ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XV, Issue 1277, 4 September 1880, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Mr DeLatjtoue's little Bill has been thrown out by the " Lords," and I admire their good sense. The consequence is that Mr DeLautour must forsake either Ilia profession or the great Liberal party. This is a great pity, for no doubt he would ornament both ; but there is no use in kicking against the decision of the " Lords," so he must accept the inevitable, and oonsole himself with the knowledge that he gets about two hundred guineas a year from an over-burdened people and does little or no work for it. A gentleman, who has had some slight acquaintance with the different styles of " white- washing " in vogue in this and other colonies, was appointed legal manager of the " Haunts Me Still " Gold Mining Company. Under his able management, the company was enabled to add very materially to its liabilities, at "which the directors were so much pleased that they recommended their skilful manager to devote his time and abilities to his own affairs, which had .become so complicated that he had found it necessary to extend his knowbdge of the " white-washing " business. A new manager was appointed, who set to work to overhaul the books, when he made the interestisg discovery that Mr "Whitewash had, when selling his own shares in the company, inadvertently disposed of some belon°ing to the company, and that there was a little bill transaction which was not quite regular. Mr Whitewash had given a promissory note for calls due on his own shares, and it had been given to Messrs Hardware and Co., in part payment of an account owing to them by the company. When it was nearly due Whitewash asked the directors to renew xt for him. They told him they would consider tna matter, but he, anxious to save them the trouble, drew out a fresh bill, signed it "J. Whitewash, legal manager of the

Haunts Me Still' Gold Mining Company," stamped it with the company's stamp, and went to Hardware's and renewed the bill. I regret to have to say that some of the directors used language not proper for polite society, and their solicitor made some remark about forgery. At uny rate Whitewash received an intimation from the company's solicitor that, unless the sum of £85, the value of the share 3 sold by mistake, and the amount of the promissory note, was paid within 24 hours the matter would be placed in the hands of the police. He paid the money, not, as he said, that he was afraid of the consequences of not doing so, but because the expenses of defending the action (?) wculd amount to more money. We had a little parson taking lunch at the Cafe, one day not long since. He reminded me of tho song in the opera, " Madame 1' Archiduc, " "such a little man, " but he is little and good. The day after he was here, some of the habitue's were discussing him, and they came to the conclusion that it was a pity that there wera not more parsons like him. As one of them said, "he does not bring religion down to the level of a business, trying to make everyone take a sample of his wares, like most of the parsons about. " I do admire the way in which Auckland people encourage local industry. If a man makes an article hore they inundate him with orders, even though it costs a trifle more than if it were imported. At least, that is what they ought to do, but they say truly, '• we leave undone that which we ought to do. " Some time age an Auckland resident determined to make ''left handed centre bits. " It was entirely his own idea, but he thought he saw a .chanoe of making an honest living. He turned out a good aiticle, Avhich he offered at a fair price, but he affixed a label to thorn on which were printed the words, " manufactured in Auckland. " Those words effectually prevented them being sold, as no one would buy " left handed ceutie-biW unless they were made in the United States. The man did not know what to do, as he had a Javge stock, and there were no buycrc. Knowing that a ' ' rose by any other name would smell as stveet," h^ determined to alter the name of the place where the goods were manufactured. He, accordingly, got fresh tickets printed, on which were the "words, "centre shed, Massachuse f ts," and put them on the ''centre bits" instead of •* manufactured in Auckland." The effect was magical. He sold his whole stock, and orders came pouring in on him faster than he could execute them. Moral encourage local industry ? Certainly not ! " A prophet is not without honour except in his own country," comes nearer the mark. The Parnell Borough Council has passed a resolution that no one shall be allowed to smoke in or on any bus plying in that aristocratic suburb. I believe the " why and wherefore" is that a councillor, who is usually described by the addition of the world " kauri-gum" to his somewhat plebeian surname, is tbe proud possessor of, or rather I should say is possessed by, a wife who has so stronga repugnance to the " fragnant weed" that she would like to make importing it a capital offence. "The grey mare is the better horse, " and so the councillor had to use his utmost endeavour to get the bye-law carried. Talk about a free country and religious toleration ! There is no such thing, if a man is to be prevented smoking on the box seat of a 'bu«. That slippery fish, the Pyke, created a most disgraceful scene in the House of Representatives last Saturday morning, refusing to sit down when ordered to do so by the acting Chairman of Committees, or rather sitting down and rising again immediately afterwards. Mr. Pyke is not an admirable character, as a politician I mean as he has belonged to the Conservative, the Liberal and Middle Parties, to each in turn, but neither long. He is a very awkward follower, as, just when his vote is of the greatest importance to the party to which he last attached himself, he goes off at a tangent and joins another party. Pyke is not a very inappropriate name for him, but I think Eel would be even more suitable. Most of our Members have returned from the Empire City, to the button-hole and abuse of their friends in the Civil Service, on account of the reductions — so large on the Civil servant's salary, but so small on the Honourable Member's honorarium. It may be taid that the reductions are at the same rate in both instances, but I think that, inasmuch as the reduction in the amount of the honorarium affects the incomes of the members for only a quarter of the year, leaving them free to make their full incomes for the other three-quarters of the year, while the reduction in the amount of the salaries applies all the year round, the .Civil servants suffer four times as much as the members, One more word about that honorarium, and then I will " stop, never to go agaiV on that subject until next session, at least. I would suggest that one of those members, who are so fond of asking for returns, should ask for a return showing the amount of honorarium taken away from Wellington by each member, after paying expenses. One of our members for the city would, I think, bring away about £130, as he is a model man, who neither smokes, nor drinks, nor plays billiards, and, when he wants a little relaxation from his ocdnows labors as a legislator, he goes to the Good Templar entertainment, where he is placed on the seat of houcr, the " admired of all beholders.'' St. Muxgo.

The question of the election of a coloured Bishop was indefinitely postponed in the Methodist Episcopal Conference Cincinnati by a vote of 229 to 139. Charles Lamb, one afternoon, in returning from a dinner party, took his seat in a crowded omnibus, when a stout gentleman subsequently looked in, and politely askad :' ' All full inside ?" "I don't know how it may be, sir, with the other passengers, " answered Lamb, "but that last piece of oyster pie did the business for

" James, did you divide your paper of chocolate with your brother?" "Yes, certainly, mamma ; I ate the chocolate and gave him the motto— he is so fond of readng, you know." A little lad, named George M'Dermotfc, was brought before the magistrate at the Thames (England) Police Court the other day charged with begging. In answer to the magistrate the little fellow said that he was fifteen years of age and belonged to New York city ; both his parents were dead, and he had for the last three years kept himself and a little sister, who was now six years old. A short time back ho shipped on board a vessel from New York on a voyage to the United Kingdom. On the ship getting to Antwerp he found she was not coming on here or going back to the United States. He then got a ship which brought him to London, where he bad now been for nine days trying iv vain to get a ship. He had no money, and had walked about all the time, living as best he could. He was very anxious to §ret back to his little sister in America, and if lie could manage to get to Liverpool he felt sure of obtaining a berth on a ship going back to the United States. Inspector Benson said he believed the lad's story was correct, and the magistrate gave the poor boy sufficient to pay his fair to Liverpool out of the funds of the Court,