SKETCHES IN NATURAL HISTORY.

Waikato Times, Volume XIII, Issue 1089, 17 June 1879, Page 3

SKETCHES IN NATURAL HISTORY.

THE BABY. ' What animal is this ? « This is a baby, He is now about threo years old, and at the wickedest point of his earthly career.' 'What country does the baby mostly inhabit ?' 'He can be found m every inhabited country of the globe, the same as mosquitoes and boils.' « Can they be tamed ?' « Yes, quite easily." After a little judicious discipline, they cease to struggle and become subservient to the will of man,' ' Does the baby eat grass ?' ' Yes, or anything else. They swallow pocket knives, thimbles, buttons, spoons, or any other obfeot a little smaller than a teacup. If offered milk, they seldom refuse it.' «Do they graze during the day, or only at night?' 'They are always grazing, paying not the least heed to the hour. When not actually eating, they give utterance to a peculiar cry. Strong men often jump out of bed at midnight m the coldest weather when hearing this ory.' 'What meaning is attached to this cry ?' « Men of the deepest thought have agreed that it signifies to wake up the neighbourhood and have some fun.' « Of what benefit to mankind iB a domesticated baby?' ' They are of no earthly account for the first few years, but by-and-bye they car slide downhill on a cellar-door and carry articles oxit of the house and trade them for a wooden sword, or lose them m the grass.' 'Do you know of any instance where the baby has attacked the household and killed and injured anyone?' ' Such instances have been related by such eminent naturalists as George Francis Train and Texas Jack, but we don't put much faith m them. However, if the baby was maliciously and persistently provoked, there's' no knowing what it might do, ' ' Are they a healthy animal P' < No, on the contrary, no druggist could make enough profit m a year to buy him a pair of overshoes hut for the presence of the baby m every" household. There is hardly an hour m the day that the baby does not demand peppermint, paregoric, milk, sugar, cordial, cod liver emulsion, ipecac, or something else costing money.' * What machinery is made use of to compel the baby to take a dose of oastor oil ?' There are several patent machines for 'the purpose, but most people follow the old rule of knocking him senseless and getting the dose into his mouth before he 1 oaovers.' 'Is the baldheaded baby more domestic than others ?' 'Not a bit. He kicks around after the same fashion, and has even a worse time fighting flies and mosquitoes.' ' What music do they seem to prefer ?' • A brass drum is their first choice, but they have a heavy leaning towards the sound of the stove handle knocking the nose of the pitcher \7lth fho emptyings ]n it,' Thia jjs all' about |iho habjr, Take anpther look at him, for next week we sluill write of % stpne other reptile.