TESTING THE DOCTOR.

Waikato Times, Volume XIV, Issue 1178, 15 January 1880, Page 2

TESTING THE DOCTOR.

The New York World tells a good story of a medical action in a Kentucky Court. A doctor named Hoyston had sued a farmer named 3?9ter Bennett for an account long overdue for attending Bennetts wife. The doctor proved his number of visits, their value acoording to local custom, and his own authority to do medical practice. The counsel for the defence told his client that the physician, had made out his case, and as there was nothing vherewith to rebut or offset the claim, the only thing left to do was to pay it. "No," said Peter; "I hired you to apeak to my case, and now speak." The lawyer told him there was nothing to say ; he had looked on to see that it was made out, and it was. Peter was obstinate, and at last the learned gentlemen told him to make a speech himself if he thought one could be made. "I will," said Peter, and proceeded forthwith : — "Gentlemen of the jury. You^ajjdl is plain farmers, and if we don't stick together these 'ere lawyers and doctors will git the advantage of us. i ain't no lawyer nor doctor, and I ain't no objections to them in their proper place ; but they ain't farmers, gentlemen of the jury. Wow, thiß man Royston was a new doctor, and I went for him to come and doctor my wife's sore leg. An' he came 'an put some salve truck onto it, and some rags, but never did it one bit of good, geutlemen of the jury. I don't believe he doctor, no way. There is doctors as is doctors sure enough, but this man don'fc cain bis money ; and if you send for him, as Mrs Sarah Atkinson did, for a negro boy as was worth a thousand dollarB| he, just kills him and wants pay for it.'* " I don't) 1 ' ihundorod thodgotor»

" Did you cure him ?M? M asked Peter, with the slow accents of a judge with the black cap on. The doctor was silent, and Peter proceeded— " As I was say in', gentlemen of the jury, we farmer?, when we sell our cottou, has got to give vally for the money we aak, and doctors ain't none too good to be put to the same rule. And 1 don't believe this S«n Hoyston is no doctor, nohow." The physician again put in his oar, with " Look at my diplomas if you think I am no doctor." "His diploma!" exclaimed the newfledged orator with great contempt. " Bis diploma ! gentlemen, this is a big word for printed sheepskins, and it didn't make no doctor of the sheep as first wore it, nor does it of the man as now carries it. A good newspaper has more in it, and I pint out to ye that he ain't no doctor at all." The man of medicine was now in a fury, and screamed out, " Ask my parents if I am not a doctor !" "I asked my wife," retorted Peter, an' she says as how she thought you wasn't." <4 Ask my other patient?," said Dr. Eoyston. This seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back, for Peter replied with a look and tone of unutterable sadness : — "That is a hard sayin', gentlemen of the jury, and one that requires me to die, or to have powers as I'vehearn tell ceased to be exercised since the Apostles. Does he expeot me to bring the angel Gabriel down to toot his horn before his time, and cry aloud. " Awake ye dead, and tell this court and jury your opinion of Koyston's practice ?" Am Itogo to the lonely churchyard and rap on the silent tombs, and say to them as is at l»st at rest from physic and doctor-bills, "Get up here, yon, and state if you died a natural death, or was hurried up some by doctors?" He says, ask his patients, and, gentlemen of the jury, they are all dead. Where is Mrs fteazley'p man, Sam? Go ask the worms in the'' graveyard where he lies. Mr Peace's woman, Sarah, was attended by him, and her funeral was appointed, and he had the corpse ready. Where is that likely Bill as belonged to Mr Mitchell? Now in glory an' expressin' his opinions on Itoyston's doctoring. Where is that baby girl of Harry Stephens' ? She are where dootors cease from troubling and the infants are at rest. " Gentlemen of the jury, he has eaten chicken enough at my house to pay for his salve ; and I furnished the rags, and I don't suppose he charges for making of her worse, and even he don't pretend to charge for curin' of har, and I am very thankful that he never give her nothing for her innards, as he did his other patients, for somethin' made urn all die mighty sudden — " Here the applause made the speaker sit down in great confusion, and in spite of a logical restatement of the case by the \ counsel on the other side the doctor lost, and Peter Bennett won.