FEATHERS AND CHAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 748, 3 April 1877, Page 2

FEATHERS AND CHAFE.

(From an Auckland Correspondent.)

April 2

SCRIPOLOGOB

The scrip mania has got the p^opla bud. Wherever you go you hear of nothing else but jtfoaiiataiaris. I asiced a poiioomau iv Qaeju-^- reat whore lived, and ho replied abstractedly, while gaudily over at the Insurance Buildings', ' Moanat liari-street, tirsthou.se right hand side.' The y >ung woman at Water*' who usually supplies me with my frugal till'ju, and who had heard clv oust mini's tulle of n >fchiii^ else but scrip, asked ma if I'd 'take

some Moanabaiari soap.' I really pity that young woman. The rnon obony of her existence must be frightful. All diy long there is; dinned into hrsr ears nothing, but? ' Moanataiatis,' an I the items, ofj|iiei' bill of fare. When she seek£ii|c" virtuous couch her slumbers ruust be'i troubled with confused visions* b£ ' roast beaf for two,' ' sj'ip foe one,' and ' Moanafcaiaris for all.' B.ur, after all, she is no worse off ihan Waters himself. He was sending the juvenile cashier for change, and he said 'Tuoinis, get change for two Red Q teens — linean two E! ; notes,' Kurunui Hill United'aW now the rage m small scrip. Tenders were opened on Saturday for the purchase of 2,580 unallotted" shares, and Mr Thomas Russell was the puachaser at £l a scrip. They: were quoted a few days ago at 18s, but they jumpe.l at once to 26s when> it was known that Tom Russell was the successful tenderer. Waitekau'ris' are also m favour, and there is ati adjoining claim, the scrip of \ybicii is now selling at Is, which 'will soon be heard of.' 1 This is tbe straight tip There are many stories going about-. A lodging-house-keeper goba straight tip, bought Moanatiiaris at £1, and sold at £20. A man who owned a goodly lot of them had instructed his solicitorto file a declaration m Bankruptcy, and went 'into the country' to escape the maledictions of creditors. He re r burned after a few weeks' absence, was taken by the hand and congratulated by all his acquaintances, and his creditors offered to lend him more. His shares had gone up from I3s to £21 10$. A man who was clearing out for Sydney, said to his landlady, ' Well,' I owe you for two months' board, take those ten Moanataiaris and cry quits,' and she took 'em, because there was nothing else to get, but m the distinct assurance that there were to be no calls. She got £15 from the first dividend, will probably get £40 more within a fortnight, and the shares are worth £200. SHINPIjASTEItS. S )me ingenious correspondent has b^eh struck with a brilliant idea for providing funds for the county councils. He thinks they ought to be authorised to issue scrip, which should be mad.; a legal tender. H? nas not yet taken out a patent, for the invention, but he deserves to be immortalised. Surely the fulfilment of prophecy is nigh, and the milleuium is not far off. Of course, ths thing will not begin and end with county scrip. We shall develop -tin .■scheme, the butchers and bakers will pay for their cattle and sheep and flour m scrip,' and will receive ie m exchange from their customers, and by.and-bye we shall pay the interest on the national debt m the same way. In fact, when I come to think of it, we do this already, only we dignify the shinplasters with the more euphonious name of 'debentures.' Wheu the system has been extended into commerce and trade, the Waika.to Times will receive scrip from its subscribers and advertisers—[Not if we kuow it.— E l W. T.J— crooked ways will be made straight, and the land will be full of peace and plenty, I suggested to my butcher the other day that we should begin the experiment;, but he said he preferred to wait a bit and see how the thing would work. ■ I don't see why the Waipa County Council should solemnly hang the Act when they can make things pleasant by adopting the scrip plan, CLAIMS TO VOTE. :. You have been urging the Waikato settlers to register their votes, and very properly too. The Waikato will never exercise its due influence m the political world' until greater individual interest is shown m the electoral franchise. I remember glancing over the statistics, and finding that out of a population of nearly 5,000 there were only 800 registered voters. There oughb to bet le ist double that number. A.s to the mode of registering- a claim to- vote, it is exceedingly simple, and anyone with an original turn can knock •some fun out of it. A fellow down here got a form the other day, and found that, respecting his property, lie was required to give < name or description of same.' He wrote, m i haudwritiug that was wonderful to behold . 'M/ nous hove bin bilt five year. It as 2 rumes supstandshul bilt & laud cleered & sjed with taters, would sell same for £50.' THE NATIVE QUESTION. The article m your Thursday's issue has been well spoken of here. You have hit the right nail on the heal. When you hear Native Office officials speaking of Tavvhiao as ' His Majesty,' the 'old gentleman,' and sj forth, it is time to ask what it is all coming to. I heard a story the other day which may serve to illustrate the position. A rank rebel from the Kiag country visited some relatives amongst the Ngapuhi, aud the latter were astonished at the swell islmess of his attire, his watch and chain, and his new saddle. They wanted to knnv how he m. mage I it. He said they wore ' kuare.' °Why didn't the/ set up a King for Ngap>ihi, and then the Government would give them all these thin^j for no l hi ng. a THE POSTAL CARD.

