POLITENESS.

Waikato Times, Volume VII, Issue 406, 19 December 1874, Page 1 (Supplement)

POLITENESS.

(JOHN BULL.) Politeness, a due and proper regard that is for the feelings, wishes, and pleasures of other people, is the thing that, perhaps, of all others renders life the easiest and the pleasantest : it is the oil that enables all the wheels of the complex machinery of social life to woi'k satisfactorily, What a pity it is then that it should be disregarded as it so frequently is in domestic lite, the place where of all others its softening influence is the most required. The constant intercourse of home life causes unsuitable tempers and dispositions to jar each other in a manner hardly possible in general society — how unwise then is it to relinquish the one quality which acts as a species of buffer between antagonistic temperaments. Besides, it is a cardinal mistake to regard politeness as so many unfortunately do, as a species of " company manner," to be assumed or relinquished simultaneously with our best clothes ; it is, properly considered, a most valuable quality, involving self-con-trol, more unselfishness, and a certain regard for the feelings of others. We wish we could regard it as by any means a common virtue in the home circle, but fear it is very far indeed from being so : neither men nor women are blameless in this respect, but owing to their gentler and softer natures women are less frequent offenders than the lords 'of creation. Still they frequently allow themselves a license in saying unpleasant things to their own immediate belongings, that they would never take in the hearing of a stranger. They argue, "It is hard if you can't say what you think to your own husband, or sister, or relative." Granted — but the very same thing, if necessary, may be said in different ways — why not select the one which will neither wound the feelings nor rouse the temper of the listener? Many of the bitterest and most irreparable disagreements in mirried life have arisen, not from any want of absolute affection but from a carelessness on one side or the other, frequently on both, as to the manner in which subjects on which there may be a difference of opinion are remarked upon. It is almost impossible that two people can, even though they be busband and wife, think alike on every subject, the pi'obabilities are that on nrsny their opinions would be widely different. Why, however, should they not be as politely tolerant of each other's views in private as conventionality would force them to be in public ? Why should the wife's expression of opinion be received with* 'Maria don't be a fool,' or the husband's with, ' Really, John, you are quite silly' 1 We have already said the men are the worst offenders, perhaps, because they care less for, and consequently think less of, the small couitesies of life, than do women. Still this reflection hardly consoles a woman when she first finds her husband punctillious in helping every j other woman over the raised stile, while he leaves her to climb a five-barred gate unassisted, nor is she free from a certain feeling of mortification when she finds he considers it too much trouble to dress for dinner with her alone, or to vouchsafe an answer to a question should he have the newspaper in his hand. But if* men and women fail grievously in reasonable courtesy towards eaoh other what shall we say of the rising generation of the young men and maidens, who seem to consider the world was made for their exclusive use and convenience, and to regard their elders as far too unimportant to be worthy of a moment's consideration ! If you stay in a couutry house with them it is their comfort and convenience which has to be studied under penalty of the exhibition of much sulkiness and other forms of bad temper- Though the guests may all assemble in good time, Miss Laura and Master Frederick disregard the sound of the dress-ing-gong, and keep the whole party awaiting their good pleasure. They usurp the conversation, thinking Henry's exploits at cricket, or" the salmon Mary has landed, of infinitely more consequence than anything you can possibly have to say, and interrupt yonr conversation without scruple if they wish to speak to your neighbour. In all the arrangements of the day it is the same thing ; they are to be first considered and their amusement satisfactorily provided for ; that once accomplished, their guests are welcome to as * much as they can obtain. But bad as this all is, it is less objectionable than the utter want of deference with which the young people of the day treat their parents. They are " very good friends " as they themselves say, but they have no scruple in showing that they regard all their ideas and wishes as rococo, or in setting them at defiance whenever it suits them. " Myr dear. I disapprove of your making a friend of Miss Jones. I don't wish yon to lunch there tomorrow," we heard a mother say the other day ; and her daughter, by no means an exceptional girl, replied; "What nonsense it is for you to think Julia fast 1 You see mamma, you're old-fashioned and don't understand." Now, even if this young lady were determined on having her own way, she might surely have expressed her intention more politely. Boys from the time they left school till they had been " licked into shape," as the phraso is, either in a regiment or by friction against their fellow.men, were rarely at anytime anything but *• cubs " ; but we note with alarm either that regimedts are not what they were or that contact with the world has lost its effect, at any rate the period of cubdom appears to be sadly increasing in length. Of schoolboys we do not speak ; it has for so long been inculcated upon them as a fine and manly thing to be rude, loud, Belfish, and domineering, that it is hardly a subject for surprise that they should glory in saying impertinent things to their elder sisle •, and ia tormenting and tyrannizing

over thaii* younger ones. Bat is this state oi things a healthy one ! Is it well that young people should be brought up.in utter selfishness, studiously nsglectfdl of the courtesies of life? If not, iti behoves the fathers and mothers' of the rising gene* ration to look to it at once, to insist dn proper de* ference to themselves, and on courtesy front their childrei "to those with whoni thry may come in Contact from the highest tj Lao West.

