pose dat dey cud eber hab succeeded in deir wish And* reached de Promised Land at last, if dey had stopfc to fish ? My fren's, dpre was a garden once, whar Adam libbed wid Eb\ Wid no one round 1 to bodder dexn, no neighbors for to thieb, And' eberv day was Chris' mas, an' dey got deir rations free, An' eberything belonged to dom, 'cept an apple tree. You all know 'bout de story, how de snake came scoopin' roun 1 — A stump-tail, rusty mocassin, a-crawlin* on the gronn, — How Ebe an' Adam ate de fruit, au' went an' hid deir face, Till the angel-oher-eer he cum an' drobe dem off de place. Now s'pose dat man an' 'oman hadn't tempted for to shirk, But had gone on 'bout deir gardening an 'tended to deir work, Dey wudn't hab bin loafin' whar dey had no bis'ness to, An de debbil nebber'd got a chance to tell 'em Avhattodo. No half-way doin's, breddren ! It'll nebber do, I say ! Go at your task, an' finish it, an' den's de time to pby ; For, eben if de crop is good, de rain'll spoil de bolls, Unless you keeps a-pickin' in de garden ob your souls. Keep a-ploughin'.|ui' a-hoein' an' a-scrapin ob de rows, An' when de ginnin's ober you can pay up what you owes ; But if you quits a-workin' ebery time de sun is hot, De Sheriff's goin' to lebby upon ebery ting you got. Whateber 'tis you's dribin' at, be sure an dribe it thru, An' don't let nuthin' atop you, but jes' do what you'a gwine to do, For when you see a nigga foolin' den, as sure 's you's born, You's goin' to see him comin' out de small end ob de horn ! I thanks you for de 'tention you has gib dis afternoon, — Sister Williams will oblige us by a-raisin' ob a tune, — I see dat Brudder Johnson's bout to pass aroun' de hat, An' don't let's hab no half-way doin's when it cuma to dat ! — Scribner's Monthly.

Phoxetic. — Maiden aunt to tall young nephew : " \s I stood by you in church, Percy, I could not help being struck, by your size.'' Percy: " Very sorry, aunt , but there was such an awful pretty girl the o4ier side the aisle, I couldn't help sighing." The Pale of Civilisation.— Pearl

powder. Artemus Ward once told 113 that the funniest story he ever heard was about an inebriated reporter, who leaned over the railing of the reporter's gallery in the Engiit-h House of Lords, and enquired, '• Will shum noble 'ord plea' shing comic song," ..