PROVINCIAL EXECUIIVE.

Waikato Times, Volume VI, Issue 320, 2 June 1874, Page 2

PROVINCIAL EXECUIIVE.

The following supposititious report of a meeting of the Pro- I vmcial Executive is from the Cross :- Special Report. [All member* of Executive present.] His Honor: What about those Esliinutcs? Mr Sheehan : Oh, they're all right. We'll carry them •lap through committee. Mr Solicitor Bevcridgo : So Reed thought be would do with the Education Bill. But he got nothing, not even the title. Mi* Dignan : I tould you he couldn't. And any one might have seen it with half an eye. I'm denominational, aud he's anything Mr Reed :It wasn't my fault. Nobody potted mo up in the fncta. Mr Beveridge [asidp] : It's little you rare for facks. [Aloud] : Sheehan should have taken that bill as be takei even thing else. Mr Dignan : He makes dummies of us. Mr Sheehan : Is that my fault ? Bo gob, my voice has always to howl among the wilderness of Councillors. You all make mistakes, and I'm obliged to come to the rescue Mr Bevendge : Hoot awa mun ; your new-fangled New Zealander notions just carry ye awa*. I never beard such a figger o' speech as that the Fencing Act wbs. The Magna Charta o' the North. Magna fiddlestrmgs ! Mr Sheehan : It wo* eloquence compared with Reed's dreadful hprceh on the Estimates, and the blunders he made in his calculation* to the Council. Why there win a regular gulf an ii bo ut Vis additions aud .subtractions on the £10,000 item. Mr Reed : This is the old story. Eh, look here you know, I'm disgusted, and would like to throw up the whole thing. Mr Bevcndge : Ah, But ye can't do that. They would say you were frightened out of it, for the di ©fulfill mulls jou'vo made. Mr Dignau : And wouldn't the public laugh at him then, and tho papers — Mr Reed : The Craw may go to blazes, where I lent all <li© TUnmes people, only they wouldn't go. Neither heaven nor Mr l>ip;nan, [interrupting] : jtfbw, don't swear. Ye didn't Irani Mint in the pulp — Mr Reed : Well nor 'the other place, 1 will «top me. I've muzzled tho Herald, I can do anything with him ; and I'll skin the Crojvnlue, nnd it« editor. Mr Uoveridge: Ou a\e! You said thnt before, but I think the boot's on the other leg now, i-in't it ? Mr Reed : Ah, wait till the editor gees to Wellington. I'll telouruph about him. Mr Bevendgp : Ye did that before 100, and people fay you told tho usual frightful hm which you make about those who oppose you. Mr Reed : Now, look here, I'll not stand that. His Honor : Gentlemen, this is a happy family. In my opinion you ought all to agree, and adopt the correct conclusions, which will be sern when they are discovered. But if you can't agree, you must try to agree as well ■■ you can. Mr Reed : Nover mind. I'll slate them in the Txoinlcler Mr Bevendpo : Gnc wa', you and the Twinkler too are about found out. Ye abuse every honett man this afternoon, and your partner next day creeps round the town and apologises, saying he is very sorry, and tiiat he has tried to stop you, and would the libelled mnn give him his advertisement or his bit o' printing ? It's all cant and ehnm, and downright hypocrisy. I don't mind you pitching into Lusk if you like ; he's got the Education Boards law matters. I should have got that, you know. Mr Reed : Ye§, and I should have had the Commissioner■hip. Digniti : And a fine job ye'd a' made 'ov it [aside.] Mr Sheehan : Hadn't we better go to business? What do you propose about your Education Bill, Beed ? Mr Rped : Its not my Bill. Didn't I pitch into it in the Twinkler? Mr Sheplian : Yes, and a confounded fool you made of yourself aftor voting for all its clauses. [Aside to Dignan.] The Cross is perfectly right ; Reed has no jugment or discretion, and knows nothing of politics. Mr Dianan [aside] : And lie knows a mighty deal less about many otlier things. [Aloud.] By the way; how about tlie-p oab faros? Mr Sheehan: Oh hang it; lay nothing about them. I'll manage Kelly. Mr Dignan : No, you won't ; ho swears he it going to inquire about them. Ho thinks £150 devilish stiff', and by St. Patr.ck it is stiff for cab fares. It is precious little I liavo spent. His Honor : Gentlemen, I think you should cease personal refei ences and come to business. You were speaking of the Education Bill. Mr Sheehan ; Oh, it's all right. We'll have to alter those confounded rating clauses in Reed's precious bill, and 1 would go in for a general rate on property, with peril t ps moderate fees added. Mr Dignan • I'm for denominational. How -will ye collect the fees ? The school-masters won't like the job. THs Honor : How about Dargaville's tax on gum ? Mr Sheehnn : By gum, that won't answer — its against all sound practice and political economy. It's thoroughly exceptional. His Honor: So is tho position of this province with respect to pum. By no other country and by no o(hor province in the colony is kauri gum produced; and so the subject may bo worth considering in its varied aspecti. If a deputation were to visit us wo could get the facts from them and the history of thp article, and of the Arabian and Now Zealand trees which drop their medicinal gums, ajd then we tould promise to take the subject into consideration.' All : Agreed. [Enter messenger with the evening paper ] Mr Sheehan (roadmg) : Hallo, Reed, what's this? Woll, jou have an idea of tho duties and discretion of a member of the Executive. (Reads) " We are requested by Mr G. M. Reed to present his compliments to Mr 11, H. Lusk and Mr Lnckie and to state that he hopps they will pnrdon his sremiug uon-reco^nition of their little personal attentions to him in the Crots, Mr Rood fully appreciates tho attention bestowed upon him personally, apart from criticism of his public act» ; but ho hopes that the pressure of public business will be accepted ns his excuse for the seeming discourtesy. In a few weeks, however, on the conclusion of the labours of tho Prowncial Council, he hopes to have leisure to attend to these little mnttprs, when lip will liaip much pleasure iti giving to these gentlemen the assurances of his appreciation of their personal attentions " What, tho deuce has this to do with your position as a paid official of tho prownce ? By Jove, this is worse and Mor'f You must have lost your head. Mr Tlopd : Woll, what right has the paper to attack me ? Mr Bi'verulpc : It only at'ackpd your absurdities as an official. It npvei assailed private character as you have done, of almost evpry honest man in tho community. Mr Reed . But li<ow can I write iv my paper against thote f Hows now when I am afraid of losing votes? I mean to t wuit till the Council is over, and then -

