Ward's Donkey.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 685, 4 November 1876, Page 2 (Supplement)

Ward's Donkey.

My netn is VS\.rJ. TTickerrtrmus Ward, at your serviss. On the grcfc Araerikan kintinent, my father feeds his floek — thet is 2 say, he gits up early of * mornin 1 and lets the old donkey abroad to browse on the grin paschures. The donkey is a gret institootun. He hez bin a member of the fameily of "Ward ever sints the days of Benjie Franklin and Geo Washington. Consequently he is morn'n a sentry in eggsistense, and he luks tuffenuff to larst thru another sentry at least. He is, in fact, the pretest old ass alive at the preient time, with the exseptioto, probly, of Bi'ig'm Yung and the present Shar of Pershy. Old gran'father Ward was very prawd of this critter in his time, and used to take him in 2 his konfidence when things whar goin' rong on the farm. They used to stroll out together in 2 the fields, and the old man would hold forth to it in a gret way, for ours at a stretch, on the waste and mismanagement of his sons and servant gals. The donkey would jest potter alongiide, wallopin' his long years, and now and then pickin, up a thistle top by way of refreshment. Sumtimes, when the old man pawsed to take breth, the darned critter would put his head over gran' father's sholder, lift his years up straight, and let off a most tremengeous burst of applause, which kinder stirred the old man up, and he'd start to diskourse agin more cheerful like, and probly never, stop till ho had gone over the whole histry of the battle of Bunker's pill and the war of independence. „ „„ . .ji. , He wps very fond of Milkisidiek, was ole gran'father. He kalled him by that name on account of his famerly hutry bein' sumwhat missterius. lie wasn t like other donkeys that air born on a farm in a reglar way, and grow up into full bloom surrounded by their parents and other relashns. No, he jist walked quietly one day, about a sentry agd, into gran - father's back-yard, straight from the primeval forest that stretched away from ouf little garden of sweet potatoes and p»bbagif«, rite on to the base of the .Rocky fountains. This donkey led a calm, contemplative life on the farm, never puttm' hi»self nbout for ennything except his tucker. He had the easiest times of it ot any critter I ever seed. I've seen all the folks on the farm workin' away in the hot weather, makin' hay while the sun was flhinm', like to burst themselves up, and that ere donkey would pass the time »les>«antly im the «htdo of tho old house, hi* tail «tuok agaiuit the timbers as if he were holdin' the bildin' up, and tliero he'd fumin»tc for days together, with one year up and t'other down, turn about, lukm as §co\ as a cucumber and as wi»e as a filosoM6n<sM 6n<5 fait l remember, when I was a bof , my couwa Arteinus, who lived in 2 Buldinsville, and gumetimea went about with a show of wild animals and wax statues, came to see ole graa'fathcr, who was his uncle, bein 1 hw fathers oldest beruther. „ . • I guess,' said Arterous. • yu would be kinder tfad to sell that ole cuss now, uncU I don't mind takin' him into my jhow and pttttjn' a label on to him to see I Viuther he'd pas* for Balaam's donkey. 1 r*rkon be might for a fu, weeks. ' Well,' say* the old man, • I «ufi<s you meedn't b* btdly off to fill up that vacancy in yur show. Talkm' donkeys air not a scarce commodity in these times, and with that ho gave a sly twinkle over his ipeks. 'ButhoWßumever, savabe it you want to specklate yn can burn him for 100 dollars down, onl y I tell yu honestty that I've sold him six time* already, •nd fee's ajlors como back agin on my faaads, a»d the parties that put their money into him have not cum back to «cDlain ' The old man chuckled, and says he 'I guess there's suthia' miaterms »beowt Milkisldick-suthm" very misterin*-' This, of course, made Artemus keen to ait hold of aech a wonderful critter, so he Said down the mr>ney, and nert day started off with the donkey at the rate of about nx miles a week. We all went out 2 see them off, and before tbey had gone out of site we seed Artemos git on the donkey's back and beg'n to wake him up •htely with his hickory cane. When they »m out of site, ole gran'father too a pinch of snaff »nd says he, •We shell all life to see Mjlkisidick back agin. He won t go M- Aye, aye,' says he, quite solemnlike, 'there's sathin 1 rwy mwtenus abeowt Milkisidiek— suthia' w«vj roisteriui' Sure enuff, about a week afterwards, «r« found the donkey one mornin' quietly boldin' up the loan-to at the back of the Kouse, as it nuthin' had happened. Artemus never came back far him, and altho I rote him onot ibr an explanation, I got no answer to my letter. He gave up the ihoir badness shortly afterwards, and went out west to see Brig'm Yung on a lecturing tour. Ho rose to get dutinkshn »s a lecturer and littery man, but I have 'iiprcr seen any illusion to thet donkey in 'all hit ritin's, bat I have my own sespishns that his adventures with that onearthly tetitter had much to do with poor Artemat's early and lamented death. On 1 talkin' withgran'fatheraboutit afterwards, • &f e aye/ says he, ' poor Artemus is A MtLd and gotie— dead and gone— and I'll fv on foller (which he did a montli or so "arterwardx). but that donkey will descend tv a Uejrloomin the famerly for many aeaeratjous. I wish I hadn't sold poor Artemus, but I'll pay him back— l'll pay him back over yonder first time I come ■crow his tracks on the green pmines. He was a good lad— a food lad was poor Artemus. But thore's suthin' very misterius.' The old man was JO2 when he died, and the donkey still walks about auite oherfal. Larst letter I had from the old folk., the critter had jest finuhed cettin' a new set of teeth. X shall let yu kno if ennj thing iurther transpires abeowfc this 4 legged and aged filosofer. X am, &c, JIjCKEBDEMUS WXBD.