ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XIV, Issue 1188, 7 February 1880, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

There has been a nice little row between two of the " devil's own." I might tell you about a partnership which lasted three whole days; about the two partners giving instructions of an exactly opposite nature to clients and clerks; about a "fine old English gentleman," who looks down on the " 'orny-handed sons of toil," running \ down the street after one of the " great unwashed," to bring him back to the office, because the other partner had seat him away ; about one partner laying an information against the other, as he was in grievous bodily fear ; about the other partner saying that he would, the ' dear old gentleman " ask a few questions about his antecendents, and about a final rupture on the subject of which name should appear first in the style of the firm. Yes ! I might tell about all these things, but I will not, as I believe that Mr Justice Gillies will have to settle the accounts between his former " confreres." I was very much amused the other day, on going to the Cafe to lunch, to see one gentleman sitting eating his, minus his coat. As was remarked at the time, though he had been at the office all morning, that, evidently, was the hardest work he had done that day. One evening last week I saw the " night-blooming cereus "in flower. As it is not a very common plant I will endeavour to describe it. It belongs, I believe, to the cactus tribe, and, judging by the specimen I saw, is of a " sprawling" habit There were two long green stalks, about four feet in length and an inch and a-half in circumference. At the end of I each of these stalks were three or four leaves, each leaf being about 12 or 15 inches long, and about three inches wide at the widest part. From one of these leaves grew a light green stalk, about six inches long, at the end of which was the flower. It was a very pretty creamy- i white, bell -shaped flower, about five inches long, the outer leaves of which we r e line J feathers. In the centre was a delicate stalk with 12 small arms, each about half an inch long spreading out from it, which was surrounded by a great many stalks with, apparently, a small quantity of pollen on each. The only objection to the flower is that it lasts only one night, being faded and dead before the sun rises. How many of our human projects are, like the " night-blooming cereus," beautiful to look at, but, like it, never see the light of day. Ha ! I must stop, for lam moralising, and the weather is too hot for that. Judging from the number of doctors here, Auckland must be a very ' 'sick place. According to Bretts' Almanac, there were twenty doctors practising in Auckland in 1879, and the cry is "still they come," as three or four new ones have arrived since the Almanac appeared. Doctors are a luxury I cannot afford, and, if I were ill, another luxury beyond, my means. I would do as an old man, whom I knew, did the other day, go to the Hospital, When recommended to call in a doctor, he said, "oh, if I call in a doctor, he would soon find out that I had a bit o' money, and keep mo sick as long as he could, I'll go to the Hospital, and the folks there '11 make me well as soon an they can, so as to get rid o' me." I think the old man " got hold of the right end of the stick." Wilkie Collins is the author of "The New Magdalen;" Mark Twain, of "The New Pilgrim's Progress;" J. W. Mallock, of "The New Republic," and the "New Paul and Virginia;" but who is the author of " The New Judas lacaviot h" I will make a problem in algebra of it, say, Let X. — the author of " The New Jiidas Iscariot," and let Y. = his quondam friend. X. and Y. lived near together, on, let us say, the banks of the Waikato Y. required some money to develop Ids farm, no, X., being- a man of moans, and his intimate friend, lie borrowed £1000 from X., securing him by a. mortgage on liih farm. All Avent Avell for home time, until X. and Y. quarrelled, and the interest rose from eight per rent., Avhich Avas the rate that Y. was paying X., to from ten to fifteen per cent. Then X. determined to take advantage of a flaw in the mortgage, and foreclose. Shortly afterwards, X\s son went up to V's house. He shook hands with Y. and members of his family, bat chatting pleasantly for some time, and stayed to dinner. After dinner, he sat talking for a Avliile, and then said he must go, or he would lose the tide. He bad farewell to all in the house, except V., who walked down to the river to sec him htart. He shook hands with V., said good bye to him, and then, " Oh! by-tho-bye! I haA^e a letter for you. You can read it at your leasure." Y. took it home Avith him, opened it, and found it Avas a writ from the Supreme Court, issued at the instance of X., as mortgagee. V'& friends and neighbours, uX>on hearing the story, christened X's sou, " The NeAV Judas Iscariot. On Tuesday week a gentle-aan residing at Ponsonby gave a masquerade ball, which was in every way a splendid success. A8 I was there as a guest, I cannot, of course, give an account of it ; but I can tell of a little incident of which I was told by a lady who was not at the ball. A young gentleman, resplendent in a gorgeous dress of blue and scarlet and gold, danced with a young lady, talked to her, danced with her again, promenaded 1 the verandah with her, and danced again [ with her. He was " very hard hit," and did almost everything but ask her to marry him. At midnight, when everybody unmasked, he looked at the face of his "enamorata," and saw — a married lady, who, though not old enough to be his mother, was old enough to have a daughter among the guests. Since the night of the ball, a number of young gentlemen have had a very " barefaced " appearance. They shaved their faces in order to suit the characters they assumed for the evening. Talking of characters, reminds me that, at the >kating Club's fancy dress ball in the Choral Hall, Mr Justice Grillies went as " A gentleman without a character." Of course that was all very well for Mr Justice Gillies, but if an humble individual like myself had given in his name so, people would have remembered the proverb, "There's many a true word spoken in jest." Wo had a grand sacred concert last Sunday evening, which was a great treat. The singing of Messrs Amery and Campbell was especially good, and it was with difficulty that the immense audience (the Choral Hall was crowded) could be restrained from applauding. Of course, some of the "uncou* quid" are scandalised at the idea of a concert on Sunday, but many, like myself, woald rather pay 2s to hear a good concert than Is to hear the ordinary church choirs murder the chants and hymns, to say nothing of bad sermons. " Have you seen the comet?" is the question in everybody's mouth just now. I suppose that the good people (and the bad people too, if there are any) of Waikato wju sco it fully better thuu wo do iv