-U D.^Miii •i> 1/ ■„ tin i i. no,; h'iii^, i'il libi'l, will it be. Rx'il ? AJi yo've enough of flint on jour hands already. His Honor : Be*id<<«, |it» is a member of tie Oovornment, nn 1 should reply to criticism with fact and nrguraent. If he tier's not employ tbe"\ nbtno won't do — it in stale — people get tired of it ; and. b'-ide*. it damages the ro-tpect - bihtv of tlio Government. A Minister of the Crown or Provino cannot always bo inventing false accusations : it is cl'im uruiii to tho Government. I would suggest that per■m* should try to do their york with understanding, so as to disarm hostile criti is u and obtnin reasonable support. Mr Dignan : I don't like that ttbout the cab fare* ; it's too much, and there's sure to be a row. Header Wond will snoer nbout economy, and pret -nd to praise the carefulness of th? Government ; Buckland will bluntly condemn it as downright nbbery ; Carleton will quote Greek against the praetico ; Hifst will suy, ' wo never did anthins so extravaRint ;' and Durgarillo, in that jaunty way of his, will laugh at the whole thing, and say that oaeh man should pay his private expenses as manfully »•» he had paid his electioneering cosN It's a divil of a case, I can tell ye. Mr Siicrhiin : Nerer mind, U will be all right — we're got the mnjoritv ; the beggars hare no regular leader, ar.d they're split up . I've got over a fow, and will have more next week. If you would only all hold your tongues and not spoil things, I'll pull you through nil right. Mr Roed : Can you tell me anything about the timber ? Is it necessary to survey each tree on the leased ground before the woodman cuts it? Must we take the square root of the solid content*, or how? Mr Sheeban : Never mind that to-night. That's in the Lind Otlice, in Mr Tole'# department. I'll tee about it. HU Honor: Gentlemen, it would be very awLward if discussions of this kind should get abroad. If you cannot agree like brethren, try and assume outwardly the virtue of cordiality. Mr Dignan : Oh, everybody knows there are rows in the Exectitivo meetings, and lots of ill-temper and jealousy. Some of them think there will bp a split. Mr Sheehan : I'm not jealous ; and as to split — who talks of splitting?— the Treasurer carries the b»g. Do you or Beveridge want to give him ' the sack' too ? At this stage, says the reporter, the meeting broke up, the confidential clerk plaintively singing : Ih ' feathered' nests you should agree, For 'tis a painful sight ; That such a happy famileo Amonust themselves should fight.