MISCELLANEOUS.

Waikato Times, Volume VII, Issue 399, 3 December 1874, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

In the coursio of his addreßs on the occasion of laying the foundation of the new Episcopal church at Naaeby, -Bishop :sevill remarked :— " I cannot close my remaiks without noticing the presence of a special body, whose regalia, at once strike the eye. First, then, I thank those gentlemen for the readiness with -which they have accepted the task' of laying this stone to-d ay . lam grateful for the readiness With which they have come forward. Some, howevar might say : • Why do you, as a special church officer, the .Bishop in the province, seek assistance from othejp ?' I reply : When I perceive the readiness which the lodge as in this place, displays to assist such works, I ask nSyself' \\ hat am I that I should discourage the expression« 6£ it ?, If anything would be a justification, if justification were needed, this would be ; but when I recall the histofVbf the Freemasons, and look into the v;ata of the past, these men often wero the only ones who could undertake such works ; m all history being the readiest, and in some places, as I have said, the only body that could, from their intelligence, do so— l say they are doing a work cognate to the principles they profess. I need scarcely remind you, My Masonic biethern, of the works they have done —the Cathedrals of Milan, Cologne, and York Minster, which were built, not m one age, but by the continuous effoits of the body of Masons from a«e to age. The archives of this have been proved ; in York, to this day, there exists the history of these. The age in whioh we live is not satisfied with teaching, and therefore I gladly note that the body of Freemasons, without slighting one of the east of those secret a 'and mysteries, always are found to. take part in. works of veneration and religion. Therefore, I accept their services, and invite the Worshipful Master to put in these foundations, after the forms peculiar to the office, on behalf of the Church of England." After unscrewing the top, and examining the interior Bunder's undo took a seat on tl p plug, and begou to discuss with Bunder tbe question of Cicsansm and the depressions, in the price of pig iron. In the very heat of the controversy the superintendent up at the "reservoir turned tha water on for the purpose of washing out the pipes. Two minutes afterwards Buudor saw his uncle suddenly shoot 20ft. into the nir, followed by a column of water aix inches thick, and during the succeeding quarter of an hour, while the fountain continued to play, old Horace Bunder remained on the top of that column, with his legs pointing in quick fluocession to all points of the compais, and to the earth and ho the sky, sometimes resting on his stomach, sometiips with the water in the mall of his back, but never f>T a. moment at rest. Bunder tried to turn the patent valvo in the ping, but it wouldn't work, and he could only stand there and gaze on the scene, and ieel sick, aa he waited for his venerable relative to come down. At last the old man did descend, all of a sudden, landing upon his back in the mud. Any other man would hnvo expiessed himself in violent language, but Horace merely rose, squeezed the water out of his hair, picked up his hat "and shook it, glanced contemptously at Bunder, went up and kicked the patent fireplug, jammed his hnt firmly over his eyes, took the four o'clock train to' town, and bafore he changed his clothes altered his will so that 40,000 dollars he intended for Bunder go to any man who will invent on infernal machine which will exterminate .Bunder's patent rights, for that fire-plug can be had at a sacrifice. — Max Adeler. What was needed then, is wanted «cw, is most forcibly shown in the following comments of a correspondent to the London Chronicle of 1757 . — Every viHsge liaß one or two little boarding-schools with an inscription over the door, " young ladies boarded and educated." French and dancing is to be taught at these schools, neither of which can be of any use to young people of this sort. The parent* may imagine tbe first may procure them a place . bufc in this they may. be greatly mistaken, as, \ believe, there is, hardly a single instance of a girl's having learnt that language to any degree o,f perfection at one of these schools, •As to the last, it cannot possibly be of use to them, and that it would be of much more consequence they ihould, be* well instructed how to wash the floor, than how to dance upon it. The needlework taught at these schools is of a kind much more likely to strengthen the natural propensity in all young minds to show and dress, than to answer Tkny hou»ev\ ifelv purpose. How disappointed will the 'honest shopkeeper be, if, at an ago when he thinks proper to take his daughter from school, he should expect any assistance from her ! Can he suppose a young lady will weigh his loap for him ? or perform any other oflbe, the gentility of her education has exalted her so far above? Though ignorant of everything else, she will be so perfect in the lessons of pride and vanity, that she will despise him and his nasty shop, and quit both, to go off with the first man who promises her a silk gown and a blonde cap. In short, the plan of these schools appears to me much better calculated to qualify tbe scholars to be quite the reverse to make of them industrious frugal wives to honest tradesmen, or sober faithful servants I would propose that schools for the education of such girls should be kept by discreet women : those who have been boneekeepers in large families would be the proper persons for this purpose .