The Waikato Times.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 728, 15 February 1877, Page 2

The Waikato Times.

Equal and exact justice to ail men, Of whatever state prpeisuasion,-i*eligious or political *# # # , # # Here shall the Presi the People's right maintain, - 'Unaweit by iah"uence'and unbribed by ga'n. TM URSDA Y. i-FEBRUAR V 15 1877

The want of bridges m a scattered country district such as the Four Counties, and' the difficulty m getting these works, where of * more •than ordinary magnitude, done by 'road boards is a strong argument m favor of the creation of local bodies such as the county councils, which looking at the matter from a more exteuded local point of view, and possessing the means of carrying out such works, would be the more likely atidthebest fitted oindertakethem. There is not a district m either the Waikato or Waipa county, we make bold to say, which has not-some^ .much needed wort'- it see carried but, but which the local board is either unable to entel-upon on account' of its proportions, "or * unwilling to do so because otlier districts, which beneiit m a perhaps lesser degree, and should fairly -contribute towards - the .cost of the undertaking, are unwilling -to do so. The -proposed bridge at the Narrows and the Mystery . Creek ford are both instances m point. In the first mentioned case '* the Settlors are subscribing liberally towards the undertaking and are relying on the action of the counties -bene- - fitted •to step •m and carry the project forward from the point beyond which private enterprise cannot be urged. -And very. properly so too, but what, is the state of thecase 1 -The . Piako council has declined to - work the Act, and the Waipa council are hesitating whether they -wili do so,and the Waikato council will thus be called upon to stand alone m the gap where the ratepayers of two other counties might fairly be made chargeable with a share of '■"■ the cost of - the r proposed work, for both would more or less benefit by it. Again, m the second instance, that of the Mystery Creek, over which a bridge should be built, we have a much needed work which -belongs neither to the Hamilton nor to the Pukekura -High way District, and which, -if completed, would benefit the. people of other districts •also — and *this work has long remained, and is, we fear, likely to remain iv abeyauce for some time to come, if •lefc*to-the Boards to carry out. .-The 'want of a bridge here — indeed,' none^knowS'this better than the councillor of the Pukekura I'iding himself who nearly lost his life some time ago, m endea vouring to cross the -ford, when the creek was swollen — is *a -cause •-of considerable public danger, and the state *of «ihe approaches even to the ford, 'in -itheir .present condition, is a matter of greiit) inconvenience. The growing requirements of the district demand that a bridge should be thrown over the creek somewhere about this point. The whole of the •fat stock from a large portion of Waikato, fully a thousand head m the course of the year, have lo be taken over the creek here, and as many store cattle have to be 4aken up -into -the district, and a certain percentage of loss to the settlers 'm crossing cattle is sustained at this piont, to say nothing of the inconvenience. As a ford, the crossing' is' absolutely dangerous ; the sands shift with a flood, and what is safe one day* is dangerous, the next. Works such as these, and many others which could be enumerated — the Alexandra and Ngaruawahia road is another notable case m point — are beyond the means of a mere Highway Boai'd, and are, indeed, of more general benefit and usefulness than merely of that of the district itself m which they happen to be situated. Eor a single Highway Board to undertake this, would leave little to be spent on the roads generally of the'district, and therefore they ate left for some more extended general effort. It was to carry out such works, amongst others, that the county system was instituted, but, clearly, if one balf the Waikato is to go m to work the Act, and the other half declines to do so, the usefulness of the moie energetic portion will be much crippled, and the district will have lonsr to wait for many a useful public i work.-

