PHILOSOPHIC MATRIMONY.

Waikato Times, Volume VI, Issue 329, 23 June 1874, Page 2

PHILOSOPHIC MATRIMONY.

IN TWO CnAPTKES. — CHAPTEE 11. As Collinson was walking at a great pace along Baker street, one Redman caught him by the shoulder, and begged him, if he contemplated suicide, to pause and consider. ' You cannot undo it, you know,' said Redman ; so you had better tell me what is up, and then I will" advise you honestly whether to hang yourself or not.' Eedman belonged to the same set as Collinson ; like him, he was a supporter of Woman's Rights ; like him, he figured at conversaziones like a male dancer in a ballet, and they were both members of a mutual admiration club. But Redman was not married ; he loved the society of clever women, and when they were pretty he invariably fell in love with them. But it was Platonic lore, which was very fortunate, because the majority of the ladies, who thus attracted him had husbands somewhere. Redman and Henry Collinson bad been intimate friends for many years, and had few secrets from one another ; so the latter, instead of quashing the subject in his thoughts, led the talk up to it. ' By Jove,' said he, ' hanging is not a bad idea. It had not occurred to me.' ' Come ; what is the matter ?' * Only a little domestic bother about servants and that, flly wife is so much engaged, especially since she took up lecturing, and — well, the children are neglected. I found this morning that their heads are not kept clean !' ' Pah ! Get rid of the nurse, to start with.' ' That is just what my wife said,' replied CollinbOfc; 'and indeed it h> the obvious course. But,

confound it ! every time I change a servant — and I am always at it now — it is for the worse/ ' Hum ! Fact is, you want to change the missis.' ' Redman!' ' Pooh ! Don't fire up, or T shall think I have touched a raw by accident. Of course, I was only trying to be epigrammatic' * Well, taken in the sense that it is a head that my household wants, you are right enough.' 'Hum!' said Redman. 'Let us take a walk in the Park, and don't you speak to me again until you are spoken to, and perhaps I may hatch an idea for you. There; stick that cigar in your mouth, and let it stop in it.' Henry Collinson religiously observed his friend's injunction, and was careful not to disturb the process of incubation ; for Redman's advice, when he did give it was always practical. It came rather quickly this time, for before the cigars were smoked out he stopped short and said : ' Look here ! You get a nursery governess, a parson's daughter for choice, who has had little brothers and sisters to look after, and knows something of household management. And you put her on a good footing at first, and make your servants understand that she is to be housekeeper, and that you will not stand any nonsense. You will save her salary and keep in the first month, and your house will be inhabitable, and the children kissable.' ' Redman, you are a genins !' cried Collinson, in delight. ' I never thought of that ; and yet it seems the most natural plan to adopt. I wish you could clench your advice by conjuring 1 up the right sort of girl for the situation.' 'I do not despair of doing that. Our friend, Mrs Noble, has always about a score of young ladies to get off, and she cannot make watchmakers of the whole lot. I dare say she will provide the very article you want.' 'To be sure ! Let us go and call on her at once.' ' With all my heart,' said Redman ; and they turned towards Kensington, where Mrs Noble resided. ' By-the-bye,' said Collinson, as they walked along, ' that watchmaking speculation is very good as a female employment scheme, but will it ever pay its way?' ' Never !' cried Redman*So I think,' said Collinson ; and he registered a mental vow that he would not provide a penny of that second five hundred pounds. His resolution was soon tested, for the lady they now called on was one of the principal promoters of the association, and he wanted her assistance. However, he took the bull by the horns rather shrewdly, for when Mrs Noble alluded to the difficulties she had to contend with (they found her busy with the accounts), he intimated that he never expected to receive any /eturn for the five hundred pounds he had already contributed, but •was consoled by reflecting upon the excellence of the object which his money had gone to support, although, indeed, it was rather a serious matter to him. So that, instead of asking for more, Mrs Noble thanked him for his past generosity ; and when he mentioned his present discomfort, and the proposed remedy, entered warmly into the matter. Redman's prognostication proved quite correct ; amongst her numerous protegees there was one who she thought would fit the position capitally. Her father had been a naval officer ; on his death ten years before, his widow had started a very small school for very small children ; but falling into bad health, the management of it had devolved principally on her daughter, who was at present twenty-three and an orphan. ' I have tried to get her some situation in a large hotel,' said Mrs Noble. ' but have failed ; so we have fallen back upon telegraphy. But she would prefer being a nursery governess, as she is fond of children and the open air. She is fairly educated, as women's education goes at present, but is not accomplished, and would not do for big children at all. — Nay ; you need not thank me ; you will relieve me of an anxiety if you take her, for one thing ; and for another, I am a principal cause of your wife's time being so much engaged. So that it will ease my conscience if I can help, in any way, to set your domestic affairs straight. When would you like to see Miss Tarrant ?' 4 As soon as possible,' replied Henry 'Collinson. 1 Well, it is now half-past eleven, /Will you call again at three ? She will be here then,' ' Redman,' said Collinson, when they were outside the house, ' your ideas are titanic ; you deserve a gold medal ; I offer you an oyster.' So they lunched