ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XV, Issue 1251, 6 July 1880, Page 2

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Tiik other d.iy I was talking to a man mlio used to be a digger, ;uul mlio lias tra\elled through neaily e\ery country in tlic world. He was sneaking about Utah, which he says i.s bleh-ed "with a magnificent climate and splendid soil. The Mormons .ire a very sober, industrious people, geneially addicted to hoarding money. When a Mormon gets a dollar he keep's it, and "trades/ for anything he ■« ants. In all piobabihty this habit Mas acquired in the early da>s, when cabli mas a very sca-icc commodity. My informant told me that on one occasion he and five other diggers marched through a valley in Utah, SO miles* long and Mith flourishing little townships every few miles, but they could not get a 20-dollar gold piece changed in that \ alley. At one of the tow ns they went to a theatre, and saw a man going iv with his wife on one arm and a pumpkin under the other to pay for their tickets. How DeLias Mould stale if anyone offered him a pumpkin for two tickets at the Theatre Royal. I was rather amused \\ itH a copper token which came into my possession recently. On the obver.se are the words, " Edward DeCarle and Co., Auctioneers, Melbourne," and on the rever.se, "Tassinania, Anno 183.V Evidently Messrs DeCnvlc and Co 's London agent supposed that Melbourne was iv Tasmania. Perhaps it Mas in 1855. Last Friday evening I took i»y children to tlic Lome-street Hall, to hear the Belli infers. They are certainly clover, but m several ol tlio pieces played 1 cwld not detect the an set down on the programme. MrSantley, whose name, isj

probably Jones or Smith, sang tolerably well, but the rest of the entertainment was not high-class. It terminated with a farce, which was not a " dainty piece to flay before a queen" or any other lady, t is very strange that some people can* not see the difference between fun and vulgarity. There seems a probability that the reclamation < ontract, of which the dear departed Dempsey made such a mess, will be properly carried out. Mr D. Fallon, who has given such proofs of his ability on the Kaipara and Te Awamutu sections of the Railway, has been informd that his tender for the retaining wall has been accepted. That is all that we require, if the wiseacres, known as the Harbour Board, will use their dredge and deposit the mud taken up by it, inside the reclaiming wall. The Sunday-school teachers and scholars have been having a gay time this week, celebrating the Raikes Centenary. One very admirable feature in the celebration was the good feeling shown to each other by the members of the various Protestant denominations. For instance, in St. Mark's Anglican Church the children, belonging to the Sunday-sohools of all denominations were gathered together, and were addressed by the Rev R. Burrowi (Episcopalian), the Rev. G. B. Monro (Presbyterian), and Mr J. S. Wilson (Wesleyan). The last-named is the goody-goody proprietor of the Herald. His address was so long and so prosy that he put most of hia audience to sleep, but, no doubt, he meant* fwell, poor dear. One parson, in /*fe«ifrntg a Sunday-school sermon, made a welcome addition to the known history of Alexander the Great. He was speaking about the influence that children have on their parents, and said that on one occasion a friend of his (of Alexander's, not the parson's) was congratulating the conqueror on his unprecedented success. Alexander pointed to his little boy, and said, " There is the real conqueror. He rules his mamma ; h^s- mamma rules me; and I rule the world." When I was at school I did not know the Greek word for "mamma," but perhaps the parson in question has been to school since I have. The Grey Ministry were evidently believers in. the proverb, " Discretion is the better part of valour," for it seems that they had determined to dispense with the Agent-General and his departmanfc, but abandoned their intention for fear Sir Julius Vogel would return to the colony and turn them out of office. Poor creatures ! they might have known that there were plenty of politicians in the colony able and willing to turn them out of office, and keep them out. The 1 intelligence of the destruction of the Kelly Gang has been received with mingled feelings of relief and satisfaction that "their lawless career has been brought to a clo-e— of regret that the Victorian police should have had recourse to such a diabolical plan as setting fire to Jones's Hotel, when they knew that an innocent man, an unfortunate platelayer, wa** in the hotel with Dan Kelly and Hart However, we must not bo 100 hasty in passing judgment, as there may have been reasons which rendered their action and necessary of which we know nothing. Some years ago the late Mr J. 3. Macfarlane was going South in one of thG largft side* wheel mail steamers which used to take the San Francisco mail to Dunedin. The captain said to him, " Wall .'stranger, what's the trouble now?" •' Another lawsuit," said poor J. S., and he proceeded to tell the captain all about. "uh !, " said the captain, "I read the yarn in the papers, about the young man stealing your logs. If that had happened in the States the young man would have had the top took off his head." " Wonderful!," said- J.S., " Those people are a century ahead of us." What might have been a very serious accident occured near Newmarket station on Wednesday morning. What the Railway people call the Waikomiti and what the general public call the Whau, or the Lunatic, train reached Newmarket at the usual time. There tha engine has to go from one end of the train to the other, the plan adopted being what is called "tailroping." The engine is uncoupled from the carriage, and then attached by a rope. The points are turned, so as to allow the engine to get on the loop line, and as soon as it is on it, the points are turned back, and the carriage run along the main line, moved by the engine on the loop. The danger is that the rope may not be taken off at the ricrbt moment, and thac the carriage will be thrown off the line. This is just what happened at a very awkward place on the top of the embankment. Fortunately, the carriage was not thrown down the embankment, and it was put on the line again after a delay of three quarters of an hour. Talking about the railway, I beg to offer the settlers at and beyond Te Awamutu, my most hearty congratulations, on the completion and opening of the line to that important ceutre. It is a great pity that more of the money borrowed to construct railways, was not spent on payable lines such as the Waikato line, and less on unproductive political Hues in the Southern province*. The Chinese and the Russians have begnn to fight, and the first two engagements have resulted in victories for the former. lam not fond of the Celestials, but I am still less fond of their opponents, so I hope that subsequent engagements v ill have the s;ime results, and I am disposed to think that they will. Both nations have any number of men, but the Chinese have plenty of money, whereas the Russians are heavily handicapped

