TOWN TALK.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 717, 20 January 1877, Page 2

TOWN TALK.

(FHOM AN AUCKLAND CORRESPONDENT.)

A THOUSAND. MILES IN A THOUSAND HOURS.

The other day Smith and Jones had a dispute about the great feat of walking a 1000 miles m a 1030 hours. Smith said he had seen it done. Jones said he didn't see anything wonderful about it; he could do it himself. Smith laughed incredulously, and said, "I'll bet too, fifty notes you can't do it, old mauV^f " Done," said Jones, and they went and staked the money, and signed the follow* mg ;—'" Jones, of Karangabape Road, beta Smith, of Poo son by, £50 that ha (Jones) will walk 1000 miles m 1000 hours. Smith bets Jones £50 he cannot do it." Smith got a measured mile marked out, on the road to hia office, and walked his firat ia twelve minutes. "That's all very w«U" said Smith, " but just wait until you've walked for a day or two, old man." " Oh, that won't make any difference," replied Jones, as he put on his coat, and was proceeding to his daily occupation. "Where are you going ?" inquired Smith. " Oh 1 ita rather warm," replied Jones. "I'll walk the next mile this evening, after I've done work," ** Then, you've lost," exclaimed Smith. "Lost, be blowed," said Jones, "if I walk the 1000 miles m 1000 hours, what does it. matter? the bet doesn't say (( consecutive hours/ .Smith, claimed the stakes from Brown, who held the £100. Brown says it's a difficult point to decide. The case is unprecedented. He has searched all the reoords, and he can't find anything about it. Anyhow, as Jones continues to walk the mile «very morning as he goe3 to work, and another mile as he returns m the evening, the stakes must be held until the 500 day have elapsed. Smith is indignant, and says Brown and Jones are a pair of swindlers. TODGER AT A PIGEON MATCH. ' My friend Podger attended a pigeon match the other day, and he has related to me bis experience thereat. The pigeons appeared to have a decided disinclination to be shot, and when released from the trap, instead of rising m the air, to give the noble competitors a fair shot at them, they just went and perched oa the gun barrel. With some trouble they were dislodged, and then flew m among the sportsmen, while the shooter keep turning round with his gun, at an angle of about 15 °, to get a fair shot at fch«

f)lrd. Sometimes the gun was m a line with Podger's head, causing him and the rest to duck and dodsein a manner which was any thioK but digni3« d. A lother tob 4 . -sportsman bad f >rgotten that his gun was loaded, and put a second charge m. When it we.it off there was a tremendous it coil oau-ting thn noble sportsman to -stagger again it Poilger, crushing his corns, knopking him down, and completely destroyin? his new white stove 'pipe <hat, which cost a guinea at Hill and (Fen ton's. (But -the cup of bitterness h«d not ydt been drained. There <was the 'usual condition that the birds «mußt be kiNed before they got outsiJe the boundary. Our noble sportsman had only winged lfia "bird, an-i it went Chopping away across the field with them m pursuit, making desperate attempts to despatch the bird with the stock o r his gun. \Boing a - fat man, unaccustomed to exercise, the pace was foo for him, -and he -weflt sprawling on i the sward. Todgers says he doesn'c see' tmuoh sport'in a pigeon match. -■ j AN AWKW4.BD SMUATION. j He waa a gallant naval officer m igilt ■ Hiuiton?, and she was a fair Hebe who; dispensed refreshing 'beverages and smiles • to thirsty and amorous souls. The pal<3ant officer was a good deal of both. He • lingered fo idly, about that bar, squeezed j the hand of the oharmer as he h vnded her ' 'the coin, and slyly indulged m many ,' • soft nothings. He took advantage of a j jjju «b moment to iarite the ifair one to aj - trip to Mercer by train, and to his de- ; flight she consented. They started next* morning. At Mercer the gallant engaged -a boat and they went for a row down the. stream. The lady admired the .sprnerv | -and .paddled her delicite Himd m ther 'water, while she hdld the parasol withi 'the other, to proteot 'her delicate oo<u-' /plexion 'from the warm sun and to keep , i the psiiut aud things from dissolving -away. The officer pulled leisurely and, <the boat sped down stream at the rate of: Iknot*. * 'By-aud-by he thought -he had .•gouft-^ar* enough <anl tur.ed to pull back: -against the tide. Then it was that he' ■ discovered the difference. Anon the sun . splayed down upon him with increased -He was "m the melung) bot- not with love, btlt perspiraUion. The lady cheered his flagging exertions with many smiles and tender words While he was " Pulling bard against the* i stream," as the -flong f-ays, but nuchal the up- train. for Auckland had departed: ere they returned, to Mercer. There was •no thing' for -it but to remain for the night. The lady blushed, the officer apologised, ■ »and the landlady smiled benignly. They were accommodated with apartments,; •separate of coarse, and prepared to make the best ; of things until morning. But -meantime a young man m Auckland, to whom the young.lidy has been engaged for some time past, hid been making > anxious] and learned the direcvtion m wuich his beloved had- gone. he engaged a buggy and pair and drove m hot haste-to Mercer, break- 1 ing m suddenly upon the officer, and the. ifatr one m the front parlour, and i insisting upon h r returning to towuatonce, •to which she consented, after bidding! fare we 'l to the officer. The latter spent , the evening m pious raeditatim while oigars, and imbibing schnapps, aud n xt morning returned to town reflecting on the evanescent nature of -alii, • worldly happiness. The worst of it is that; the galleab officer is now threatened with a Cjurt-mactial for exceeding his Meave of absence, and fora hreich, of the, Articles of War, m flirting with thefiance • of auother fellow. terrorism: ov thb fbess, -Since the -above adventure two of our' -local civil functionaries have been enj iy»ing themselves ab the.. local sp.t — Wai- • wera. There are donkeys there — I dont jfefer j'ist now to tbe ordinary bipe.ip, which are common enough, — but to the I four legged animal with the long auriou lar appendages. One of the civic swells proposed to the other .-that they should; • take a ride oq th 9 Bands. Heplitd his •• companion ".I should like to Bee myself ► doing tint— «v<hy it would be m to , 'morrow night's paper under large ' Besides, ".added his friend .•-sjftly," they might have some difficulty m distinguishing between tbe g'ladruped .-.and myself.