ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XIV, Issue 1220, 24 April 1880, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

I cannot help admiring Mr D. H. McKenzie, Chairman of the Auckland Harbour Board. I beg his pardon, I should have said Captain McKenzie, as I believe he was at one time the skipper of a firewoodbarge, or dug-out, or something of that sort. Anyway, whatever be his title, I cannot help admiring him. At the invitation of the Minister for Publio Works, (by-the-way I notice that the Waikato Times is the only paper that gives Mr Oliver's official title correctly, the other papers call him the Minister of Public Works) Mr or "Captain" McKenzie waited on him with regard to the reclamation works known as Dempsey's contract. He took with him another "ancient mariner, " who is a member of the Harbour Board, Mr Jakins, anothsr member, and Mr Brigham, the modest and retiring Secretary of the Board. Altogether, it was essentially a deputation from the Harbour Board, and yet they expressed *n opinion diametrically opposed to that of the majority of the members, and the worthy Chairman naively stated at a meeting of the Board, that ho informed Mr Oliver that the opinion he expresssd was his own private opinion. I used to consider D. H. McKenzie honest and straight forward, but this is rather " too much joy." The only reason I can assign for the change in Ivw is that he took the "iGrej-feyer',' and was made a head-centre, pr Chairman of the Central Committee, and £ would suggest the propriety of appointing an inquirendo dc lunatico. Apropos of the title of "Captain," I heard a story about Captain A , who used to be a prominent member of the Northern Club. He went into the Custom House one day, to get a licence to shoot game. A number of business men and clerks were at the counter passing entries. Satisfied of his own importance, he pushed through them, and said, "I want a gun licence." The Customs Officer, a little man, looked up at him, and said,- "You will be attended to in your turn," and went on with his work. When it came to Captain A 's turn he said, "Now sir, what can I do for you ?" "I want a gun licence." "Licences to buy firearms upstairs," said the little man, and weniron with his work. "I want a licence to shoot game," said Captain A . "Very well," said the officer,^ "I will give you that. What name ?■ " Captain A- — " was the reply, with a look of wonder that anyone should require to ask his" name. "Were yon christened by that name ? asked the little mam The captain had to descend from his stilts and give his Christian name and then he got his licence. Another singular application was made to the Waste Lands Board at its last meeting. A Mr Wilson, who had taken up 15OacTesoflandat Waikawau under the Homestead 1 Act, wrote to the Board, informing them that a son had been bora to him, and applying for permission to take up an additional 30 acres of land in ■ his son's name- The Board instructed the secretary to reply, congratulating Mr Wilson on his happiness, and expressing the willingness of the members to become Godfathers to the boy, but regretting their inability to grant the 30 acres of land until the little stranger should make a personal application for it. The officers of some of the large public companies have had a good deal of night work lately, preparing their half-yearly balances. The accountant of one of the largest companies authorised the messenger to procure refreshments for the clerks, who were working overtime. He, accordingly, ordered" coffee, and as some of the clerks preferred it, beer. When the accountant saw 4s 6d on the bill for three bottles of beer, which had been drank by seven of the clerks, he struck the item out. saying, '• Let those who drank the beer pay. for it," They did so as they did not wish to break the company. Let me give the Waikato farmers a piece of good advice. If you feed your cattle on mangold wurtzel, do not give them the mangolds as soon as you take them out of the ground, but After they have been kept some time, as the saccharine matter accumulates, and they are more nutritious (Between ourselves, Mr Editor, I may say that I know, as much about farming aa my coach-man who never cracked a whip knows about horses, but I got this " tip" from an experienced old farmer, so I air my erudition, to let the farmers see that I know something about farming as well as scribbling), I was glad to see that the Editor of the Waikato Times gave the Herald such a good dressing far stealing, his news. I have noticed this style of robbery going on for some time, and drew attention to it in my " Echoes" the week before last, but the compositor who set it made a mess of the paragraph. The other day the thiet was robbed. The Herald had a garbled account of a"meeting, at which they had no reporter and which they had no business r to report, as it was of a private nature. The same evening the Star contained a report of the same meeting, clipped from the Herald, blunders and alll. The Dunedin people seem to be iv high dudgeon at the acquittal of Butler, charged with murder. Of course, at this distance we can hardly form an accurate opinion, but it does seem that the evidenoe, though only ciroumstantial, was very strong ; and I feel pretty sure that had Butler been charged with any but a capital offence the jury would have found bim guilty, but they naturally hesitated to send a follow creature into eternity so long as there was the least possibility of a doubt of his guilt. However, he has admitted that he is guilty of burglary, so if he is not found guilty of murder he will be punished for that crime. Mr Speight, M.H.E., has been fooling the eleotors of City East again. He fooled them properly last year when he persuaded them to return him as their representative, instead of a man whose shote he is rtot worthy to clean. I teg Mr bpeight's pardon, for I believe he is fit to clean Mr Clarks shoes. He fooled ,'them again on Tuesday evening. He the Herald people that he intended to /address the electors on Tuesday evening, wad the Herald contained a paragraph notifying his intention. He did not contradict the itatement, and though no advertisement of the meeting appeared, \ people merely ascribed that to meanness and went np to the Mechanics' Institute, only to find that they had been fooled again. All I say is, serve them right. It must havd been very pleasant on board the barque Wellington, which came into Auckland harbor on Tuesday last, as the following extract from the log will show: — "The pumps were constantly attended to, and there was no time to do anything else. On Wednesday the special jurors in J. C. Young's caae expressed, through Mr Brookfield, a wish to be exempted from serving on Friday, as it would be St. George's Day. Judge Richmond said he would grant their request if any of them could tell him who St. George was. None - of them could do so, so the Judge said that the Court would sit as usual. It seems that Hughes's case is not yet finished with, as Messrs S. Coombes and A. M» Williams are summoned to appear at the Police Court to-morrow (Saturday) morning, charged with attempting to influence a common juror and a grand jnror respectively in favor of Hughes, These charges amount to what in vailed "embracery, 1 ' a very serious offence. David Henry, a money lender in Melbourne, waa some time ago found guilty

of this •ffenoe, and sentenced to undergo four years' penal servitude and to pay a fine ef £500. He did not live to finish his sentence, the imprisonment and the disgrace killing him. * '- St. Mmsrao.