NEW CLERGY ACT. "On the 7th ultim o, an Act was passed respecting colonial and other clcrgv. Jt recites that, by divers Acts, certain dis abilities were imposed on per sons ordained by bishops not being bishops of the United Churchf sof England and Ireland ; that th* Act dissolving the union between the Churches of England and Ireland having passed, it was desirable to amend the law respecting persons having beea ordained by bishops not being bishops of either of the separate Churches, or of the united Church. Certain enactments are repealed, and except as mentioned, colonial or other clergy are not to officiate without permission from the Archbishop of the province, nor to hold any preferment without such con* sent, The statute points out the persons exempted, and also the penalties to be imposed for offendingagainst the same. Either of the Archbishop, mconsecrating any person to the office of bishop, fo* the purpose of exercising episcopal functions eU»* where than in England, may, if he thinks fit, d»» pense with the oath of due obedience to the Arofc; bishop. By the 7th section it is provided thai *• if any person shall officiate as priest or deacon in any church or chapel in England contrary to the provisions of this Act, or if any bishop not being a bishop of a diocese in England, shall perform epiacojuu functions in any such church or chapel without £hi consent in writing of the bishopof the diocese in which t'.ie church or chapel is situate, he shall fo* every such offence forfeit and pay the sum of £10 to th© Governors of Queen Anne's Bounty, to be reoovftred by action brought within six months after tlttl totit* mission of such offence, by the treasurer oHJto mSA Bounty, in one of her Majesty's Superior" W&fo m Common Law ; and the incumbent or curate ofattj church or chapel who shall knowingly allow »uoh offence to be committed therein shall be subject id a like penalty, to be recovered in the samermannori

Jenny Lind was recently in Paris, btti nothing conld iuduce her to sing to Frenchmen. Bab she did open her month to sing at Dr Evans's, the Dentist, to a few friends, and warbled some of her choicest songs . The German Government has paid £1,830,000 as compensation for injuries sustained daring Ihe war by inhabitants of Lower Aliaoe* Desjde £270,000 for provisions, horses and other reqoisu tions in Upper Alsace. An enterprising firm lately paid 200 rupees for the privilege of collecting the hair shorn from the heads of the pilgrims at the Magh Mela of AlUhahad, and the canillary harvest, it is said, has been shinped off to England to be made into chignons. A most unjustifiable mnrder (says the Bruet Herald) was perpetrated in Milton last week. A well-known two-legged ruffian and bally having killed, maimed, or otherwise maltreated 6f*ry tnem^ her of his own sex within his reach, suddenly turned upon his patient, long suffering, and innOoeufc Wife, and having felled her to "the earth wfth one brutal blow, he trampled upon "her inanimate body uufcfl death rpleaßed her from her sufferings and the violence of her cruel sponse. It will dotraot a little, perhaps, from the price of this paragraph when we mention that the offender is a well-known game cock belonging to a Milton tradesman. Considerable interest was created in the eastern portion of the town of Eastbourne a swimming match having been arranged between a young fisherman, named Knight, and a very handsome mastiff dog, belonging to Mr H. M'Nary, who is at present sojourning there. The matob was fixed^ for ten o'clock, and the distance was 200 yard* seaward. At a given signal both man and dog; took the water, but the natural instinct of the animal evidently pointed in the direction of saving life, as he immediately swam to his opponent, and endeavoured to keep him afloat by placing its bead under his chin. Knight, however, being an expert swimmer, and nofc appreciating the proffered! kindness of his four-footed friend, struck out with a view of winning the wager, but Osoar was nofc to be thwarted in his good intentions, and sought to save his opponent by endeavouring to oeoord him by the neok ! It being impossible to decide the> race, Knight was taken into the boat, and the dog swam ashore amH»t considerable applause at the" saeracity which he had .shown. The New York Times publishes a communication in which the writer says : — "Strange sounds are often heard rising from the waters of out coastal that would be apt to astonish the superstition* listener if he wore not acquainted with the unoffending cause of all tHe disturbance. Sometimes it rises in the air like the bang of a huge dram, and again seems to steal over- the waves with a low, murmuring wail ;* and if you were to place your ear close to the surface, the strange sounds would appear to come from five or six different places. Sailors are often started by the ' bom bom' that seem to steal over the vessel, seeming to their ears more iike the drum of some long lost crew than the voice Of an insignificant membejr of the family of fishes. For such it is, " and well-known as the bearded drum-fish. But how it produces the queer musical notes is a something that it would be well for our ' Fish Commission' to discover this summer on the Sound. Another faithful satelitepf Enterpe is found in the noisy maigre. It makes a strange cooing moan, accompanied by a sharp croak thaican be heard at a depth of 150 ft. The fish attuns a length of about 6ft. and weighs about 401b. "What these sounds are for we know not, but on the prin ciple that all things are for some particular purpose, they must have a meaning. That the imperfect. voice of the fish is used to express discontent and pain I have no doubt, as in numerous experiments on & fish in the Gulpn of Mexico, called the grunt, I found that the voice was used and modulated as with other animals. When touched with the knife the grunts that it gave vent to fairly rose to a shriek, and when dying its moans and sobs were almost disagreeably human. I shall never forget/ the firsts one of these veritable porkers that I caught. Thinking that my bate required replenishing I hauled in, and found nicely hooked a grunt, and no sooner had 1 placed him in the boat than lie commenced a series of grunts and sobs that bid fail to take me by storm. Now he would make a low noise, and gradually swell the ' melody' and finally hurl at me such a blaat of entreaties, all of which were produced without a struggle, that my bettor nature was aroused, and I made haste to toss him back, and as he disappeared he uttered a .squeak which, together with the splash, sounded to me like a bonaflde ' thank you,' and I have no doubt but, what it was. Baron Humboldt mentions an occurrence which he witnessed in the South Sea 1 'About 7 o'clock in the evening the sailors were terrrified by an extraordinary noise in the air like tho beating of tambourines followed by sounds that seemed to come from the ship, and resembled the escape of air from boiling liquid.' Many other instances could be called up to prove that fishes use their vocal organs to some purpose, but the ahoy -serve to show that they have a well-defined voi<* , d that it is capable of modulation."