• that the young people should be taught submission and humility to their superiors), decency and modesty in their own dress and behaviour. That they should be very wel) instructed in all kinds of plain work, reading, writing, accompts, pastry, pickliag, pieaerving, and other branches of cookery j be taught to weave, and wash lace and other linen. Thus instructed they r may be of great comfort and assistance ta their parents and husbands : they may have a right to expect the kindest treatment from their mistresses ; they are sure to be respected as useful members at society ; whereas young ladies are the most useless of all Q-od's creatures. The Pleasant Creek Xews is responsible for the following good story: — A most unfortunate exchange of property is. reported to have occured here recently, as o consequence of the joviality of tno residents of this district. They had 1 been spending tho day ot Stawell, in the transaction of business, nnd when evening came, jjassed a few hours in social I intercourse. The night was far advanced » hen they mounted their horses at the door, the animals were more intelligent than their masters, who, as they separated, allowed their steeds to choose the road. The nags were used to this work, and one cantered off towards Great Western, while the other trotted soberly on towards another outlying centre of settlement. Unfortunately, in tho dark, cacli had mounted the other's horse, and when the spouse of Mr B. rose on hearing the well-known sound of old Surefoot's hoof, and went to admit her husband, she found a stranger. Her trouble was in no way lessoned whon she fmnd that A. wa^ unable to explain, and in fact fell fast asleep in a chair as soon as be entered the house. Meanwhile B. fared even worse. He jogced along on his friend's pony until he reached the latter* residence, and pulled up in due course before the door. Mrs A., however, as a lady of spirit, felt it incumbent upon her to punish drunkenness in her spouse, and before her supposed husband had time to notice that he was in a strange country, she belaboured him soundly with a stout switch. He roared lustily, and became almost sober by the time that his assailant Jiad discovered her mistake, and mingled her apologies with inquiries for her miising lord. Messrs A. and 8., have since arranged that they will never ngain ride horses of the same colour when coming to Stawell to spend the evening. The Argus ef October 20, says that the Minister of Tublie Instruction has presented a voluminous report to the Legislative Assembly, irom which it appears that the number of childien on tho school rolls is 207,826, with 98,746 in average attendance. Less than 16,000 ot these scholars on the rolls during 1873 had been hitherto attending private schools. Comparing the returns of 1873 with those ot 1874, thece is iin increase of 56,000 on the rolls, and 24,000 in average attendance derived from other 6ouicei than the private schools. The number of schools in operation nt the end of June was 1,113, viz., State schools m buildings tbe property of the Minister, 531 ; State schools in leased buildings, 457 ; capitation Schools, 125. The Minister thinks it advisable that the penal clauses of the Act should be enforced generally by the Local Boards of Advice as the representatives of the people rather than by (ho department, which has not equal opportunmes of knowing the circumstances of each case, and that funds shonld be placed at their disposal for t>o doing, the police being instructed to report any flagrant enses of non-attendance, and prosecute under tho directions of tho Board. The difi'erent orders and friendly societies, including the Foresters, Oddfellows, Tomplars, and others, have had the subject of life assurance brought prominently bofore them for some time back. Mr Donaldson, the Government agent for industrial insurance) has visited the various lodges, and a cordial welcome has been accorded to the Government scheme. During the past week Mr Donaldson visited tho lodges of the M.U I O. Oddfellows at Eangiora, Kaiapoi, and, Leithfleld. After Ihe disposal of the u#ual lodge business a shoi t address was given, the scheme was discuised, an Industrial Society wos initiated m the several lodges, and agents nominated as follows :— For llangiora, Mr R. Aherno ; for Xajapoi, Mr E. G-. K.u-r ; for Leitbfield, Mr J. Calder. Ihese gentlemen will hold their respective appointment! directs from the Chief Commissioner as Government Agents, the Government supplying all the books, vouchers, &c, re quncd ior the carrying out, of tho ecbcuic.