Taß Naive .Minißt*r, Dr Pollen, arrived at Ngaiuawahia at mid-day, by speciO tram from Aucklaud, travelling the remi.udcr of the distance to Hamilton by can-age. He stayed labt ni^ht at the tl. mil tou Hotel, and proceeds ttis mc-ru-iu«, m company with Col. Lyon, to Alexandra, there to visit Rewi N-ti-maniapoto aud the other chiefs who have , deured to meet him m icferenca to the matters discussed at the previous meeting, and for the further discuabion of the laud question. This Hautapu Schooi. House which is being erected by Mr Atlio 1 the con- ' tractor, is, we learn, rapidly approaching completion. Two Large Potatoes bave been left at our office, the produce of Mr Deegan's gardeu. Ouo of chem weighs lib 14oz8. A Crediioks Meeting, m the Estate of Mr J Q- Wilson, will be held m the Court iiouse, Hamilton, on tbe 24th iast. The Book Debts m the Estate of Mr L J^aeph have, we See, been purchased by Mr T C Hammond, and. notioe is' givfcn that proceedings will be commenced against* all who shall not have paid their accounts' hy the 28th m St. Mr Thomas Russell.- We are glad to be able to welcomj oack Mr Russell 10 New Zeaiand. Wo learn from yejierdv-y's "Heraid," that "Mr Thomas Russell arrived at the Bluff on Sunday lust, by the Arawuta,. from Melbourne.* He ni y, : be expected m Auckland shortly, but he will first pay a vis t to Canterbury." Cherishing Old Recollections. — Tlie Beoond -night after her fii sl husband • did she sat by the open chamber window five hours waiting for the cats to be^in lighting m the back yard. Said she, * This thing of going to sk-ep witliout a, quarrel of some kiuu ia so new that I can't stand it. Let me alone till they I bigin ; then I can dose olf gent.y.'' The Handicap Pigeon Match — We canuot compliment the Auckland ' Star s on the correctness of its repOit of Friday* Pigeon Match which took place at I Hamilton, under the auspices of the' Waikato Gun Club. If our contemporary reoeived the account published m its issue of the 12th inst. from a correspondent, or an outsider, its credulity was imposed upon ; if it compiled the paragraph Irom oar report, which is the more probable,, the pat agraphia t has made a. complete ha h of it. Mr G wynne,- not Capt Dawson, secured first piize m firing oif ties for first and second place, and m firing Cff for third prizd with Major George Mr Laing s'ecuieJ the p. ize, not i the Major, as the ' Star ' puts it. « The Fallow Deeb.— After the deer were-taken on Saturday^ to the Maungakawa raiges, and released by Messrs Firth ' and Mornn, one of the four deer let loose ,i some time sinae m the same locality approached, we are told, arid iutervieved the ne-v comers. Only one was seen.; i, i deed, one was known to have died shortly after being turned out, and it is thought strange that there should have been but one survivor of the original •four. Mb J MoSes, we are afraid, -will, have a great deal to_answer for m tempting the ladies of Hamilton and th: neigh I ourliocd to spen.i their husband's and lather's money, for the attractions of Mr Longboitom's late shop, dressed up tasteluly •wi h a large stoc<c of dr »pery goods, bought at half price and to bo sold under • prime cost, will prove to much tpty vhe daughters of Eve. The' new 'shop' opens to-day and will no do übo be largely visited wh.-le there is a full ste ck I o chose from ( at such prices as are indicated by the 1 enterprising pi oprie tor. PUKBEIMU POSTAL REQUIREMENTS — T~e new school house ac Pakeeima is fast approacbihg completion m ihe hands of Mr Cooper. We understand that when i built and the master is resident, the sut-' *■ tiers intend petitioning the government to have a post office established thero. At present there is no oflice nearer than , Cambridge and many of the settlers have seven, eight, and nine miles to go for , their letters. Thia 13 a serious hindrance to business and a. stat j of isolation for a thriving and populate! district such is fukerimu, quite out of character wiih the advancing civilisation of the colony. St Peter's Church, Hamilton. — A most harmonious parish meeting was held On Tuesdap evening m the Church Hamilton, the Rev W Calder, inoumoent, m the chair, There was afuir attendance present and the -fist business entered into '. was i he -read ing of tie accounts by the 1 parish -warden; Mr Vialcu. From these, i ie will be seen, that the monetary position ofthe church is a healthy one, The receipts of the past year were £282 16s lid, the expenditure £267 9 • 7d leaving a balance on hand of £15 7s 4 Besides ; .paying its way the parish had been (" enabled to reduce the loan on the church , building by £35 and on the parsonage by £23 lis 6'd, and had expended . some £14 or £L 5 m extra rep lira to parsonage. • The accounts were audited and passed and the o'ergyman having nominated : , Col Lyon *a parson's warden, Mr Vialou , was propo.