The pimny postal cuvl has bseu turned to many new purposes. Many Highway Board ool lectors now use it foe notices. But it is also behvf übiliz-j.l us " a new way to pay old dobts." In one ewe a b tarder who had left, iiad iv a Hb of abstracttion omitted to pay his little bill re-

aressecl ft, him -i itpp^re ,oth er f co f v %s ' he #3i bat ; W^» S > li?l^f he^i^)r libel, ges, Ibises comas- of bains? too s-nanj* But a young lady m Hobson .street has got into hot water wifc h ; h<*^ yvmsttm df r^ostar card . lbli % !*>rds, « m eefc ; .me at the ol ( place at seven' o'clock to-mo.uw YANKEE CO£SESJPQNIJENTS • You^eraetabep what^a howl there was at the^acbteints' which Stanley -^priddtt /.'Daily. TeTe-g*apK.^'-plP::'fiw;i'ex^oS'feV! m Central r . deacpibing how he tried to civilize. thS niggers with elephant rifle .bullet^, and: the Snyder. According to fci^vmfccedutit, \& fought a-regala* j3eßfe.S'tff pitch ed battles, and ,was&. kind' ;of Napoleon on a small scale. Ifc is now reported by the authorities at- Zanzibar that the letters are p&re: romance,- concocted ■for.. the delectation, of a sensationloving public,,th^t oot ,a single negro has been killed, and that all the indignation .expended upon the intrepid, Americaahaij-beeii wasfced. If this* r betrue, aianchausen'rhiist henceforth take a back seat, and Stanley will rankvas the> champion liar of the world.

