MISCELLANEOUS.

Waikato Times, 17 January 1874, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

Why have T called an octopus the most- niisrrnble of created being* P Surely n Scottish clergyman in bn«l fmor with hit parishioner* is in a still mure pitiable pliglit ; but then, of pourw, the clergy inn n «m not created one; lie voluntarily get* himself into his unpleasant shape, though that can scarcely be considered a mitigntion of Ins woe. Htere is a Ret Mr" Mnekeri-ci on his trial, as'it were, before Inn flock They have objected to his seltleineit us pa«tor of Omfncii. Would ton like to hear some of their objections ? and you can fancy what the unhappy presentee's ferimffs must have bten vVhile they were mnkin;.' them. One ' witnest' ohjecled to Mr Mnckcrtey's hands, or rather, to Ins use of them. He said — ' They were ulwnys in hit pocket, or keeping the line of his sermon, or ficherin-ficherin, as if something annoyed- liim.' Another objected to iff Mackersey's • silver-gray sort of eyelashes;' and another to b'u e\e itself, ' from winch,' he said, 'there was no luve looming.' Now, really, in the cauld north, where packet-hand-kerchieft are not urerelr article* of ornvnent, the pOrti* niim might be forgiTen for too eonsiantly putting hit hand* intd his pockets j and at to the fichcrm-fichrrin, as if tometh ng anno\ed him, 16 teems more than probable that »!■• whole congregntion endea>ored to annoy him, anil were pretty •urcesa'ul. At for th«r ' »ilver-gray eyelashes/ one might hare hoped aomc members of hit congregation would have giren him n hint- to dye th«nn j while for the 'love' that wat required 'to loom from hit ey<",' did they consider the. imoossibility of its netting there in pretence of tuch a rerv unloving audirnce ? Some nthrrt, especially the schoolmatters (as bv calling bound) preferred their objections agnuitt Mr Mackersey'f sermons, nnd were willinc to condone hit unprepossessing appearance. 'He was cold, dry, s'lallow ;' he was deficient in ' burning z'-alj' he had not ' a forcy style;' 'he wa* nut lively,' he 'did not finish his sermons properly' o>e argumentative witness, when expatiating on the ' cold, dry, shallow ' teaching of the culprit, nuked triumphantly, 'yov know what a sleepy pieicher does fr>» sleepy eonpr'irat ion ?' to which oneof the judges replied, 1D 1 Kidd threw a book at f'em ;' ami certnmlv if Mr MncI kersey had ever lighted up into ' burning zeal ' that it the wuy we thould have expected him to ithow it j and serve them ri_'ht. Meantime, a minister under criticism in a Scottish pulpit, oi l octopus inn tnnk — vrhit«h it most to be pitied ? — ' Home Go*sip,' in Otago Guardian A short time ago a boy nt one of oifl- greut public schools wa* j»iren it |!«t of fhe^ master* and tutort of the institution, and requited to furnis'i the best infoVrWaf ion he could give a* to their respective qualifieat on-«. T e following is nn exact copy of the remarks made b^tho youthful critic, which have a peculiar interest nt the present time. It is unnecessary, and of course. Would be inviJiou«. to mention names : — <k A, ruther good, 6ut old, snappy. B, a very good miut-sr, rather ea*y tutor. C, very good, a jolly old fellow. D, mad at » hatter. E, a^fu'ly strict, rery good teacher. F. rather hiird to bo' up to/ su.«pioious. G-, takes unaccountable dihliket, vpitpt those that he doe» not hk^. H iliithtly f«ror» thow whom he does like. I, ttrtct, doet not favour* at all, very hf»rd to get on with, teaches well. J, does not tench well fnroura rnfher. K. easy and 1» y. L, not vetj hard. M rather ttnet, very punct Hal, does not give lnuny pce-ms. N, very strict, tremendous for pcensn O, very hard to get on with, givet peenit on ctcry possible occasion < P, terv quiet and nice, tenches well, punctual. Q, very nice, but awfully ttrict. R, rather strict, teaches pretty well. S, very nice, teaches very well. T, t>>ncha<i builly, too old, ought to be inwde a fellow. If, strict. V, tenohe* well, bus too monr to tench. W, teachps well, very strict indeed. X, knows a lot, but onnnnf keep his division in oider, nnd does not understand it. Y< no good at all, can't t£bch. £, uh^urd, cXn't tfacii or do' Knyf hing else. An, tenches well, but very unpleasant- Bb, not bad, awfully lazy. Oc, easy and useless, fery good natured. Dd, not. mijph use, c;irmot keep hit* division in order. Ec, not much itee, ktric t, cannot teach. Ff, perfectly titeles*. Gg, not \ery much better." Assuming this orilicisin t rt be jmt. >t is not perhaps, satisfactory as a whole ; but it must be riMnembered that no one semis hit son to a Public school for purely educational advantages, and it is. moreover, evident thnt t>>e young gen: ltinian who thus defined the merits and *r»km>Mi>s i>f hi!) teaohers h * >it least acquired no 11ns 1 po <e,is of observation.