A Maiden Speech.—' Ask papn.'

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 663, 19 August 1876, Page 3

A Maiden Speech. — ' Ask papn.'

There* • no special style of cograring engagement ringi. A npider's web with * fly vi it it ft pretty derice. A thoughtless old gentleman, the other dty, '"t down on the «pnr of th» moment. Hit screams were horrible. A rural pnper, wishing to be severe upon another editor, remarked, ' The tubici iber o f in this place tried a fow tUji ago to cam home tome lard in a copy of that paper: but on reaching home, <ounrl thut the concentrated 'lie' had ohaagei the bird into soap.' Hi«?h Life Below Stairs.— Muster, (sniffing) : ' There is a most extraordinary •m^ll, James. I've noticed it-*i»eral — -' Hall Portsr : ' I don't wonder at it, Sir, Ire i»poke about it down ttair*. The Buttier, 8 r, you see i< • 'Igh Church,' which he 'as fitted up as a Uoratory in the Pantry, and burns Hinoenss. We c uld fltnhd that; but the CooV is of the 'Low Uh'ncb'perAuaiion, and she hums fiiown r«jx ito hobvjulo i he Ilmccn'c. It i« per(cckly htiwfiil on Siinti' D»ya, Sir!!!'

PyLLtrilNtt TICK KIVEB.— A fcOIJ. *»>at r-prehensiblo practice v»hi forceiby br ught to our notice the other Jay which is ec rcely <tir upon thos* living down struitin I), liw Hamilton, many ot whom mo ttic rivov lor dnnk'n^ puipOiO". A^ an oast me.irw of getlin;T rH <f ti.e cnr otso, h dortfl liorne win uncer-noo ou-ly mt)b)oii over th« flijr or <>..>'k of tho rirer. Tho bo It would prob'thh oo tairwd by the eddy iuto iomo tice't or bighn, and fh^r? lie lol'ing and rtfc-»y>ng, polluting fie water. We don't know how they relish essence of r> cnyod h irs^ lower down tdo rirar, bufc certainly llnniilton pjopl«- would feel very nidig'iant if h <ns up stream gave as a similar opportunity of , BC3rtai"iDg the fldTOur.

Tyro RnYAZ. Mabthaoes — Th- Lo'idnn Oorreni oud«iit of the 'Wtur' saje, "Pur iiment will soon be called to stump up some • ash for a couple of pair* of Royal lover . The Duko fi CLnnaught Ims be u for some lime ousting -ibout for aome eligib' e parti aid it u sui.l Jhit ht «o)k a violent t>noy *br * dduglnof of a noble duko; this h .weTrr coudnot bo pc mifteii, and » good manj swell maramn* who ha*o been indulging* in dreumi of Koyal 9"ns-in-IRW b.»Te been (liaapp-Nnted. He lim come o t of it very well, thanlu to tho fuel of hi» bein,» lucky «nougli to have a pratty (onsin, a daughter of tho ex-K ng onii Queen of Hunov. r, the Pnncew Fredric*. • The CuinherlunrJa,' were asked to »»ib at Windsor •> few weeks ago, and the cousim mtnn^ed to get apoonef »fc odcc Everyone hopni that when the inirnage come* off the Duke of Cumberland, »»d his family will come over to hw in Eng land, vrher* they i»re ver» popakr. Piinee Lout of BaUenburg is to marry tLe Princess Beatrico, and on he i* u plucky young fellow, und » general f.ivoai'it;', t'iu connection ban a project of hivppiDens to all CDiieerned."