ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XV, Issue 1301, 30 October 1880, Page 2

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Last Saturday the Commercial Gazette stopped its gratuitous circulation, and was sold at the moderate price of a penny. It is certainly a very good paper for the j money, containing a great deal of good readable matter. Thero is nothing of an objectionable nature in the paper, the proprietor knowiug that the Herald is able to supply the reading public with sufficient of that sort of matter. On Saturday evening:, as I was passing along Queen-htreel about 1 1 o'clock, I saw a small b»v sitting in a niche in front of the South British Buildings. He was one of the runners of the Mercantile Gazette, ho I bought a paper from him and advised him to go home. He told me that he would get a pair of new boots on Monday, as he had sold more papers than any other runner, and the publisher had promised to give a pair of boots to the boy who sold most, and a felt hat to the boy who took second place. Whether in consequence, or in spite of, Cambridge having a newspaper of its own, the Agricultural Show does not seem to have been a success. Such a thing ought not to be. Waikato people boast, and with good cause of the splendid quality of their agricultural land, so no Cattle Show (the old name I was accustomed to for so many years sounds more pleasantly to my ear than Agricultural Show) held in the district should be anything but an unqualified success. That the Show was not a success seems manifest from the report in the Waikato Times and from remarks made by the judges and visitors. My Waikato friends ! I would say to you what my old master (schoolmaster, not painter) used to say to me after he hai given me a flogging for some offence committed, "See that this does not happen agaiu." The Observer took the wind out of the sail* of the other paper* by giving a full account of the Fancy Dress Ball in the Choral Hall, whereas they gave nothing but Home of the names of those present and the character they represented. The best of the joke was that the Ball Committee decided to send tickets to each of the papers except the Observer. Some of those at the ball were displeased at the accouut of it given by the Observer, but most of them had the good sense to laugh at the jokes made at their expense. Not so, Mr Hopkins, who was referred to in the report as looking worse, if possible, in the officer's uniform he wore than in the riding trousers he usually wears about town. He borrowed a donkey, had it taken up Shortland-street, and, accompanied by a friend, went into the Obwrrr office to bring out the editor and put him on the donkey. The editor, however, did not aspire to the honor of riding Mr Abbotts pet, so he promised to apologise to Mr Hopkins in the next issue of the Observer. The little incident caused a good deal of excitement in Shortlandstreet on Monday afternoon, a large crowd having assembled to see the fun. Of course, there was a good deal of diversity of opinion about Mr Hopkins action. Some few sympathised with him, but the majority said that it was better to take no notice of things of the sort, and that Mr Hopkins did wisely to take a donkey with him, on the "birds of a feather principle. " (Look out, my noble Editor, for if you put in my remark you may have a visit Iroin Mr Hopkins). Mr F. J. Moss, M.H.R. for Parnell, addressed his constituents, or at any rate a portion of them, on Tuesday evening in the Parnell Hall, and received a vote of confidence, which shows that the scales of Greyism have not yet fallen from the eyes of all the people in the colony. Of course he abused the present Government and condemned their administration of affairs. Equally of course, he did not. tell his hearers that the Hall Government had carried what were called the measures of the Great Liberal Party, which were as he well knew, merely a party cry to be used by Sir George Grey when stumping the country. Nor did he tell how the Grey Go\ eminent had talked about retrenchment, but, for fear of offending the Civil servants and their friends, had done nothing more than talk about it, whereas the Hall Ministry had actually carried the retrenchment into effect, and that in a most thorough and sweeping manner. Oh, no ! it did not suit Mr Moss to tell these things. He contented himself with abusing the present Government for allowing private individuals to purchase the Patatere block, though he kuows full well that the Government have done the very best thing that c uld have been dnno under the circumstances. The Xtw Zcnlmid Times, an opposition journal, admits that it is better that the block should pas* in to the hands of c.ipit'ili-*t-, than that it should ■ emnin in the hands of the natives but Mr Moss, in Ms superior wisdom, condemns the Government. Truly, 3lr Mos* is a fit follower of Sir George Grey, and deserves no better leader. A good story rome-i from one of the country district-*, whether in Waikato or not I would not say. Mr X. is one of the principal supporters of the church in thn di-tiict. j in which he lives. He contributes liberally to the funds, his wife plays the harmonium, aud he sings in the choir. On a recent Saturday he had occasion to go into the Church, and found that it was very dirty. He thought it would not do to hold Divine Service in a dirty church, so he took off his coat and cleaned it out properly. After he had finished he thought he would enjoy a little music, Si> he sat down at the harmonium, and played and sang for a while. Just betore leaving he determined to have a grand Jitiale, so he pulled out all the stops. He was rather too strong for the tremulo stop, as he pulled it out so far that ha could not get it in again, the consequence being a noise, compared with which a cat concert on the tiles is like operatic music. He tried to pul the stops in again, but had to give up the task as hopeless, so he went home and said nothing about it to anyone. On the following day (Sunday) the service was held as usual, and Mrs X. tcok her place at the harmonium, while X. took his place in. the choir. All went well until Mrs X. essayed to play, and, instead of bringing forth music, produced something between the whistle of a locomotive ard the war-whoop of a Comanchee Mrs X. re-arranged the stops and started a fresh, while X. moved quietly away. A second wild, unearthly yell from the harmonium sent X. to the door, which he reached just in time to allow his laughter te explode outside the sacred edifice. The harmonium has since been repaired, and X. says that the next time he plays it, he will deal gently with the stops.

Potatoes were gold on the farm of Little Denny on Saturday at 4s 6d to 63 3d per 100 yards. They were of fairly good quality. Price per Scotch acre about £26. At the collection of rents last week on the Dumorietf estate, Lord Rollo and Dunning gave a reduction of 10 per cent. A similar reduction was given for the preTious half-year. An old farmer's -wife, who had a servant that was notorious for breaking dishes, on one occasion fell asleep in church. In her slumbers her elbow unluckily overturned [ a Bible, when, to the amusement of her fellow-worshippers, she was heard to mutter in a very audible voice— 'Anither 1 bowl,ye hwsie.'