MRS SNYDER WILL HAYE A GARDEN.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 776, 7 June 1877, Page 2

MRS SNYDER WILL HAVE A GARDEN.

Mrs Snyder, -when she removed into a new house, insisted upon having a garden. What, was; the use of a bit of ground if it was-allowed to run to weeds. Mr Snyder objected. Weeds, he said, wer-3 intended by nature to fulfil a destiny ; a.nd destiny was just one of those things whioh oight not to be trifled with. Mrs Snyder said destiny be blowed. .Destiny had nothing to do with cabbages and artichokes and spring onions, and the like. Mr Snyder didn'J; want to pay five shillings a-head for growing his own cabbages, when he could buy them ready grown for three pence, or get the o3casional loan of a few, and told Mrs S. that if she allowed herself to speak thus lightly qf an order of things upon which the grand foundation of the universe I had been built, where did she expect to go when time threw up the sponge and declaimed the end of all things was come iucl tiding gardens. Mrs S. said she didn't want to be chaffed. It was unmanly. What she did want and what she would have waa a garden. What a foeautitui thing it was, she thought, for one to be able to cut their awn vegetables. Mr S., who would continue his chaff, said it was much

more beautiful to cut other people's. Foolish men grow vegetables, • and wise men cat them.

Then Mrs %.commettced:4hedcfrn^ teara and thisV settled the affair. \ Mr S. can stajid almost ■nSything from a woman but tears. v |[<3 gs,ye consent, and Mm S. dritjd up like . dew ;dro])3 before the morning sun. She said a garden would cost a very little money, and it would be sttch a saving not having to ruriacrbsa the road for every carrot or turnip or bit of par3ely which mighb be wanted m the house at any moinont of the - day. All she Wanted was a 1 spade and a rake, and a hoe, with a dozen 0r ...50 of: potatoes, for ..seed, and a few roots and plants'. Of course she ' must have a man m at tlie first go off to clear the weeds. and dig up the ground. After that she would be üble to do every thing herself. Then it Avoiild soon be seen what a saving: was to be effected m the housa expenses,

Mr S. got a man — cheap. He only asked eight shillings a day and his meals. And he would throw no obstacles m the way of two pints of beer a day. He was evidently a man who had seen scientific days. For when Mr S. came home late m. the afternoon of the first day upon which the man had entered upon his engagement he had only accomplished, as much digging as would be inclosed m a space eight feet long by two feet wide. . He said the soil was so sandy that no sooner had he thrown up a spadeful than, the hole filled up immediately. The sand *waa fine enough for hour glasses. Nature abhorred a vacuum. Thab was, he supposed, why he had, |so to speak, made no headway." Mr S. thought the work : would not be likely to give any profitable return m the shape of garden produce. He recommended the man to make an

impression an some more fa vocable part of the. ground. Then the man, resting on- his spade, asked Mr S. what was his opinion on the immortality of the soul m connoetion with the geological period, anterior to the Flood, and at a time when the tertiary formation did not exist. Genesis made the world not quite six thousand years old, while Darwin calculated it at more than twice the number m millions. Huxley had struck an average and had come to the conclusion that there was some uncertainty m the matter. JPor his part (the gardener's) he was of opinion that science had nob' satis, factorily solved the problem, owing to exact want of a knowledge as id the power and extent of the mag- . nefcic forces. Mr S. expressed some, anxiety to know whether eight shillings a day, meals aud beer thrown m, was sufficient reward for a man with so much science ia him. Whether m fact it would not be better that ho should pursue his favorite studies and allow a man pf less science and more muscle to take his place. The gardener said not afe all. Mr S. was a man of intellect, and he would sooner work for him at less money than for anyone else, merely for the superior in&rination. he was " likely to obtain. The immortality of the soul was a grand theme. He had long been of opinion that a systsra of hydraulics was the moat proper thing* for irrigating the land. Tue annual overflow of the Nile was nature's hydraulics on a large scale. Was ib not possible by a system of damming to produce an overflow upon a smaller scale 1 On the fourth afternoon, upon Mr S returning home he found tha man had kept ou trying to get the better of nature's abhorrence of a vaccuni, but ho had not cleared' as much ground as would have grown a moderate siz3d,,bed of radishes, notwithstanding that Mrs S had doubled his allowance of beer and had acceeded to his request for kail broth, tha gardener baiag- a Scotchman. Mr S. exhibited the front portion of hi 3 boot while pointing m the direction of the garden gate.. The hint was taken, and the next morning Mr S.' received a bill for £-i being; 4 days labor at 8s per day, and one, week s service at the same rate, ia the place of proper notice. This bill was accompanied by a memorandum, stating thaa unless the amount was paid before noon, anno domirii, and of that day's date, recourse would be had to legal process. Mr S. paid the demand, and upon reckoning the cost of having a garden which produced nothing, found he had outlayed as much *money as would have kept his household m spring and summer vegetables for three years and some months over. Upon pointing out this, circumstance to Mrs S , she declared, with much emphasis, that it was not her who wanted a garden. That she had felt - an aversion to it from the first. She had only, m the most distant manner, alluded lo the subject, because she thought Mr S. wanted a garden ; but didn't say so, becaus& if it proved a failure, as she was quite sure of, he would throw the blame on his wife m this as healways did m everything else.

Mrs S., after the departure of the gardener, thought she would do a litfclo horticultural business by her own unaided efforts. She sowed her stock of seeds, more than half of which did not come up. Those that did, excited the cupidity of a horae - who one morning 1 took a mean adjj vantage upon finding the garden gate left open. He went into the whole with a relish that a man goes into a salad. Then he made horseshoe holes over the beds with his hoofs, and then he went away m search of other garden gates. And,

this Was another most ble&secl opportunity for Mrs.S. to say it viras all Snyder's fault — every bit of it.