—- fall Mall Gazette. The Win.Jtor convspondmit of t'w Sydney Morning Herald write*: — ''On Friday la*f, November 14, a man nn.md llenrr Gunn, at liiohmond, had Ins 'eg fractured in three places below the kne>, the thigh severely brmodd, and other parts of the body contused, by the bui'sfirnj of a rum et»«k Gunn i< a butcher, in the tevvice of Mr Joseph Gnu*, and went to bore a hold in the <*a^k. Th< a auurr geuerallv used for siicli purpose not being at hand, Gunn unsuspectingly made pieces of iron wire red hot» nnd proceeded to make the iper ore. When the Moutcd ifott Wils about penetrating to the inner wood\ the cask — whic'i mutt have b*'rti full of gtntrated |ai — tuddxiil/ exploded, farUr«tin« Into ffigments, and Milting ihe injurie* above •umnertifed. The report #ns henrd fuNv half a mile off" The Mount Ida Chroni'le suys that Mr D. Mtitlnnd, of Ewcbnrn strihdn, tWed aft exueriment to fifuduce fine evirly limbs by croi»«ih^ 400 hulf-bred Cltovoit e\*e» with Leicester rams. 1110 increase was this season 110 iee cent, , nnil the hmbi ha\« provexl heavy weight* «ad of rwy lupenor quklitj- j

We'liuwe heard of the ideaof layingoxygen in pipei through' dWtl^rt^^f^urposoj of ventilation and puri lotion of the aW; of dl^njh'WnFfbr' similarly supply ing.c«rb>nicanid forth© rfrtiri^ftjfonVftHf of five; and of the ingenious projKml to 6mrffMt*t#&CLY diMlin^'thron^i oomlufti leading from UtomwitiW WiVit. Further still, wt> have permed Iha glowto^)k¥b»jp>tfuVdf the electric piano inventor, who proposal (fo'^'ti.WtShte metm of turning off or on 1 a flbw of muiic as eW«V te-r stream from a water faucet, nnd 1 we remember htfvln*f r>ad' of the telephone 1 bv which the ohoice»t vocal e»>Vts of celebrated singer* might be brought jnto our parlimrlrayeJuilyas th« voice of the Bridget' filing ut from flve fyriiheV world 1 throwjh the speaking trumpet. Bat now we" h£»e- found .an idea Which surpasses all. Aocording to the- Tfrffbn* CiUf Territorial tnt^riat,% Professor Maul*, •si ir gtrtnfc to erect en entire woi k* similar *o those of a gas comply. Tn> these the.-V will be large retorts in which tobacco will Be oufhed, and the smoke thu§ produced will paw through' plpei« pipe* to a large bell-thaped receptacle, similar to & gasometer, where it will b cooled and purified and to scented *s to have the flavour of the finest Havana cigar. From thesmokometera main pipe will lead up into tne city, arid from Chi« will be small' branch pipes lending to all ihe principal houses and saloon* in the town. In every house whore the smoke is taken, there will be placed a meter, similar to a m* meter, but u uoh more delicately constructed.Running from these meter* wilt be pipes leading to all the rooms in the house, and connected with these pipes, »t convenient points, will be long flexible tubes, each tipped with a handiome amber mouth-piece for the comfort and convenience of smokers. When a wan desires to have a smoke, he has not to go to the trouble of hunting, up tobacco and filling his pipe, then of finding and lighting a match, and- , perhaps burning hit fingers, and afterward getting fire «n 1 ashes upott his clothe* half a doren times before his smok* is ended There is none of this trouble anrl texut'on. He has only to place ths amber mouth -piece between his Hp»,turn n small silver tli umb-scrrw, and the cool, delicious, perfumed »mo«e glides into bis mouth. By tins ingenious and delightful arrangement, aH dangers of fires from pipes nnd cigars will be obviate.!, and millions in valuable property annually saved. An India-rubber- reeepticle filled with smoke is arranged in the breast, in-ide the shirt bosom, for smokers to draw from while walking- in (he street; and Indies, with whom it is conjectured" trhf