-ed for palish wardeu and unanimously re-elected. Mr Lcquesne' 1 was appointed Treasurer, and Messrs , Gwynnd and Gaudin auditors. The following gentlemen were then appointed a Gominiitee for the current year — Messrs Gum by, Hume, Gaudin, .Tolly, Coates, i R F Sands, and Ooi Lyon. It wus further resolved to increase the Balary of the verger to £16 and to expend a sum not exceeding £100 m adding to the Parsonage. Votes of thanks all round added to the hilarity ofthe oucasion and the meeting separated. The annual eeast of the Sunday school ohildren of St Peter's, Hamilton, was held ou Tuesday afternoon on the barrack green, when some 70 children of ' the sohool and a number of outsiders, and the several teachers and their friends enjoyed themselves m varioua games and -* sports. Towards evening the whole of the party adjourned to the gymnasium where a plentiful tea having been partaken of. the Rev W Calder distributed a number of prizes, some sixty- altogether, amongst the children. A very enjoyable day was spent by the small fry -for the weather cleared up at one o'clock, and by about ! three tbe light soil was quite dry. Atthe Wesleyan Church Quarterly Meeting, held at Te Awamutu last month, a motion was paseed abolishing all seat-rents m the Waikato Churches for the future. The reason assigned was, that mauy oljected to the practice on principle, as tending to create class distinctions and privileges m God's house. The meeting considered that it would be advisable to remove all cause of ol j c tion, especially as many members of tbe congregation had Btated that they would willingly inorease their voluntary sub- ' scriptions towards the clergyman's stipend, rather than- that money should be raised by a means which 1 deterred many of the lobs wealthy i from atti-ndiDg divine servic . The meeting expressed a hope that, as their source , of income would now be stopped, the ' members of the congregations wonld ie- : spond liberally elsewi c, aud so male up the diminished funds*

The Katlwvs\— The members of the railway staff arrived iii Hamilton from i Ngaruawahia, wiih their instrument-, on < Tui-sdny, and will be engage I m t-iking ' tl-e levels of the line between Hamilton i anJ Ohaupo, m order to ascertain how , much the linVyhas sunk m the swamp i country, through which ;the greater pari. ] o f ' it passes between- those two places, i I'he survey will probably he completed m amonth or six weeks' time. ExpekientiaDooet. — I rate young lady: '•Mr Jox, I declare your machines are the worht I ever saw l-^there'Si not even a looking- glass !" Proprietor of bathing miichines : " Why, Mis*, if there was looking-glasses we wouldn't get you ladies out o' them 'ere machines for ' bowers and howevs!" — Punch. '■-„ TTNuxpKcrbD Welcome.— " Are you there, my love ?" hej whispered through a hole m the fence of his beh-vedV back yard. "' Yes, .aarlirig," was the reply ; ••jump right over." He did so, and alighted m the presence of her mother, a btoimstick, and a policeman. The Hawke'* Bay ' Telegraph' saysMr Joseph Rhodes' email. flock of alpacas was shorn the other day, the clip averaging rather more than five pounds and a half per head The quality of the hair appears to be very good, and we ahould think it will favorably compare with' the same article produced m South America- ; On arrival at London, an opportunity will be for a comparison to be made, the"result < f which wdl be looked forward to vith it ttresc by the : Hawke's Bay s ttlcrs. Mr Rhodes' alpacas have been reared m this count-y^- thereby, showing tliat m one respect as least this climate it. not unfavorable to the ""successful rearing of this valuable animal.*: ; It, now only hs to be ascertained:'- what effect the Climate and feed have on the quality of hair, and 'thiß will be knowu, we presume, when Mr Rhodes' clip is m the hands ol the biokers. Si a Roger Tichbouiwe — In a letter to the Morniug fdat, Mr Gruildford Onslow denies the statement that the Claimant has, by misconduct, forfeited hs right to a reduction' iv his perio t ot : penal servitude, Mr Ons ow writis :— ' 1 have received a leuter from the governor of Dartmoor Convict Prison, io orining me that the convict Thomas Castro, i& eligible to receive a visit irom hia friends, and that he can be communicated with m tlie usual way by lett»r. Had the Claimant been guilty t-f any breach of prison di -upline he woold have forfeited bis r ght toa visit from his friends, and all correspondence would be suspended. On the other hand lhe governor assures ' me he is eligible for both yi»it aud a letter —favors never before granted uutil the usual six months had expired. This showß pretty clearly ■ that hia uniform good conduce m prison has met its re- ' ward. The repot tof his haViug misconducted himself is. another of those base attempts to disparage him m the eyes of the public.' Harmless Blackbirds. — The blockbirds iutioduced by the Auckland Acclimatisation Society have this year destroyed acres of strawberries m the neighborhood of Auckland. If the society would limit its introduction of this class of biros to euch as that mentioned below, aud distribute tbem through country districts, we might 6njoy the melody of our younger days and our strawberries too. 