ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XIV, Issue 1211, 3 April 1880, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

There was a curious collection of passengers by the " City of New York on Wednesday last, including Bishop Redwood, Pastor Chiniquy, some Mormon converts, Sir A. Kenuedy, and a lady belonging to one of the religi -us ordeis of the Roman Catholic Church I beg the lady's pardon for not placing her first, but I think one may be excused when writing about such an extraordinary and mixed lot. However, I hope they will have a pleasant trip. Mr Hurst addressed a few of the electors of City West and a mixed audience last Tuesday evening. A number of men, whether electors or not I cannot say, went to the meeting with a full intention of interrupting the speaker. lam not, and I never have been, an admirer of Mr W. J. Hurst, either as a gentleman or as a politican, but I do admire fair play, and that is just what Mr Hurst did not receive on Tuesday evening. However, the interruptors over-reached themselves mcl defeated their own object. Many people who condemned Mr Hurst, now sympathise with him, as he did not get fair play. Young Scott the pedestrian has arrived and intends to walk 112 miles in 24 hours. What is the advantage to be gained by performing feats of this sort, beyond the pecuniary advantage, which is only temporary ? I know a number of young men who walued something like 100 miles in i days, daring the' Easter Holidays, and were benefited by the excercise, but Scott's walking will injure his health, and shorten his life. The Correspondence columns of the Herald have lately been filled with letters about Mutual life Assurance Societies. The subject is getti q rather monotonous to the Public but the letters are gladly received by the "Herald 1 ' as they are paid fur as advertisements. Happy thought ! could not the Editor of the ' W aikato Times' get up a correspondence thut would be paid for. 1 would suggest that Mr dimming 1 write a letter, statin!* 1 that Messrs Dickeson and Burnetts beer is not >?ood, and setting forth the " why and wherefore. " uf course, Messrs Dickeson and Burnett would reply, shewing that their beer was fir.st- class and tint Mr ' umming's beer was bad. Afew judicious editorial notes would help matters on, and I think a most lucrative correspondence might be made of it. There was a great crowd atSt Paul's Chuich last Sunday evening, when the solols of two of the anthems were sung by Messrs Baker. Mr Nelson had to return the compliments by ajoing to Messrs Baker'sperformanceattheTheatreonMonday evening, but he did not read the biographical sketches. 'ihe Waikato farmers must not talk about heavy crops when anyone from j Howick is within hearing. In that district a farmer put in twenty-two acres of wheat. His crop amounted to forty bushels, of which eighteen were dock-seed. The annu-il volume of the Transactions of the New Zealand Institute always contains some very interesting papers, though some of them are so scientific and so technical as- to be of little interest to ordinary readers. Among the latter are Captain Brown's papprs on Coleoptera, which always draw iorth the remark, "more bugs." A gentleman, who wa<t going 1 to England M)inc time ago, asked the ship's carpenter to make a box to hold his volumes of rransactions. The carpenter tool' up one of the volumes and look at it, and innocently a-ked the gentleman," Are these nice readin; because I has two of 'em, as was given me by the mate of a ship I ailed m"? A gentleman was telling me the other day that he was asked by a clergyman of a country church to get up a concert in aid of the church, leaving space in the programme for two pieces provided by local talent. One gentleman will sing a comic song, and another will play a concertina. I want to know, you know, if this is in one of the Waikato towns. I was very glad to hear that Mr R. H. Jlattray has passed the necessary examination of L.L. 8., which will shortly be conferred on him. He was one of the first in the Colony to obtain the degree of 8.A., and now he is among the first to obtain that of L.L. B. I think that we Aucklanders have good reason to be proud of "our boys." It is a good thing to own house property in a good position ; but it is necessary to look after it yourself if you wish to make anything out of it. A friend of mine owns some house property in one of the Southern towns, but he has received no rent for the past nine months. He wrote to his agent to ask the reason why, and by return mail received an account showing that the rents had been received all right, but that the money had been expended on alterations and improvements, and, as the result of nine months' work, he showed his client £10 in debt to him. One of the items of expense was for turning one of the houses wrong side in front. The agent receives 2 V per cent, for receipts, and 2\ per cent, for expenditure, which may, perhaps, account for the results. A gentleman was sitting at breakfast, and was supping 1 ponidge, in a country j hotel. The landlord's daughter would not take her porri Ige, so her father said to her, " Take the ponidge, my dear. It will make your hair grow." The little girl looked across the table at the gentleman who was taking porridge, and whose head is very much like an overgrown billiard ball, and said, "Papa, that gentleman is taking porridge, and his hair dees not grow." Apropos of billiard ball^, I heard a good btory about billiards the other day. In an up-country town in Australia there lived a German who played so good a game of billiards thafc he could give any one else in the town thirty points in a ; hundred. One day while he was sitting in the billiard room of one of the hotels, a resident of the town walked in, accompanied by a stranger. He turned to the German, and said, " Here is a gentleman who will play you a game of billiards." " Very veil," said the German, and, taming to the stranger, "I suppose you vill dake de usual dirty boints." " I tuppose to," Said the stranger. "Very veil ! you dake de boints and break." He did break, and he went out, without giving the German a chance of playing. " You do blay a very goot game of billiards," said the German. " Yes," said the stransrer, " I am acknowledged to be a good playe". My name in Roberts." 44 Very veil, Mr Roberta," said the German, " l?ou can po avay und tell your vnends that, in a little town in Australia you met a man who gave you dircy boint-> in em honrdred." I heard a veiy good story about Bishop Cowie the other evening. Soon after his arrival in Auckland he went up North, to look at that portion of his diooese. When returning, he asked a gentleman to pilot him an fur as Omaha, as he wished to get the steamer for Auckland there. l he gentleman aacompanied him to Omaha, where they were hospitably

entertained by two of the settlers. The Bfc amer was expaoted to arrive about 3 o'clock in the morning, but about i o'clock the gentleman who had accompanied the Bishop, heard the steamer's whistle, so he went to the house in which hie Lordship was staying, and aroused him, telling him that the Reamer had arrived. "No you don't, said the Bishop, "I'm nrt going to be sold in that way again." The gentleman assured him that the steamer really had arrived, so he got up, packed his clothes, and went down On the road he explained his incredulity by saying that he had been aroused half-an-hour before by the daughter of his host, and that after he had pressed himself the young lady informed him that it wa^ the first of April. The Bishop and his friend went down to the beach, and found that the steamer had arrived, but that it was late, and hud just come from Auckland, and was going North, so his Loidship found that for the second time, he had been made au April fool. St. Mtrsrao.