with an immense national debt. Our dear friend Mr. Stewart, who has a "great big D " and a " great big E" after his name, has been causing trouble to the unfortunate people of Whangarei. After having destroyed the main thorough-fare of the township, for the purpose of constructing the railway, Mr. Stewart stopped the work, so that Whangarei has neither a road nor a railway. Poor Whangarei ! Wise Mr. Stewart, D.E.! . By the Illustrated London Fries to -hand by this mail, I see that Mr G. A. Sala has returned to England after a trip through America, and I was glad to see his "Echoes of the Week "in their old place once more.- It may be out of place foy an insignificant scribbler at the other end of the world to make remarks about the writing of one of the masters of the profession of letters, but it seems to me that his holiday has imparted new vigor to his pen. The Star's correspondent in London has got rather mixed about the people and geography of Auckland. For instance, he speaks of Mr Frank Phillipps. as Mr John Phillipps, and he refers to the late Major Wily, of Mauku, as "your fellowtownsman." However, I forgive him, for having sent " Bobbie Lowes " epitaph, which I give below :—: —

A NEW PEKR. Mr Lowe, having been raised to the Peerage under the title of Viscount Sherbrooke, h.is retired from the representation of London Uni\crsity. The II hifrhall Rrvmv published the following epitaph to commemorate the event : — Here lie the bones of Robert Lowe ; "Where he's gone to I don't know ; If to the realms of peace and love, Farewell to happiness above : If haply to some lower level, 1 can t congratulate the devil. Major Atkinson made a splendid speech in the no-confidence debate on Wednesday evening. In the course of it he asked MrMacandrew where he was going to get the jßOney ft keep his eu,

gagements in London, had the loan not been floated. "By the issue of Treasury Bills," said Mr Macandrevv. "Yes," said Major-Atkinson, " that is very like the resource, 'The Lord will provide.'" It strikes me that Mr Ma.candrew got more than he bargained for. St. Mungo.