THE WONDERFUL "PED." (IN FUTURO)

Waikato Times, Volume IX, Issue 520, 18 September 1875, Page 2

THE WONDERFUL "PED." (IN FUTURO)

Am— "Tho Cork Leg." [Shawiag how a Hamilton 'Ped" wilked 112 uiiie3 in 48 hour 3, carryiug 56 lbs.] I'll tell you a tale without any joke, In Hamilton dwelt a pedestrian bloke, Who every morning got ud at lour And walked till he coulda't walk on any more Ei too ral 100 ral, &c. One day he had just returned from a spin, Whea a man why hoped Bnme money to win Said "to walk for nothing it is a sin, Let's hj,ve a wager and then wire in," Ei too ral 100 ral &c f Settled the thing in a brace of shakes And Gwynne conientt d to hold the staket, And ne Baid in 48 hours he'd do - Of imlea a hundred and ten and two. Ei too rtl 100 ral .&o. He drank a quart of Cummiog's beer And looked around with a comical leer, A sort of a look so dreadfully queer ■ It filled the hearts of the crowd with fear. Ei too ral 100 ral &c Then he put on e&oh foot a comical shoe And turnod at eaob heel a rum little screw Till the steam came hissing and bubbling ihrcugh And set all the crowd in a kind ol' a sio.v. Hi too ral 100 raz &c. for the ped of Hamilton, it would se »m, H-id made lneuhauioi his etudy and theme, And he had contrived a walking machine, The springs a compound ot clockwork and steam. Hi too ral 100 ral &c. The shoes were neat and fitted tight, Inspection the walkist did invite, But Missen got up m a terrible fright Aud Davis exclaimed, " why blow me tight !" ■ Hi too ral 100 ral &o. Then he started away at a fearful pace And the bystanders trie I to foliow in chase, But horror and f.j ir Bat on each i>ice Aa the " wulkist" disappeared in space. Hi too ral 100 ral &o. Aa to the punt the ped did go, free wheeler, descrying him, Bti«.uted "Sail hoi 1 , And E piey ran out and fang out " Whoa !' And Martin the tai.or exclaimed •' H^lto!" Ei too ral 100 rol &n, He flew like a 'ocl'et past eveJ^ shop, Of apt ed he went at the utmost top, Each step be to^k with a bound and a hop, Till he found tie shoe* he coudn't Btop Xi too ral 100 ral &c. Now, Lands was taking a quiet smoke, When >own the biJl the ' w»iki&i" broke, And ne shouted ' Hallo, I say, my bloke, Just pay youf fai©, gc"yvu^U dad it's no joke,*' Xi too ral 100 ral ie,

He tried to sjjop htm with all Hit isigh^ But the p»d mtdf'a jump-Atia Vettt out-«f sight And Lands he. muttered > Well blow Ed© tight. fle'B paid no fare, aad dicMl d me (Ju t 9." , Ei too ral Joo ral &o. ffp went top the hill with, a skip and a hop, §P jast graced in at L 9 Queue's bit shop, Ta^n into Burkes bar did suddenly pob, Drank two quarto of.Cummin/a bee^fike a drop, / ~~Ki tooi^Tloo nil &c> Midst a oloiad of stoam he went out of the door^ And a new obum shouted " Oh my, oh lor ; It Btberornn;i eßtii ftihtaseTerlßaw'r, • . He'll bmt hw biler, I'm obtain sure." Ei too ral 100 ral &c: IF He gave a fresh Jura to the tore**, athis heels, And in one more jump he was up at Qteele's 4nd the it^am puffed out with awful squeals, While sparks flew up with frequent peals. Ei too ral too ral &c.. Then Graham's, and Leslie's, and' Mirtin'a he paused; And Shaw's aud Smith's behind he cast, In a bog near Reids he nearly stuck fast, While settlers r»n out of the way aghast. Ei top ral 100 ral &c. He jumped a mile at every span, Past Fee's and Arnold's and pist MoOano, He rushed along like a streak of fire, Passed Parker, and Clement's andpassedMoGruire. Ei too ral 100 ral &c Now Reynold's and Neil's are lost to view, * And Limb's iBp^s«ed witli a loud " Halloo !" But at Laird sand Kifkwood's a whiatle ho blew, And called tor' a pint of Hally's best br«j w. Bi too ral 100 ral &c. He gulphed it down, and was off again, O'er hill and valley and swa up and plain, ' ] To ease bis weary bones he was fain, L ' He tried to stop, but 'twas all in vain. Ei too ral 100 ral &o. He saw poor Hewitt .just outside his door, And a newspaper iv his right hand he bore, Aud a curions lo jk on his face ha wore, And ho muttered " Subscriber I'm Nevernore 'I Ei too ral 100 rai &o. He passed Dr Boale at a terrible pace. And the medical inau s»ii .'• Hallo ! here's a race, ' ' I'll just turn round and follow in chase, For it seems to me there's a oha.ic? of a case." Ei too ral 100 rai &o. Searancke the E. M. was riding along With Montgomery singing a J&aoci soag, When the ped. went by putfiug awfully strong, " Hallo" said Searancke " there's something hero wrong." Bi too ral 100 ml &c. " Here's some one riding furiously Just ride t j McGovern and telt him from ma A summons to issue immedi^-ely Or theie'll be a case 01,/efo dese." Ei too ral 100 ral Ac. Through Walker's Swamp he went like a shot, And the New Chum ditchers they fleJ the pot, And they sorore the d 1 ainongab 'em had got, And vowed New Zealand was going to pot, Ei too rai 100 ral &c. Through Te KLuiti he went wi h a bound, ttmirtiug a horribly rasping sound, And the King aud Eewi rose up from the ground, And yelled out "Taipo !" aad rusha-l arjuad. Ei t>o ral 100 ral &c He went 6 it of sight with a snort and a roar Li i way t'ufc never was st-ei befora And perhaps hecrosa-id to some far-offshore, For si ace that lay he's been s sen no morj. Xi too ral 100 ral &*?.

Moeal. Ami now ye <% peds" who read this news, Be careful to avoid the U3ti, Of any machine like those steam shoes, b'or fear thoy carry you to the deuce. Ei too ral 100 ral &o.