AMERICAN CLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume V, Issue 265, 22 January 1874, Page 5 (Supplement)

AMERICAN CLIPPINGS.

HOW A DENTIST APPLIED NU'ROUbOXIDE GAS. (From the ' Brooklyn Eagle.') A young man, living in Cumberlandstreet, this city, had for many days suffered with a severe toothache, and, as a dernier resort, he decided to go to the dentist and have the bicuspid taken out. With that resolution well fixed in his mind and a dollar in his pocket, he sought a well-known " tooth carpenter " on Greene avenue. The dentist at once decided that two teeth would have to be drawn. The young man had not the nerve to stand the "double extract," so he told the dentist to bring forth the nitrous-oxide bag ; he would quaff himself into insensibility. He took the mouthpiece and drank away at the gas. The dentist at last thought he had enough. He spoke to him. A rational answer was returned. He must have more gas, and the mouthpiece was again inserted between his lips. When he had taken gas enough to render two men insensible to pain, the dentist thought he would apply a well-kown dential test to see if he was "gone." "Billy?" No answer. He totfched the patient's eyelid to see if there was any muscular contractionj ancl in &ado,jng accidently touched the eye itself. No' twitching lof any kind* He must be insensible. The forceps at once brought out a tooth with a jfremendous root, and at the same time brought that young man to his feet with a yell. " Why in the deuce, Doc, didn't you wait until I sucked some more gas ?" " More gas ? You took enough to put two men asleep, and besides, I touched your eyelids and even jjt my hand on your eye, and you never showed a twinge, and that is considered an infallible test." " That's good ; I wondered what in thunder you were fooling around my glass eye for." j The valve, which was found to be out of order, was repaired, the man's second tooth drawn, and he soon went away, chuckling to himself, "That's g6od feeling of my glass eye to see if woud twitch." IMPROVING AN OPPORTUNITY.* A sad eyed boy, with dirt on his chin and fear on his nose, went into a Detroit police station, ancl, having stated that he was homeless waif, asked humbly to be sent to the State Reform School. " Wouldn't he prefer to go to Workhouse?" "0, no! he had a brother in the Reform School, and he would like to be with his deer brother. Still, he didn't want to go out and steal something to qualify himself for the school." This touched the heart of a gentleman present, who, after consulting the Sergeant, said, " I guess we can flx it, my dear boy ; I am going to leave my wallet on the desk, and the Sergeant and I will go up stairs. If you take the wallet it will be stealing, and then you can be sent to the Reform School, as you wish." So the wallett was deposited on the desk, the men went up stairs, and when they came down, not only was the property gone, but " The boy, O, where, was he ? " Alas !he had bettered his instructions and vamosed the reach of justice, leaving the owner of the pocketbook minus by $60 worth. Singularly enough, the lad hasn't yet come back, to be sentenced and sent to the school-

THE TROUBLES OF WAU LEE. Mr. William Lee, of the Ontariostreet laundry, has not left Cleveland, although he has not appeared of late to the newspapers. The facts is that Mr. Lee has devoted himself strictly to business during the last six or eight months, and has thereby amassed a smalled amount of cash, which is destined to be expended in carrying him again to his native land over the salt, salt sea. But before leaving it is simply an act of justice to state that Mr. Lee has attempted faithfully to submit to the heathenism of this benighted country, and if he does not carry away a fair impress of hospitality or feeling of love to Brother Jonathan the fault has not been his, but that of the angular brother on whose bosom he attempted to lean. But it will be simply an act of justice to friend Wav to allow him to explain his own feelings, as he did on Saturday last in conversing with a ' Leader ' reporter. He unburdened himself as follows :—: — 'Me no likee dam Melican man. Melican man comee in my laundry,