'In Mr Johnson's shop m Hastings street, Napier, says the,' Hawkes Bay Herald,' is to oe seen a rate novelty m the shape of an imitation songster, which whi.-tles and warbles similar y to a tbrush or blackbird. It has been brought from Dunedin by a gentleman, who has been lately visiting th^re. This particular novelty was m the last Paris Exhibition, and attracted considerable attention. -Anyone 1 oking at it casually could not tell it from a leaf bird. Ibis enclosed m a cage, and by some ingenious ymachihery has all the movt-mjuts aud* gestures; of a live -bird imparted to it. One pecul arity about ii • is that it does not keep constantly whist.'ing, but stops at varied iut-rvah-, ' apparently looks about, and then breaks forth again and warbled as vat i tally as if it were really alive. A GABLECttAM suiely the following' must be, though the 'Standard ' of the 17th. ult. wriGes seriously as follows: — 'The other day, it seems, the Government presented the .wife of Captain Fairchild, the mister of tbe government steam-yacht,- with 'a handsome set of diamond earrings with diamond locket to m itch,' for services rendered by hrn m recovering the broken end of the Cook's Straits cable. This is certainly a start!iug way of rewarding ifficiala lor execut ing dut:es for which .they are , otherwise remunerated- We have no doubt whatever, but that 'genial old Fairohild,' aa bis many friends call him, did his level best to assist m securing the cable-end alluded to, as he w^s m duty bound if ordeieJ to do so.- And we presume if he bai declined to give the assistance m question, which come-- within thi usual routine of tbe duties entrusted to that bold mariner's care, his services would . have at once been dispensed with. Taking for grant -d even, that Captain Fairch Id over-stieiched a point m the way of expediting the work, there is something so remarkable m that diamond presentation ' with locket to match ' that it needs some kind of explanation. Perhaps we : may procure it next. session, if the winds are favourable, m a Parliamentary sense. Hied Farming doubtless, may be ' pushed too far. The following sensible n marks from the 'Australasian' show the folly of blaming a olass because it is not rash euough to take a leap m the dark, but wisely feels its way -step by step : — 'lt is the "fashion m Austialia, as it long was m the Uni ed States of America, lo blame the Occupants of the land for the simplicity of their course of husbandry. They are incited to double their yield', to grow a Variety of crops, and thus to place their operations on a wider, and it is presumed a safer, basis. Australia, however, is not England j its climate, its soils, its labour market, its prices, are its own j and these conditions dictate to tbe occupant of the Boil the course or system of husbandry he must pursue. If he can profitably raise the average yield of his grain crops, by all . means let him do it ; but he should lay down the principle of extending the production of his farm only as far as he can doit profitably to himself, and 'avoid any attempt to pass that limit.' The American doctrine will bear repeating, and wiil furnish a text for thought : — * The whole secret of good And profitable farming is to extend the limit as far as possible ; it is bad and unprofitable farming to either fall below tbat limit or go beyond it. There are instances m which an extremely large yield is grown at a positive loss, as was the case of that farmer who {raised 100 buthels of oorn per acre with! .the expenditure of 102 dollars- worth of; manure and labour, while he raised 60 bushels without the manure and with less than half the labour. Th;s may be called ' high farming,' but it is not profitable.' To eaoh farmer musb be lefb the task of discovering the limits of safe operations, but it \ may be hinted that to keep more, stock than can be maintained- in a thriving condition cannot be regarded as profitable, nor can the practice of feeding stock upon • commons or roads be justified as good husbandry. Whilst stock, especialy sheep, are off the firm, a half of the next year's grain crop is being lost j the pastures, also, are losing their best friends, ai d the whole farm is deterior- 1 . ating.