Auckland, on account of being a degree further South. Mr Lambert, who affixes the letters F.R.A.S. to his name, has written letters to the papers telling all he knows about the comet, which is nothing. He evidently has not heard of the Eastern proverb, " Never tell all that you know." By-the-bye, can anyone tell me whether it was Byron or Skakespeare who wrote the poem of which I give you a few lines — I wish I were a comet, and scudding through the s>ky, Oh ! Shades of Mahomet ! I'd make the planets fly! I'd seize upon the dog-star, and, if without a collar found, To earn my half-a-dollar I'd drag him to the pound. The lines have a Byronic ring, but they may have been written by Mr Lambert, F.R.A.S., who knows so much about comets. Who can tell? "A prophet is not without honor," &c. Sx. Munoo.

Definition of Drunkenness. — During the hearing of a case in Which the various stages of drunkenness were being considered yesterday, one witneHS informed the Court, that he had known the offender for a long time, and had frequently seen him " lying down drunk, but on the occasion tinder discussion, he was suffering from an attack of * standing up drunkenness,' and he wont onto explain the effect of this species of intoxication was to 'paralyse his legs.". — Lyttlcton Times. Tuk new Pure Cash System now being initiated by G. and C. will certainly prove a benefit to the public. It has been a great success in Sydney and Melbourne, and when strictly carried out the customer who buys at an establishment where the goods are marked low to ensure a rapid sale must be a great gainer. G. and C. sell their drapery, raillinary, and clothing at such prices for cash as gives the buyer the advantages of a shareholder in a co-operative society, without the risk of being called upon to bear a portion of the loss should the year's business prove unsatisfactory. Garlick and Cranwell will aim to retain the confidence which the public have hitherto shown them, and are detirmmed to give the pure cash system a fair trial ; whether they gain or lose the first year. Country buyers on remitting cash with order will be supplied with goods at co-operative prices ; just the same as though they made a. personal selection. Furnishing goods, such as carpets, floor cloths, bedsteads, bedding, and general house furniture, the largest portion of which is turned out at our own factory, will be marked at the lowest remunerative prices, and a discount of five per cent, will be allowed to those who pay at the time of purchase. G. &C. having realised the entire value of their stock during their late cash sale, the present stock is Nh\V AND CHEAPLY bough i. An inspection is invited. — Gariick AND Cranwell, City Hall Furnishing Arcade, Queenstreet, Auckland.