spittee on floor, chew, cheu . Bringee shiitee, say, ' Thust, Wav Lee ? ' Wav Lee say, 'No thust, thust dead.' Mclican man say. ' Rat cater, Tpunchee.' Punchee Wav Lee's head, pull his pig tail. Wav Lee chop-chop head to fleece officer, Fleece officer say, ' Cheap John— one, two, thiee, bouncee.' Shakee me pig tail and say, ' Climb.' Wav Lee climbs— comee homee. Mehcan man steal shirt and he climb to." Wav Lee attempted to go to Sunday school, and his story is as follows :— "Me go on Sundlay day to Josshouse. Me take settee and Melican man's boyee come along. Boyes say, ' Here's China.' More boyee come. Pull pig tail and say, 'Bully for Chineeman.' Me get mad arid swear. Fleece officer romee long, take me to station. Payee five dollee and sixty cents ; go home to wash, wash. Say, Dam Melican country. ! "Me then go on street car. Melican women looks at me and laughee lound. One speakee low, ' him nig 1 One speakee low, too, and say, ' Him rat eater.' Me gettee mad and say, 'Me ! Chinaman — me washee-washee. Me no nig. No nig. Me no rat eater. Big | lie.' Melican woman scream. Conductor run in. Him say, ' Who's up ?' Melican woman say, ' Dirty China 'suited me.' Conductor he takes my | stampees, and he say, ' Get.' Wav Lee i gets, fall on the ground aild breakee nose. Officer come up. He say, ' Dlunk again — Culneel.' Me say, 'No dlunk.' He say, 'Too thin.'-^Takee me by collar and talcee me to station. Judge say, ' Here again, Chinee ?' Me ! go out, pay ten dollee and fifty cents. Me go home m'addee — red hot maddee, swear, bleak dishes, shave off pigtail, buy plug hat, shut up laundry and go back to China." THE COOLEST BURGLAR ON RECORD. Policeman Badger, of the Tenth station, had a bit of experience the other night which he is not fond of talking about. It was past midnight as he was leisurely pushing his beat through Jes-sop-street, and as he was opposite Dray ton and Fogg's jewelry store he observed gleams of light through the chinks of the shutters, and he rapped at the door. "Is that you policeman ?" asked a voice within. "Yes,/ answered Badger. " Well, it's only me. It's all right. Kind o' chilly out, isn't it ?" "Yes." " Thought so. I was just fixing the fire. Good night." Badger said "Good night," and pursued his way. An hour afterwards Badger passed through Jes^|^treet again, and again he saw the liglrc invtiie jewellery store. It didn?t look right, ahd he banged at the dooi; loudly. , <_„ " Hallo ?'' cried the voice within. " Is it you, policeman'?" "Yes." * " All right.iw^on't you come in and warm yourself? It won't hurt anything for you to slip from your beat a few minutes." The door opened and Policeman Badger entered, and he found the inmate to be a very gentlemanly looking man, in a linen duster. " Come right up to the stove, policeman. Excuse me for a moment." The man took the ash-pan from the bottom of the stove and carried it down into the cellar and emptied it, and when he had returned and wiped his hands, he said, with a smile : "Chilly night, isn't it?" " Yes." "Chilly outside and dull inside. (Another smile,) New goods for the spring trade and have to keep our eyes open. Lonesome work, this watching all night ; but I manage to find a bit of comfort in this. Won't you join me in a tip ? You'll find it the pure thing." And the man produced a black bottle and a tumbler. Policeman Badger partook and having wiped his lips and given his fingers a new warming, he left the store and resumed his beat, satisfied that all was right at Drayton and Fogg's. But the morning brought a new revalation. Drayton and Fogg's store had been robbed during the night of 6000 dollars worth of watches and jewellery, and, although Policeman Badger carried in his mind a complete doaguerreotype of the robber, the adroit rascal has not yet been found.

THE PEOPLE, PUPS, AND PESTS OF OMAHA. (From the Omaha Bee.) A rattling ratting excitement transpired at the " Bee" office lately. Anyone who has experienced the terrible sensation produced by a rat running up inside of the pantaloons will appreciate the unpleasant situation in which Mr. Richards, proprietor of Illinois House was placed. One of the employes of the " Bee" office had brought up into the counting room from the press room a trap containing a rat of immense size. Mr. Richards is the owner of a very valuable rat dog, and he and his ratter were called in. Quite a number of men assembled to see the fun. It was noticed that there were two or three rat holes in, the counting room, and to prevent the escape of the rat, in case the dog missed him, each hole was guarded by a gentleman, who placed his foot over it. Mr. Richards was one of those who stood guard. All being in readiness, the door of the trap was thrown open and the rat made to jump out. It struck the floor right side up, and the dog sprang for him, but missed him. The rat doubled on the dog and then made a beeline for the hole guarded by Mr. Richards, the canine being in hot pursuit. The rat had probably been through that hole many a time before, and notwithstanding it was completely covered by the foot of Mr. Richards, he disappeared from sight, to the astonishment of the dog and the crowd as well. " He's gone, sure enough!" exclaimed one.

" No, he isn't '"' shouted Mr. Richards. *' Heie he is, up my pantaloons 1" Mr. Richdids .stood shaking, with his aim>> spieadout, as if receiving an electric shock, and he ccitainly appeared as if he were despeiatcly trying to shrink himself into nothing. However, he had the presence of mind not to attempt to get at the rat with his hands, for had he done so he would undoubtedly have received an ugly bite. The crowd comprehended the predicament he was in, and, hurriedly coming to his rescue, they quickly pulled off his pantaloons, when the rat jumped out, much to Mr. Richards' relief, and again made for the hole, but was captured by the dog and killed. Mr. Richards declares that he never again wants to experience a similar sensation.