delicately flavoured fumes will become very popular, are to have for their use • elegantly carved amber mouth-pieces,, hooped about with gold and set with diamonds nnd other gems. When out walking their re«ervoirof smoke will- be contained in the pannier, to which it will impart a much more symmetrical si i ape than can be attained by. the use of newspapers; beside*, by giving the rubber of the smoke tank a suitable thickness and strength, it will be found t be vrry con venient when the weare» desires to sit, as it will serve as a cus'nion, ft something which i» often a- great-convenience and comfort. Maulesel is a name yet unknown to tame ; and it may be noticed, as a ■coincidence quite remarkable, that the tieneric name- of the ingenious idea is contained in its last syllable. The professor,, we presume, is somewise connected with Professor Cnt^ll A. Bighe. who recently aroused popuUf curiositjt in Jfrw York by announcing, in widely distributed handbills, *n nUnA flight from t.ie steeple of Trinity Church. — Scientific American. Some uselul advice on the subject of mushrooms was given by Mr Justice Denmsn in the Central Criminal Court on Wednesday, on the ocoasion of the Grand Jury throwing out a bill of indictment against a gardener who was charged with murdering a fpllow-senant by givin her poisonous mushrooms to e»t. Although there was no reason to suppose that the prisoner had any felonious intention in giving the deceased the mushrooms, yet three persons were dangerously poisoned by them, ami one of thenvactttally »lied ; the fungi being so much like mushrooms tha*. even a skilled witnesssaw nothing in them to distinguish Eheitr from tho-e articles of food. Mr Justice Denman thought that these factsshould be thoroughly well pobtmned and 'known. It appeared that mushrooms growing under trees were dangerous, because, as he (Mr Justice Denman) supposed, they were fed on de« cayed roots which weie, perhaps, taint. d with poison. That being so, added the Judge, " let everybody beware of eating mushrooms winch grow under trees." So many persons have from (finfe to-time come to an untintilv end through eating poisonous fungi bearing u close resemblance to mushrooms that perhaps tne n.o^ prtidml course would be for those who are unwilling to risk their lives to abstain from eating mushrooms altogether. In the meantime, however, as there fcrt itfany people Who infintfdy prefer-the chance of a painful death to the certain anguw,h of denying-them-selves nny lirxury on which they sts t their hearts, it &i«y, perhaps, be as well to call attention to thr following tabulation by Proflnsor Bentley of the genera! chaiaeters by which the edible und poisonous species of fungi may, a.* aI rule (but not an uncrr.ng one), be distinguished. Edible mushrooms.— i; Grow solitary in dry airy p!acei>; 2, aie generally white or bYownish ; 3. hnve a contact brittle flesh ; 4f4 f do not change colour when cut, by the actionof the air ; 5, juice watery ; 6. odourogrerable ; T, taste not bitter, acrif 1 , suit, or stringent. Pois-onous mushrooms.— 1, Grow in* clusters, in woods. n»id dm k dump place? ;2, Usually » ith bright colours • 3, flesh tr>Ut>h soft and watery ; 4, acquire a brown, <jreen. or blue tint when cut and exposed to I li£ air; 5, jtnrr often milky; 6, commonly poweiful and disagveeable ; 7, having an acrid, ftstringent, acid, saiJt, orbitter ta^te. It is best to avoid all fungi winch have arrived at their full development or Blmw>!*n # \ sign of change ; and by snaking any doubtful fungi rut in slices fat abouV*n hour in v.negar and afterwards washing, tbem-in hoilm.- water, they niHV, it is stated, be rendered harmless. — Pall Mall Gazette. In my idea home rWs to the dignity of an inditution of' life, and, like everything legit inMriv to be called an institution of l.fe, is both en outgrowth of life and a -contributor to its development. Lile all institutions it has its external form and internal power and significance. Li«e the chuich, it has its edifice and appoint ments not only but its membership, its bonds of spiritual fellowship, and its germinal ideas,, developing themselves into influences that bear flowers and fraits to charm and feed the soul. It is into the tneiin.pg of the word home that I would introduce you