THE GOOD BOY AT THE PICNIC.

Waikato Times, Volume XIII, Issue 1150, 8 November 1879, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE GOOD BOY AT THE PICNIC.

The good boy comes'home from the picnic cleanly discouraged and bad]y mashed. Indeed, he is oftener brought home dead. The bad boy has a whooping old time trotn tbe very outset, and returns home chuck full of figs and candy and enthusiasm to go again. When the good boy's dad has made up hia mind to take the family to a picnic on some shady island or distant shore, the boy doesn't jump up and declare that he won't w«ar vyhite pants, or that he is bound to go barefooted, or that he must have half a dollar m cash and a revolver. On the contrary, the good boy's chin is at rest ; he i3 m his mothei's hands, and he trusts her with all arrangements regarding hia sacred person and property. Before leaving home the good boy is thus solemnly addressed by his devoted mother, and the • address' is accepted, adopted, and filed by his respected father, who was a boy once himself : —

, ' Now, then, young m&n, we're going to a Sund. y Echool picnic, and I want to say a few words to yoa. If you lose your hat on the cars, I'll box your ears till they ring. If you don't stay right with me and your father, I'll lick you before all the fo ks ! If you sit on the grass and stain those pants, you know whaS you'll get ! If you dare go m a boat, go iato the water, shoot a pistol, climb a tree, wreslea hoy, or tease your father for money to buy candy or lemonade, I'll take your hide off and hang it on the fence the very minute we get home !"

That's the music the good boy has to face when he starts for a picnic, and if he doesn't start out V7itb smiling face and buoyant step he may gefc his ears cuffed before he reaches the depot. If any one has co stand up m the cars it is the good boy. If there are any cinders flying they settle on the good boys white pants and hat and lodge m his eyes. If any one falis flat on the platform or into the mud at the getting off place it is the good boy, while titie bad boy, who has com© all the way on the roof of the car, haviug had dead-loads of fun, meets with not the aliglueat accident as he ascends. On the contrary, he is almost certain to find a basket of luncheon which nobody claims, aud he runs hi 3 chance of piecing up gold-headed canes, bottes of ginger-ale, pocket-books aed watches on his way to the grove. The £ood boy's father, on reaching the grove, buys himself a bottle of lemonade to get the dust out of h^s throat and follows it with a dish of ice cream to cool his system. The good boy himself isn't supposed to have any dust m his throat, or any system to cool off. If he i 3 very thirsty he can drink water— provided his mother don't catch him at it. The bad boy skias up a tree, and hangs by Ma heels, finds a bird's neat, eats slipperyelm and Jane berries, and the pood boy must &it on a oraoker-box aad watch he family unbrella. The good boy's mother braces up with a draught of currant wine and bis father 6 kea some ginger ale to prevent sun stroke and then retires to a shady spot to smoke a cigar. If the good boy feels like squandering the oldfashioned penny lie has had m his '"bank" for seven ion<s years, one lout from his mother freezes him to rha-u crackur-box so fast that a pony couldn't draw him off. The bad boy has at least fifty, cents to spend as he plea3es. He rows n boat ; he noes m swimming ; he tiirows stones ; he swings on a wild grape vine ; ho climbs hius :md rocks and slides down banks, vnd although som« deacn with a face as loag as the ga«ret; window m a deserted tannery, predicts thas h« will be killed OJL drowaed lie is ohe iiv -lies:, oae of the lot vheu the party m-ikos ready for the homeward trip Instances have been known where a good boy evaded his mother's eye, and ■rmuxht a popcorn ball, but it always ch< k?l hiui. if > ; e dared to climb a tree he fell and broke his arm. If he got hold of pemuts or lemonade he was made dn awfully sick. If he wont near the water h« was browned. A. good boy's parents should go and takH a heap of comfort at a picnic. The good boy himself might a9 f w;'-U take a seat m a graveyard and try to be hi\ py with a broken psnny whistle. Up to tho time of taking the car 3 for home he may have behaved himself iv such a nriu <er as to win a word or two of prasa from his mother, bub he is sure to jaw hi 3 hat, break a suspender, lose his handkerchief, or do uorne.hing oa the way home to induce the oM lady to remark as she reacnes home and removes her bonus;, i ' Now, young man, you step cut hsre* Things have come to a pretty pass it we cau'c take you anywhere with us without your cutting up so as to disgrace us for over ! Stop that blubbering, sir, and let me say that the louder you holler the. Jidrder X shall Uck V