Quiet Mr. Smith.

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 664, 23 September 1876, Page 5 (Supplement)

Quiet Mr. Smith.

Mrs Frett said ! What a quiet man you husband is Mrs Smith,' ' Quiet ! a snale is an • express train' to him ! Tf the top of this * house should blow off, he'rl just sit still and spread his umbrella ! He's a regular pussy cat. Comes into the front door as though the entry was paved with eggs, and sits down in his chnir as if there was a nest of kittens Tinder the cushions. He'll be the death of me yet. I read him all the horrid aneidents, dreadful collisions, murders, and explosions, and he takes it just as easy as if I w^ saying the ten commandments. He is never astonished, or startled, or delighted If a cannon ball should come through the window, he wouldn't move an eye-lash If T should make the voyage of the world, and return some fine day, he'd take off his spectacle 1 ?, put them in the ease, fold up the newspaper, and settle his dicky, before he'd be ready to say ' Good morning, Mrs Smith ' If he'd been born of a poppy he couldn't be more soporific. T wonder if all fhe Smiths are like him When Adam got tired of naming his numerous defendants, he said, ' L?t all the rest be called Smith !' Well, I don't care for that, but he ought to have known better than to call my husband Abel Smith. Do you suppose if I were a man, I would let a woman support me ? Where do you think Abel's coats, and cravats, and canes, and cigars come from ? Out of my brain ? ' Quiet ?' — it's perfectly refreshing to me to hear of a comet, or see a locomotive, or look at a streak of chain lightning? I tell you he is the expressed essence of chloroform.