BLABBING.

Waikato Times, Volume VII, Issue 338, 14 July 1874, Page 2

BLABBING.

Among the many modes of tormenting prnctised by the ordinary woman of society, one of the -worst is her habit of blabbing, or repeating to one dear friend the things that have lately been said and done by another dear friend, Some women are positively ill-natured and blab from malice- Old maids whoso life has been soured bj disappointments, or who from want of proper education in their youth have no satisfactory means of occupation, are sometimes found to bo taintpd with this vice. Telling tales is to tliem what torturing flie3 is to naughty children. The emotion displayed by a mother when they tell her that her son at Osforcl is constantly in the company of such or such a well-know n scapegrace ; the disquiet of a young girl when they hint to her that her lover is generally believed (o be deeply in debt, or when they repeat to her some remaik of his which they know she is likely to think "shocking;" the annoyance visible in the faco of a sensitive man when they retail some careless and uncomplimentary remark made about him by some one whose good opinion he values — all these tokens of suffering cause them positive pleasure. The tenor which these people inspire among their neighbors gives them a sense of power, and affords them some compensation for the neglect of men, the condescending airs of mothers and wives, the sickening frivolity of the young, tlie impudence of officinls, the tyranny of cabmen, and all the other real or fancied injuries of society. Every London coterie and every country village numbers at least one of these harpies ; and a man who cannot reckon one among his own neai kinswomen may think himself fortunate. " J?ss iuvss atuh solche JCauze ffeben." But these are not, after all, the only women who do harm and inflict suffering by their habit of blabbing. "To blab," as Dr Johnson says, " usually implies rather though tlesaness than treachery ; though it may be used in either sense." The majority of women blab, not from malice, but, as somebody is said to have whistled, for want of thought. And piobably quite as much pain and annoyance is caused by thoughtless as by treacherous blabbing. In this, the truest sense of the word, every fifth or sixth woman in society is a blab. Two elementary principles of social well-being are more or less systematically violated by numbers of women in society. One of these principles is that there arc many things which, though not in the 6<rict sense of the word secrets, should not be repeated. The other is that there are some persons to whom certain things, not secrets, should not bo repeated. Both these principles are comprised under the more general maxim that the sayings and doings of friends are not common property. And both of them are, to the infinite misery and discomiort of society, neglected by tho blab. The common blab — that is to say, every fifth woman in society — proceeds upon the principle that whatever happens has not been communicated to her as a " solemn secret" she is at perfect liberty to communicate to another. Not only does she think it perfectly lawful to communicate to her friend of Tuesday whatever may have been said or done by her friend on Monday, but she looks upon this liberty as a kind ef natural right, and resents the notion of putting any restraint upon herself in such a matter. " How sensitive you men are !" she cries, whenever anyone after a picnic, a water party, or any other day of pleasure — when perhaps many unguarded words have been spoken, and some unpremeditated deeds have been done — ventures to suggest that it will not add to the day's enjoyment to be continually talking about it all next week. At the close of any successful day of this kind, when women have been of the party, and when the usual remark is made that " We have had a perfect day," the reply that naturally occurs is, " Yes, if wo might never hear another word about it." But such a wish is very seldom expressed, for the simple reason that it would bo absolutely disregarded by almost every woman of the company. Every one knows that tho day after the feast is the time when the blab is in her glory. Part of the next morning she spends in writing off a few piquant details to her mother and sister and most intimate friends j for tho blab is generally quite as free with her pen as witli her tongue. Her friends say of her, " What a capital letter she writes !" and encourage her by their applause and keen appreciation of her funny stories. She has acquired n. reputation for being amusing, and she knows how to maintain it. If tho sayings and doings of the preceding day fail to afford matter of sufficient amusement or interest, she is not thereby baflled. There is always the imagination to draw upon. Tho cleverest blabs — tho«o who nro most welcome to the women and most dreaded by tho men of their society — do not rely on memory only for their stock in trade. There are few things so funny in fact but that they may be made a little funnier by a touch or two of fiction. And tho woman who is good at repeating i* almost always good at inventing. The talcs which tho blab sends to her friends in her letters are of course freely used by those friends for their own purposes of talk and letter writing. And the man who has taken one of these ladies down to dinner on Monday may have the satisfaction of feeling that it is far from improbable that by Wednesday somo of his remarks will be circulated in two or three of the remotest counties. Bnt it is in talk, of course, and nearer home, that the blab is most effective. Most women would be utterly at n low for sufficient conversation to fill up tho paps after dinner, at afternoon ten, and on rainy days, if they wero forbidden to repeat or discuss the sayings and doings of their friends. Drew i"» r.o doubt a topic which will fill up a good deal of time. But even dress is not an inexhaustible subject, and it has the great disadvantage of not being available in mixed company — that is. when thpre are men present. Besides, interesting as the subject of dresi is, it yields interest to the matters handled by the blab. She is a kind of sjren, exercising a fatal fascination, from which men, as well as women, when onco they have allowed themselves to become used to listening to her, find it very difficult to disengage themselves. You try to escape from tho room. She arrests you with one of her usual formulas : — " Oh, I must tell you what Mrs A. said IUo other day. She was talking about jouj" or, "I

wmt your opinion on Mr B. Do jou think him clever?" It la of lifctlo use to weigh your words in talking to her. For, however innocent and judicious what you say may be, you know tlint she will retail it in such a way as to mnlte jou out cither malicious or Billy. If your observations on Mr B. are disparaging, she- tells your friends you " can't endure him." If what > on say is complimentary, you are represented as quite " devoted" to hiru ; whereas perhaps all the while B. is to you a most ordinary person, unassocinted in your thoughts with any feelings of intolerance or devotion. — Saturday Beweio.