ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XV, Issue 1276, 2 September 1880, Page 2

EC HOES FROM THE CAFE.

Mr\pous scerm tetegtet the fact that he "fiiontioned some time ago, that his was 'the "most aristocratic constituency in the Colony. '' In the amendment which he pioposcs to make m the 1 representation Act, he cuts One Tiee Hill and Kemuera, the aristocratic paits, oft' the electoral dihtnct of Eden, and joins them to Onehunga. I suppose he considers it but right^that the aristocrats should be represented by' Sir George 'Maurice 0 "Koike, and the plebeian residents of Eden Terrace arc certainly more suitable constituents than they for the " poor boyr"- - - - - - - - - Tiu'eo railway accidents in a3 many weeks, and two of them resulting fatally ! This is my sad. Surely, these accidents might be prevented, if more care were exercised ! There is rather a curious thing in connection with the accidents — that one occurred on eacii branch of the lailway, the first on the Onehunga branch, the second on -the main (W^-ikatp) line, and the third on the ' "Waikomiti branch. The Board of Education have been reducing their expent.es, and have proceeded in a Very considerate manner. They reduced no salaries under £100 per annum, reduced those over £100 aud under £150 by 5 per cent, those over £150 and under £200 by 7\ per cent, and those over £200 by 10 per cent. This seems much more fair than the making of an uniform reduction from all salaries, large or small. The Board decided also to reduce expenditure by amalgamating offices, and, therefore gave the Treasurer notice to leave. I think that one of the other officers can very easily perform the duties of treasurer, in addition to hie own, as the present folder of the office has found time to attend to prospecting for gold, purchasing oil-springs,' sitting on the directoi ate of an Assurance company, and othef little matters, all of which take up a u;ood deal of a man's time and attention, 1 suppose he was thinking of one or other of these out&ide matters the evening he left his safe unlocked. Un ortunately the very evening selected by a thief to break into the oih'ce. One day a mendicant, with a smooth stone in his hand, went to a cottage, knocked at the door, and asked the woman who came in response to hia -knock if she would let him go into her kitchen and would lend him a pot, as he wanted to make some stone-<-oup. The woman, curious, no doubt, to see how the man would make soup with <i stone, led him into the kitchen and put a pot full of -water on the lire for him. The man put the stone in the water and stood watching until the water began to boil. Then he asked for some salt and some pepper, both of which were given to him, * and he put them in the soup. Pretenbly, he saw Some vegetables m a dish, so he asked for some of them. They also wem given to him and were put in the pot. Casing his eyes around he saw ;> flitch of bacon hanging- from the ceilmsr, (*o he asked for a piece of th.it, again the woman granted his request, <iud a piece of the bacon was tran-leired to the pot. So the stone-soup was m ide. I was forcibly reminded o this stoiy by reading the evidence taken by the Local L du>tries' Cominibsioners. There are i srioat number < f industries which could (,to( ording (o the evidence, be Ccirued ov veiy .successfully here, provided the raw article, it not locally pioduced, be admitted duly— fi co ; ,i heo-Ay piotective duty of from 30 to 100 per cent be placed on the m mill icturod ai'iole when mipoitel; the nte of washes bo icduced, and Govern. ne t give> every manufacturer a handsome bonu-. Really, a\ lth all th°se ingredi"iiK, a veiy good stone soup might be made. The cenoroMty of some people is quite refreshing. One yen! lonian wioto to the Commissioners recommend'ug the introduction of the Liguiian bee. He afterw.uds wrote on the Mine subject, and generously offered to go for that bee himself, pro\ided his expenses to and from Ameiiea were paid, and '• a fair amount of roinunei.ition." What is the Ligiuian be-j hko? I> it at/\ill like the spelling- bee ? It -o, Ido not" want to see it introduced. Still, if it is so very desirable that it should bo introduced, I will sacrifice my loalin-rs and go to America tor thai bee (pio\ided, of ceuisp, it.-, sting is attended to before I put it in my pocket), if my passage to and fio is paid, and will not ask for a " iair amount of lumuuewtion." Mi John Lamb Ins been getting" pretty well abused lately i or his contiibution to the evidence oflVied to the Commissioners, m whirh he ewpiessed his opinion that 2s per d.iy i.»r single men ,aud 3s per day for m.inicd men vvic quite high enough wages for the Gowinrneiit to give the "unemployed, ' iustiMd of Cs us at present. .Six sh.llings pi r day for " Government stroke" is, perhaps, rather too mudi, but does it not .strike } r ou, John that two .shillings it, ititho- too little? The f.ict of the matter is that j'ou care nothing for ihe " unemployed, ' or their wives and families. What does it matter to you though they suffer, provided you get "cheap labor." " Biulb in their little nests agiee," but cleiks in a bank do not always do so. Once upon a time there were two clerks in a Bank in a certain town Mr A. was a member of an old aristocratic family, while Mr B. belonged to the " shoddy aristocracy "of the town. One day they had an altercation. Both " let their angiy passions iise," in spite of the warning of the poet that they should not do k>. At last Mr B. told Mr A. that he was a liar. Mr A. immediately gave him , a Sliip on the mouth, which tent him reeling across the office. Mr 0., the accountant, is a friend of the Ji. family, so Mr B. went whining to him and said, '• Please, sir, Mr A. hit me." "Ask Mr A. to come here," s-iid Mr C, " and then come back yiurself." When both were in the aocouutant's room, he asked Mr A. if he had struck Mr B. He said that he had, and told Mr C. why he had done so. The latter gave both clerks a severe lecture, and then made Mr B. apologue to Mr A. for having called him a liar, and made Mr A. apologise to Mr B. for having called him a liar. So the Beer Tax has been reduced from sixpence to threepence per gallon. It is a great pity that the Government were not properly supported, so tint the original amount might have been retained, as there is no doubt that it is a fair mode of raising taxes, and that it does not come upon the woikingman ,but on the uppar and midelle classes'. The latter, ;is a rule, buy their beer in bulk or in bottles and the brewer charges and gets the amount of the tax in addition to the price of the beer, while the former generally buys a pint at a time, and the hotcllceepers here have found that they could not raise the price of a pint of "colonial." I generally get my beer a halfpint at a time, as journalism will not * 'run" more than that. Con, If -the tax on a gallon of beer is threepence how much is it on half-a-pint ? The German Society here advertised that a lecture would be given on "The Philosophy of Dunks" or as ifc might have been. "Drinking," as my German is rather rusty Ido not like to he. positive. I -was aot there, because, in the first place I "was not invited, and, in' the second place, I could not have understood the lecture if I had been. I should like to have heard f hat lecture, (piovidcd, of course, if I could bate understood it) beoause I should like to know where the •' philosophy 1 ' of diiuliing comes iv. I drink when. I feel

thirsty, or when I meet a friend, or when a friend meets me; cica&en Ijwa tired of doing nothing, but I have not got the length of drinkingj orxphilo^Wphio reasons. I may as well say fcttmee toat I £m opposed to it, and' "HihaVl will never do it unless -I want ./an' excuse to drink and I' cannot find a better one, for as Shake-spearfr&ayß^'A.bad-extfuseis bett«rTth«n( none." By- the -bye, -I do not think Shakespeare ,«aidt that^.. but > a remark always carries more /weight if you .father it on a great writer! like Shakespeare or „ .» . • . • St. MtTNoto.]