In what was intended foi a very pretty Bj.oech a gn al blunder was perpetrated by adisMnguk-he-i guest, who was asked to the wedding of a young c mple :n a countiy place where he happened to be staying, and was also called upon to propose the health of the bride and bridegroom at the mibtequent breakfast. •' To turn up all our good wishes for the happy p<*ir whom we have seen united this morning," he Mid in conclusion, " we caunot. I am sure, do better than express * desire that the result of their uuion may prove •tnotly analogous to that of the parents of the fair bride." Whereupon the "fair bnde " went into hysterics, the bridegroom's eyes tiased daggers, the bridesmaids coloured and looked down, and the master of the house blew his nose violently. He who had caused all this commotion wisely sat down and held his peace, wondering at the effect of his innocent compliment to the host and hostes. He soon, however, found some one to enlighten him. " She i< not their daughter »t all/ his informant explained, " but a neice came to liye with, them when her own father and mother were divorced." Eecentlj, s »ys the Ballarat Free Press, Mr J. N. M Intosh brougli to our office a staple of wool of great length and splendid quality, the 6ame being a sample of tho clip obtained from six pure-bred Lincoln she^p, which had been imported by Messrs M'lnrosh and Oakes last year. The length of the staple was exactly twelve inches, and the value of the fleeces and the size of the carcase may bo gathered from the following statement, furnished to us by Mr M'lntosh. The sheep — two ewes and four rams— were shorn on their arrival, and this is the second colonial shearing to which they have besn subjected. The weights of the separate fleeces were as follows :— first ram, 241b ; second ram, 221b ; third and fourth rams, 201b each j first ewe, 211b ; second ewe, 201b. Fancy a flock of 100,000 of such animals ! They have already increased, one of the owes having given birth to twins, a male and female. The sheep ore on Messrs M'lntosh and Oakes' run at Campbells River, and wo have ne doubt that the spirited enterprise of the gentlemen named will bo amply fjwarded. Yankee eloquence continues still to improve. A. reporter sends tho following sketch :— " A lawyer in Milwaukee was defending a handsome young woman accussed of stealing from a large unoccupied building in tho night time, and thus he spoke in conclusion— ' Gentlemen of the jury I am done. When I gaze with enraptured eyes on the matchless beauty of this peerless virgin, on whose resplendent charms suspicion never dared to breath ; when I behold her radiant in the glorious bloom of lustrous loveliness which angelic sweetness might envy, but could not eclipse ; before which the star on the brow of the night grows pale, and tho diamonds of Brazil are dim ; and then reflect upon the utter madness and folly of supposing that so much beauty would expose itself to the terrors of an empty building in the cojd damp dead of night, when innocence like hers is hiding itself among the snowy pillows ot repose. Gentlemen of tnejury, my feelings are too .overpowering for expression, and I thiow her into your arms for protection against this foul charge, which the outrageous malice of a disappointed scoundrel has invented to blast the fair name of this lovely maiden, whose smiles shall be the reward of the verdict which I know you will give.' The jury acquitted her without leaving their seats." Many accounts having recently come to hand of cattle "having been killed through eating too freely of trefoil, the following cure, suggested by a correspondent of a contemporary, may be worth a trial : " Let the owners of stock have chloride of lime always on hand, and they will never loose a beast. When a bullock or cow is attacked take lour drachms of chloride of lime to one quart of water, and .drench the animal with it and you will find the swelling x)f the Bides go down as they hove up. The mixture is perfectly safe, and may be given with impunity." Whether jfchte remedy be effectual or not, it hnß at least the merit of being easy of application and inexpensive.