Thd Shbea Mo^bthtts dispute, m which the former partner claimed £10,000 1 on dißßolutibn of the firm, has (says tlie 1 ' Horald) been settled t hus : Mr fehera t agreed lo the settlement for the sum of t £600, to be paid by McArthur, Shera and c 00. within seven days. All accjuuts t have been signed by all the parties, and 1 the cheque for £600 haa been accepted by J Mr Sheiaj Mr. Shera to pay his own • ooats. < Potatoes as Coehfbbd. — A correspon- 1 pondent m an American exchange says : — < i " Af teiTfeeding' many hundreds of bushels \ of potatoes, I find them almost if not j altogether as valuable as any root for ' milch cows. Mv practice for many years wa- to boil tliem, but alter a fair trial "of feeding raw, I abandoned the cooking, j By slicing or chopping them with a spade m a box, and giving them "a slight sprinkling of ma! or bran and a little salt, they are perfectly prepared. It is unsafe to feed them whole, for fear , of the animal : choking. The difference is greaily m favour of the raw potato for milk, although there are many no don it who will adhere to the boiled. For horses they' are Valuable, as they act gently on the bowels and improve the coat. Horses k«. ii- rally have*" to be taught to eat them but become very fond of them afterwards. It is besb. to begin by feeding a very few at a time, sliced and sprinkled with a little salt and meal or bran. My xperience with hogs has bean rather againsl the use of them, though others have fed them "With good results when plenty of corn meal was added." A good story is told of one ofthe candates for the representation of Napier, now viicant by the death of Sir Donald McLean. Some months ugo a subscription v-/as-Beton foot for the purchase of a fire-engine, and this candidate was a->ked to pu v his uame on the iiot. This be refused, saying, "I have no interest m the tjwn j my hou<e ia perfectly safe." He has since discovered that he has a lively mi ereßt m Napier, and the other day, rn.fe.ing the canvi>B >ci' for thd fipcb imdv*, asked him for his vote. "Well," saiu ihe canvabser, "1 -"skid jou lor a subscription some time ago for a fireengine, and you said, m effect, it did not matter io you if the whole town was burnt down. Let us first settle that, and then we will talk politics.?' *■'. Put my name down for £5, and let ua fcaik ; politics." said the candidate m reply i The name against a £5 subscription was soon written down, aud then the canvasser said, "'.."and now for politics; I have ; already fro mised my vote."- Tableauexit, candidate indignant ; canvasser, ; laughing-. Thb Cambbidg-b Briuge was-thrown-open to' public traffic at the commencement of the week; the work having been passed by Mi* All wright. The new bridge will be a great co;; venience to the settlers generally of the district, the loss of the old one during. the fl ods of December twelve months past having been severely felt. The new construction .is a Howe truss bridge; is 143 feet m length overall, with a clear space of 118 feet;, i 14 feet roadway, and heighth of truss ' 18 feet. It haß cost £2,345, and is a well constructed, substantia! erection. The gradients of tbe appioachjs are a ; great improvement on those of the old i bridge, the present one being at a higher level by some tweive or fifteen feet. There is one thing we would caution i country settlers about, and that iB, that i m driving cattle across, they should let I not more than from twenty to thirty at • most pass over at the same time. The i bridge is calcu'ated to stand a steady - strain of 150 tons m the centle, but a : i herd of cattle or flock of slieep, or I the regular tread of a body of men, m J the case of- suspension bridges, are more I dangerous than any weight tbat is likely ' to be broiight to bear upon tl eir strength. >- N.xfc to the reguiar tread of a body of I men the tramp of cattle is the most 1 dangerous, the vibration increasing beat ' by beat, tiii he structure gives way. For hia reason soldiers on -the inarch are ' lways thrown out of regular step bt-fore E roising a bridge of this construction. the new road between the two bridges, '* Td s new one and that over the Kara ppra J Creek, has been mnch improved, having * been raised several feet. A Delicate Tositign. —The? Akaroa Mail' m noticing a recent vbaby show m I that locality, says :— " The judges -t ree [ married men — had great difficulty m ' deeding, all the compeiitors. being 1 specimens of soldiers iv prospective, all 1 being bo..s. However, Mrs Tizzird's baby gainedjlhe first prizd, and Mr-* Noonan's second, <h<*y being the two heaviest taking * weight for- age*' On Mr McMillan announcing the decision [ the judges had to run for their livej." [ This weather, has turned over a new le f and is now all smiles, and. will, we i trust, continue on the broad grin seasont able at this period of the year. lu- [ deed it is likely to do so as the new i moon • cume m on Tuesday evening at 8.38. A good hour of the day ; for the ; m>ons that come m from noon to midnight are, as a rule accompanied with finer weather than those coming m between » midnight and noon. Although the past i three or four weeks his been the rainiest i ever remembered m this district, and has i been general through the country, the i river has not risen nearly so high as it did last summer. The most remarkable ! i phenomenon has been the immense amount of elec rich y m the atmosphere. The - Suoruis having beea most frequent and furious. We have heard, however, of but s one accident from lightning m the didt'ict during the past month, tbe killing , i of a horse belonging to Mr Wicks m the ' : storm of Sunday week last, at Te Rahu, ■ between Ohaupo and Te Awamutu. The St Matthew's Altar Window. — ' There has been considerable ofa rumpus m the parish of 8t Mathew's at the at- ' tempt to erect. a stained glass window objectionable [to sound Protestant feel- ■ ' mg over the altar m St Mathew's 1 Church. Tbe window is a memorial to 1 the late "incumbent, tbe Rev David Jones a sound churchmanand as very many of his parishioners asserted, none more than himself would have ob ; jected to the memorial windowas designed. A public meeting ot the parishioners was held on Monday evening for the purpose of deciding whether the stained glass window should beerected. A Lrgenumber of the leading members denounced it as tei ding to introduce the thin edge of Ritualism. The feeling was so strong and universal that the incumbent and those wi h him were obliged to yield the point and the following resolution proposed by Mr Doonin and seconded by Col Haultain was carried without opposition : — "That as the centre portion of the memorial is not approved by the^ whole of the congregation, this meeting is of opinion tbat it would be injudicious to have it erected m theohuroh."' Bee keeping is a much neglected industry m New Zealand, yet m no country do bees thrive better or increase more rapidly. We take the following from the ' Western Farm Journal:'— "Mr E Osburn, Jackson Co, lowa, ha* 56 colonies, many of them having given 100 lbs of comb honey euch. He has a ton box of honey now on liaxid A good honey harvest generally is reported for the year. Out of 40,000,000 people m tbe States about 70,000 are bee-keepers, and'tihese Bend to market About 15,000,000 lba of honey a«d wax yearly, representing m value 3,676,763 dole for the former, and l 189,388 dola for the latter."

The Opposition "of nuxt Se^si <n. — The Wellington V Argus" haa the foi lowing : '-Thi Auoklandoorrespondent < f the " Obago Daily Times" is weil known to be a gentleman who is m the confidence of Sir George Grey, aud i» himself bh© staunohest of ataun oh Proviucialists. When he, therefore, telegraphs bhab Sir G-eorge Grey is nob going Home, and that the people of Auckland do not care about the matter, it is very evident that tbe game of Provincialism is played ont m Auckland, and tbat the SO.UOO people of whom Sir George Grey" was always talking have, by experience, become reconciled to the loss of their ■ birth'-ights, aad to the state of serfdom to wh'.ch, amongst other wrongs and ills. Sir G-eorge declared was there lob on the abolition of Provincial institutions, WV fancy that very much the "Bame feeling prevails m Otago, and that there also is little interesb shown m the professed mission Home, and still less inclination to subscrice the necessary funds. We are TBorry, however, that there is no chance of Sir George Grey's going Home, because bis absence next session would be a positive blessing. If he is m the House he will be a regular Marplot, and will stand m the way of any su«h rearrangement of parties as would certainly take place were he absent. As long as he is the leader of the Opposition, the Government will be m no danger. His opposition is their safety. He will certainly never lead a political party to victory* and we doubt that any party of which he is* a member will ever attain office. Were Sir George Grey to go Heme or remain at Kawau, and resign his seat, a good healthy opposition would certainly be formed, and we doubt whether the Government would be able to withstand it. The G-overnment, oertainly would b* very thankful to bir George for not going Home. ■ He would not do them a greater service than by staying m the Colony and retaining his seat iv the House."

