UNKNOWN

Waikato Times, Volume XIV, Issue 1180, 20 January 1880, Page 3

UNKNOWN

Tbb match was arranged npon the following baois: Mr nnu ofiered to bet Mr Banks that VI s Banks could keep ab«n. lately silent longer at a tingle utret-b than Mrs Bonn, vr ankß said he did not know much about Mr* HuunV ctpacity a» a talker, but he tdt certsru that Mrs Hanks couldn't hold her tony ne for ten minutes, exce ting when she wa asleep, and even then she alway talked a little, oit was agreed to mate a trial. Hunn to pay for a silk dress if *ts Banks spoke first, and Bank* to pay f «r it if Mrs uun spoke first. When the match was proposed Mr Hunn suggested that the oontectauts should go into training; hut Mr fan^s protested on the ground that if Mrs BanJ-8 got to trying too hard to k*ep quiet it would ill her. The oonterat took place in Mr Hunn'B dining-room, the t^o ladit* ritting opposite to each other. W hen the rignal was given Mrs Banks was in the mid«t of Some remarks about the cheapness of calico,' but the broke off short, and by holding her hand over her mouth resolutely, suppressed a powerful impulse to finish the sentence. here was profound silence for ten minutes ; and then virs Hunn started to gay something, but remembering he self she turned it off by pretending she was olearing her throat. Mr Hunn claimed the etakes upon the ground that it was fonl, but Banks objected, hen Hunn, with malignant indignaty, started a dia. cassioa with Banks about spring bonnets, and as they talked it was noticed that Mrs Hunn had to hold on tightly to the chair to restrain herself, while Mr» an s was absolutely pale from supresaed emotion. bis having failed, Banks tv ned the conversation on to the infamous price of butter, with a diabolical purpose f* strike Mrs Banks in the weaker; point it soon became apparent that the strain upon the nervous system was terrible. Violent twitching* were observable about the muscles of her month, and banks felt qoritiA to * Bwm^ot.thatilio waflsoiu^

Ito win ; b*t Vw ' auk* Mddealy ara»e ftad po»n«ed the dinner -tabla half • adoien timfc vigorously with her fi 4, and this neemod to give wicH relief t« her feeling* th*t she twcame quite oalm again. Mrs IJunn, meantime, had her finger** in her ears. •• he recognised that an her only hope. • brief di-oasston on the hired-girl question, of the incapacity of eervaatw, and of the awful dimensions of their wages followed; but both contestant* h«ld out, although Mrs Hunu rn-hed to the oupbaord,and getting apiece of paper, wrote on it— ' I must aoream ! Is acreaming allowed ?' Banks said it wasn't, and Mr t'uon burst it to a extravagant eulogy of v rs Hnnn's present servant-girl, with Mich effect that Mrs Hunn became partly hysterical. ut she wioceeded in holding her tongue. »d then Hunn, with unparalleled brutality, actually expeci orated right'upon the carpet Mr« tlunn bounded fiom ncr chair and shook her nSt at him, and when he liughed, i-he flew round the room at the rate of sixty knot* an hour, dishevelling her back hail and behaving i wildly, hunn thought nhe would succumb ; but -he didn't emit a sound. Hankn' little Harry wa» playing in the yard, waiting for his parents to oome out and when he saw him, a haj.py thought struck Kanks. He went out I and paid Mrs Jones, next door, a dollar to •pauk Hany. and to do it in front of the window wheit ~\n .Tanks sat. When "^ r ' f unn siw 'rs rise ight up and nh'irjre through the nde door upon Mrs ooes. he felt that he might as well hrow up the npouge; but as vrnJovet* ucceeded in fretting away before the inhjroant mother reached her, and as Mh> H found that t>he could expendher fury by indulgence in frantic pantomime, expren • nive of her purpose to annihilate the entire .lonea' family at the earliest practicable moment, tank* began to feel lent confident. Half-an-hour had expired, and both contestants, although eviden'ly suffering acutely, held out bravely. Mr n unn Haw that a single bold st ike would give the victory to .either one side or the other. c rang the bell on the table. Mrs [ Huim's chambermaid ome in, he was a good-looking '•hambermaid, raher un1 commonly goud-100 ing, and Mrs hunn. 1 was— well, homely. Ah the girl entered. It unn, brute and ruffian that he was, vent up to her, put bis arm lound her araiit and ki^ed her. vt r8 unn ge* vvhiie about the lips nn(^ ber feet beat a wild tattoo upon the fl.ior. I hen unn hacked the ohambermaid under the chin, and kUed her again. v< ith one bound rs ><uLn leap d between them, and hurling the girl aoidu *he s reamed : 4 ut of tliirt house this instant, you huzzy, or I'll break every bone m your hody!' and then turned to Hunn, nhe daid : 'v\ ho wants your old silk dress, tnyhow V »hen hhe followed the chambermaid from the room in a fury. Banks gave in— lie had lost ; but as he went home he ft hispered to ' unu : ' You've w«>n, old fellow, but I wouldn't be in you place for the amount of the uationai debt.— >ew York Weekly.'

Thb new Pure Cash System now beta? initiated by G. and C. will certainly prove 4 benefit to the public. Ik has been a *reat «uoce«s in ydney and Melbfurre, md when strictly carried out the customer who buyrt at an establishment where the •^ooda are marked low to ensure a rapid sale must be a great gainer. G. and C. sell their drapery, millinery, ana olothing a such prices for oa»h as gives the buyei the advantages of a (shareholder in a co>perative society, without theri-kof being j»lled upon to bear portion of the locs -hould the year's buHiue«s prove unsatisfactory. Ga-lick >»nd Cranwell will aim to retain tho confidence which the public have hitherto shown them, and are determined to give the pure cash system a fair trial ; whether they gain or ioue the firot year. Country buyern 011 retaitting ca>b «vith order will be supplied with goodu at ijo-operative prices ; just the same aa chouph they made a personal selection. Fumibhing goods, suon as carpet*, floor 'dotha, bedsteadß, bedding, and general tionxe furriture, the largest portion ol which is turned out at our own factory, will be marked at the lowest remunerative prices, and a discount of five per cent, will be allowed to those who pay at the time of purchase. G. & 0. having realised thft entire value of their stock daring their late cash s»le, the present ntock i« mw xm> vkbt cheaply BOUGHT. An inspection is invited.— Gaelics and < banwbll, City Hall Furnibhing Aicade, Queen-street, uckland.