.OOMSBIItt-sfa BUSINESS AND PLEASURE. . * . tnirik . ypn described ia the WaiKAi'd'TiMEJg; How' a collector for a Southern Bjrough, finding that the ratepayers alwayscontrived to dodge him," dressed himself as a Maor i, and m that unrecognizable disguise, succeeded m hauling m the- -rates m a manner, that aatouiahe I. every body. The • same idea was ad>ptei by the Brisbane police to stop the illicit sale of spirits to aboriginals. But a bobby at Kuoura has carried off the palm". He. was sent round m private clothes to detect the sly- jtov sellers, and it came out m the clence afterwards that he went on a regular spree, and to avoil snspicion, kissed the buxom shinty-keep. u-s, danced with the girls and genet-ally enjoyed himself immensely. Of cmrse,. « when you are m Roma,' .. fee. But what a jolly life police informers mast lead at Kumar* ! Tie miral of the story is that you mast never trust a p >lice>nan farther than you can see^ him, and riot so far as that sometimes... THE M. O. • When the Marquis of -tforwinby visited We3tport great preparations were made ' for his reception. A'rtongst other things there was a ball, and "the committee thought trie affair wouldn't go off without a master of ceremonies. Trinir iluice fell upon an 'M.O. of great fame known as "Teddy Clem.neus." Che ball- cams, and His Exjelljiicv was about to lead off with the Lady Mayoress, when the watchful Toddy 'bawled out' top lady "an I bottom gent, swing m the center. At a subsequent stag 3 , the Marquis, who is rather a stoutish personage, did not move forward to bis ' vis a vis' with that alacrity and agility which the sage-eyed Teddy deemed p-oper tO'the occasion, and the iadefafcig ible ' M.C.' 'gave the Gjverner -\ slight push, .-forward. Tua Altrjais frowned, bat Teddy bawlel louder than ever* an I the cud of ir. w.u that the aide de camp scrapped him out of th^p room". AN: IMGENrOUS MONGOLIAN-. Ah Wong, handed himself with his braves tit Dunedin because he could not pay his debts. The th night' of owinjf money which he could, not pay hung like a funeral pall- over the. troubled s.)ul of Ah i Wanga, and he resolved to sacrafice himself on the altar of impeeuuiosity. He might ha«re gone ihrou^lP the Bankauptcy Court, accumjlated a rapid fortune and didd ha > >y and univers.iUy respected ia his b.^d. Bar. Ah W\ng couldn't owe money >md live happily. Ito w mn a / enlightened Christians are there m the .tforldi whose conscience* are as tender as his? Bat even m the hour of death there wa3 a balm for the bruised soul of Ah Waag- being a believer m transmigretion' he promises to pay twenty shillings ia the £' next time he lives.' Bufc insn'fc there jtut a little difficulty here ? If Ah Wang's soul goes into a new body he won't be the man that owed [the money, but some other fellow ; r and the identity of the crediiors will also be loat. This view of the subject, is enough to recommend it to any impartial debtor, but as to thp creditors they may not see it m quite a favourable light. a candidate's proessios of y paih. Mr Travers, who was lately elected to Parliament for a Wellingon constituency, was lately iiddrossing a public meeting, where he said that he felt it incumbent upon him to rebut some disgraceful insinuations that had been thrown out as to his not being a strictly orthordox Churchman. He then went onto say that he was a member of the Church of England, his father was so before him, his mother was aid. her father was a clergyman who oenpied two hywigs, and receive,! a considerable amount of tithes,and Q n Jly (Mr Travers') wife and ohildnea were members of the same church Here, of course, he was enthusi, astioally cheered, and pronounced to be the genuine article. But I beg to point out a serious omission fro-n Mr larver.s' profession of faith. I would respectfully suggest that he ought to have told us what religion

hisgrandfatHe)<?^fo%^e'c^rconsin belonged to,,a}id whether Jiis^gre^ great-grandfa'Ehcr'.' /iyhVwaVV tailol, didn't once, ma Uo- sjj.su rkj^, forraCatholic ..Euiqsfeii/i .E videii^ ,i th'6 r time is nofe-'far .fcff r Mieniicandidates for the fepvesTOtives will have to pass a Board of Theological S bud i«3, ' and . will 'Mpvft tq be all right in' theif' Chatecnfeni.'

: A : TYPpGItAPaiCALSB.CifiNDBR..;rhy. : Those printers are responsible for many literary. siri6, arid^may' expect a warm corner ; iii, the. next world. A clergyman " 'named' Harris of Westmoreland street," Portland Place liendori;' 'advertised' l a'H&ciiure, ' 'and on the appointed evening '.tine'' Build-- 1 ing was crammed to suffocation. ■ It was understood as announced m the bills that the lie.v gejfitlemaU 'would deliver" |, discourse on' the aspects o^E Hel]^ Tr andthisjw v as,enQtigh to, |] If jj^pK" thptpublic. Th» lecturer ' introducejd/his subject- by saying : — Mr GhairJai^rij-.ladies and gentiemen, I fearsome mig'conceptibri I 'jhas gone' abroad' as to tßd subject of' my dUr course ..this, evening. .'I tno\^"np|;hing> about the "^ituatayy aspects. of Hell-, except .that the climate is exceedingly tropical.