Fhabjtjl Accident. — About this time the circus Agent bursts into the country newspaper effloe and says, breathlessly — ■ •You the editor?' «1 amy sir.' Correspondent fjr some of the metropolitan prets ?' ' Yes, s r. ' *1' ye gob the biggest ; sensation you ever s*w, and 1 want you to send off by apecal to the "Chicago Tribune," " New; York Herald," and all ! the other big papers.' The reditor gets: out ...his peacil and a quire of printing paper and says 'Pile in'!' The circus Says: .'Put down that Blowhard's gigantic mammoth golden tabernacle com binei back-action, meglonthasallarian circus — it's a big thing, I tell you, and I am agent ; Barnum's is a side-show to ib, and Lent would have to burst up and go home on foot, only our old man lent him money— haye you got that down?' ' I have.' ' Well, add that we have been benbing up m the' north-west and been coining money everywhere, while all the little one-horse concerns that; get up big posters and obtain money underfalse pretences haveu't' been taking m Btamps enough to pay for their liceuses — houses papered, all of 'tin.' 'Goon.' ' Well last week, while we were^moving bhe show from Ouhshkosh to Wowlville, m seven speoial trains land 163 cars, the zoological canivorium ran off ± the track and all the dens were smashed and the animals got loose.' ' Blow my soul,- you don't say bo 1' 'I tell you it was worse than the St Louis Convention. The anaconda swollowed the only real African giraffe m this country, imported specially for us at a cost of 251,500 dolars, all but 10 or IS feeb of his necl*. The poor animal's efforts to escape from its living ! tomb were frantic, and the look ofjdumb, almo.it human, agony m its large lustrous black eyes, moved the bternesb advance agent bo bears.' .-* Dear me V 'Then the royal Bengal tiger, the Sumabran lion, and the big-borned rhinoceros got iuto a three cornered fi^ht, and bhe way m which bhe air was full of howls, and dust, and blood, big ebuuks of meat like sirl -m steaks a-wizz.ug round — ib makes me shudder to think of it.' 'It must have j beeu terrible.*' "Terrible, ain't no word for it. Then the Chiaspian gigantic ourang-ou'ang and the blue-faced gorilla cime up with cubs formed of sapliugs s xteen feet long, and as big round' as your leg, and sailed m like polic-men into a primary meeting, and m 2 14 12 they had flattened out th-m tigers, and lions, and rhiuooeroses, tiii there wasn't one of them dared say his soul was his own.' ' Wondei ful ! wonderful!' 'You're just talking. Then came the elephant, Mercutio, turned wild with fear and rage, and trumpeting like a thunderstorm, ran into a fold where a farmer had a flock of IOD, OOO Merino sheep, aud such mutton-juggling I never saw m my life. He'd jusb yank up a Bhe^p with his trunk, and gi>e him a jerk and — z'pl thnt sheep would go -shoot-, ing through the air, and come down flit as a pancake -600 or =700 yards off. it was just old chain- lightning, and it would have made yOureyes slick out to see it. "Why, onve he had seventeen sheep m the air at once J' ' How many lives lost ?' ' None, tbank heaven. We always have a steam fire-engine filled with chloroform m the train with us,- and as soon as we could get it out and get up steam, we began playing on them, and, of co.urse s when they were stupefied, it was the easiest thing m lhe wot Id to catch them and put them back m tlieir cages.' • I understand ; bub that poor giraffe?' 'O, we g<*ve the anaconda a barrel of emetic--, and the giraffe came up kiting, but the action of the anaconda's gastric juice has taken all the colour off h"s '"•oofs.' ' How wonderful aie the works of nature!' * You bet. Now sock it to i hem red hob and lively, 'and I'll ante up all the tickets to the show you want.' The editor does so, and poes to bed to dream thab he is an an-.conda trying to swallow a long-necked circus, marked, •' special complimentary to the "Tribune," " wben he is wakened by the telegraph boy, who brings him the following : — 'Your special to ' Chicago Tribuue " about circus accident refused. Pleaae pay bearer 65 dollars 14 cents." — '" Chicago Tribune." !