CANTO THE SECOND. A SATIRE WITH A MORAL. [WRITTEN EXPRESSLY FOR THE WAIKATO TIMES.]

Waikato Times, Volume X, Issue 533, 19 October 1875, Page 2

CANTO THE SECOND. A SATIRE WITH A MORAL. [WRITTEN EXPRESSLY FOR THE WAIKATO TIMES.]

[In order tqprei>ent misconception, readers will be pleased to understand that this Satin, is written with a purely moral object. Care will be taken not to offend religious sensibilities. l

In Canto one I stated, I arrived at Satan's gate, How I rang the bell and waited, but I hadn't long to wait, For in answer to my summons there appeared an aged man, Who surveyed me long aad sternly, as a footman only can ; Yet I did not blanch or tremble *neath that withering regard, But I asked for Mr Satan, and I handed him my card : " You'll observe l'mrepresenting 1 ' — Here, he bowed and touched his hat " Oh, The journal with the largest circulation in Waikato." Then he grinned with* much complacence, and he bowed a bow profound, And says he : u I know the Guv*ner will be proud to shew you round." Now. he was not clad in scarlet, and he'd neither horns nor tail, And no fiery smoke or brimstone from his nostrils did exhale, And no deadly sharp-pronged pitch-fork in his hand did I discover As he's ©ftea seen in pictures turning roasting sinners over ; He vtras quietly apparelled in a simple suit of black, Eather threadbare at the elbows, rather shiay at the back, And his fancy bazaar slippers could convey no earthly proo£ Of such diabolic features as a club foot or a hoof Let lac sum *p his appearance, in a very -common phrase As u a seedy looking party, that had seen some better days." He advanced to meet me kindly, and he shook me by the hand, And he warmly bade me welcome in accents soft and bland, "" So you represent the Times I see, I expected you here sooner, How"'s H—l—y?H — 1— y? and, how's my dear friend G— e J — s, junr. How's L— g — c, and how's S— l— t, they're enterprising fellows ? And who's that L 0. G. T. man that newly blows the bellows ?" That reminds me, — but to mention it, perhaps might be uncivil, Those Good Templars seem to have a dreadful <fai£ l inipfc&iM&. / ■ /' |J Uf coixvsc'2' mean the drunkards, but " tfitTdrinking of cold water, Is sending me some thousands in a period much shorter Than I otherwise might get em,* 1 (I ceuld scaTce repress a smile,) " We've abolished fires in Hades for, let's see I—a1 — a goodish while, Save for purposes of cooking, but yoi've just to say the word, And I'll ring for old Beelzebub who'll light one like a bird." So quite cozily we chatted, on politics and scandal, And, no subject could I mention that he didn't ably handle. Then 1 offered him the papers, that had » cheered me in the train, But he backed into a corner with a look of sudden pain, And he winced and gently ventured to drop this pregnant hint, " Life is sad enough already, without reading more in print. People think we're very wretched, but its better here by far, Than to live in windy Wellington, and fee an M. H. 8., And I'd rather live in — well, suppose we say perdition, Than waste days and hours discussing that frightful Abolition. You know I've lots of fellows here, from every raae and nation. From every clime, and every age, and every rank and station, But I'd rather have at any time a witch or a magician Than a puffed-up, talking, selfish, and scheming politician. Of the discipline of Hades, they constantly make breaches, And they bother me for billets, and bore me with their speeches, Indeed, sir, I have found 'em such a constant frightful bore That I've almost half determined not to let in any more." Here a smile of curious meaning his features lighted o'er, And he said, " pray/flir, excuse me, there's a party at the door That I've patiently expected — I hope you < won't be vexed, I But I must attend to business" — the r«mainder in my next.