A LONDON BEE STORY. [From " Quiz."]

Waikato Times, Volume XIV, Issue 1181, 22 January 1880, Page 3

A LONDON BEE STORY. [From " Quiz."]

I had an improved back-yard. 1 went through a seed store, and bought a sample of everything that would grow in this climate. The result was a perfect tangle of flowers and things, from an over-grown sunflower to a forget-me-not. Mrs Brick top is very proud of our garden, and while gushing over it the other morning a happy thought worked its way under her back hair. " What a delightful thing it would be to have a hive of bees and raise our own honey, as well as everything else." I have always thought that woman inspired ever since she convinced me that i could not do better than to marry her. This was an original, bold idea ; a happy thought. I promised her a hive ol bees, and went to business with a lighter heait and firmer belief in the genuineness of home comforts and amusements. I bought a hive of honey-bees and brought it home with me that very night. It was one of these patent hydrostatic, backaction hives, in which the bees have peculiar accommodations and all the modern improvements. It was a nice little hive, none of yonr old-fash-ioned barn-size affairs. It even had little winders in it so that the bees could look out and enjoy themselves and see what was going on. Both myself and Mrs B. were delighted, and before dark I arranged a stand for the hive in the garden &nd opened the b»y windows so that the bees could take an early start, and get to business by sunrise the next morning. Mrsß. called me honey several timea during the evening, and such sweet dreams as we had. We intended to be up early next morning to see how our little birds took to our flowers, bnt a good halfhoar before we probably should have done so we were awakened by the unearthly yells of a cat, Mrs B. leaped from her downy couch exclaiming : " What on earth is the matter with our yellow 'Billy?'" The yells of anguish convinced us that some thing more than ordinary was the matter with him, and so we hurried into our toilets. We rushed out into the back-yard, and, oh ! what a sight met our astonished gaze ! The sight consisted of a yellow cat that appeared to be doing its best to make a pm wheel of itself. He was rolling over and over in the grass, bounding up and down, anon darting through the bushes and foliage, standing on its head and then trying to drive its tail into the ground, and all the time keeping up the most confonnded yowling that was ever heard. " The cat is mad," said Mrs B. affrigh'ed. " Why shouldn't he be ? ( the bees are stinging him," said I, comprehending the trouble. Mrs B. flew to the rescue of the cat and the cat flew at her. So did the bees. One of tho bees drove his drill into hei nose, another vaccinated her on the chin, while another began to lay out his work near her eye. Then she howled and began to act almost as bad as the cat. It was quite an animated scene. She cried murder, and the neighbours looked out from their back windows and cried out for the police, and asked where the fire was. This being a trifle too much, I threw a towel over my head and rushed to her rescue. Ik doing so I ran over and knocked her down, trod upon the cat and made matters no better. Mrs B. is no child on a wrestle, and she soon had me under her, and was tenderly stamping down the garden walk with my head, using my eais for handles. Then I yelled, and some of the bees came to her assistance, and stung me all over the face. In the meantime the neighbours were shouting, and getting awfully excited over the show, while our servant, supposing us fighting, opened the basement door and admitted a policeman, who at once proceeded to go between man and wife. The bees hadn't got at Mrs B.s tongue yet, and she proceeded to show the policeman that 1 abused her in the most shameful manner, and that I had bought a hive of bees on purpose to torment her into the grave. I tried to explain, but just then a bee stung the policeman on the nose and he understood it all in a minute. He rubbed his nose aud did some official cussing. But as this didn't help matters any, he drew his clnb and proceeded to demolish the patent beehive. The bees failed to recognise his badge of office and just swarmed on him. They stops him wherever he had no clothing, and some places where he did have it. Then he howled, and commenced acting after the manner of the oat and its mistress. He rolled on the ground for a moment, and ran out into the street, shouting " fire." Then the bees turned to the people who had climbed upon the feqfle to see the fun. Then they had some fan. Windows went down, and some of the neighbours acted as if they thought a twenty-inch shell was about to explode, 3y this time a fire-engine had arrived, and a line tf horn was taken through the ham

into the back-yard. One of the hosemen asked where the fire was, but juBt then one of the bees hit him behind the ear, and he knew. They tamed a stream upon the half-wreck-ed bee-hive, and began to "play up" with one hand and fight the bees with the other. But the water had the desired effect, and those bees were soon among the things that were. A terrible crowd had gathered in front of the house, but a large portion of it tollowed the flying policeman, who was rubbing his affected parts and making tracks for the stationhouse and a surgeon. This little adventare somehow damped onr enthusiasm regarding the felicity of making car own honey. Daring the next week we wore milk-and-water poultice* ardently, but not a word was said about honey, and now Mrs B. has gone to stay a week with her mother, leaving roe and the convalascent tom-cat and the tickled neighbours to enjoy our own felicity.