first, my friends, and then into the honre itself. Marriage is the legitimate bnsisofa genuine home. A husband is the priest, and a wife the priestess; and it is for joti, joung I ut>band and ynttng wife, to establish this inMitntion,maintHin it, beautify it in its outward form, fill it with all good influences, develop its capacities, make it the expression of _\ our bed ides* of in'imate social life, and to use it as an instrument of peni'-I power in moulding such outside lite as may con>e into contact with it. Its outward form and its internal arrangements ihou'd, to far as your means will permit, be the outgrowth of your finest ideas and the ex rt-ssion of your tastes, combined with the practical ingenuities wlwh'may be rendered necessary by a wholesome economy. It is not the elm before the door of his home that the sailor pines for when tossing on the distant sen. Ir is not the house that sheltMpd his childhood, the well that gave, him drink, nor the humble hert where he used to lie and dream- These may be the objects thtft ex> c to his vision as he paces the lonely deck, but the heart within him longs for the tweet influence that crtnie through all these things, or were associated with them; for the heart clings to the* i institution which developed it — to that beautiful tree of which" it is the frmfe. Wherever, therefore, the heart wanders, it carries the thought of ho>ne with it. Wherever, by the rivers of Babylon, the heart feels its lost and loneliness, it hangs its harp Upon the Willows and weeps. It prefer* home to' its chief joy. It will never forget it. For there swelled its first throb. There were developed it* first affections. There a mother's eyes looked into it ; there » mother's voi«e s|>oketo it ; there a mother's prayers b.ested it. There the love of parent* and brothers and sisters gave it precious entertainment. There bubMed up from unseen fountains life's first effervescing hopes. There life took form, and colour, and conscience. From that centre went out all it* young ambitions. Towards that focus return its concen* trating memories There it took form, and fitted itself to loving natures and pleasnnt naturart scenes; and it will carry that impress wherever it may go. unless it become perI verted by sin or make to itself another home, sanctified by anew ami more precious affection. — Titcomb's Letter* i The Key J. O'Malley, duping a sermon at the opening of | anorgnn in St Francis's Chbrch, Melbourne, made the following remarks on chuch music :—": — " How con he who hasnever heard, conceive the beauties of music ; those gentle melodies that have floated this very dny about your ears; these wild dissonances that at first crash out with a sensation of ptiin, but which in their resolution more than atone for it ; these noble pyramids of harmony, rising from the full tones of the? buss to the utmost limit of the sophrano voice, and which drive* the blood with a rush ot pleasure through the veins? Do you now understand the influence of music* on the soul f" The soul it made for the beautiful, and music cmveys to it one form of beauty. Do you understand why the B|)len<lour of mir ceremonial and the splen.lour of our music stand or fall together? Do you understand the action of the Catholic Church in conveying the beautiful through these two channels to the" soul ? Do you understand her thorough appreciation of tne r.aturfe of man ? Do you understand how unnatural and unrras mable it would be to neglect these two wads of easy aeon to the soul, and endeavour to reach it by some other which bos no existence ? Do you now see to what paltry insignificance shrivels up, in* the presence of the profound wisdom and noble motives of the Cntholic Church, the assertion — utterly unsupported by p o if. or oven a\.u nent — of the ' meretricious gorgeousnei*' f he Catholic worship 9 ' Dr Willet, lecturing in Boston recently, told a droll story of himself. He «<ud that at one time, when he w at a con* nuisseiir in bird atuffin^. bt used to cii icise other people's bir I stuffing aeveiely . Walking with a gentleman one day he stoppe 1 at a win low wheie agamic owl hm exhibited. * You a«e," said the doctor to his fried, "that th«re is a mil niHoent bird utterly mined Wy unskilful etuffin , Notice the mounting Execrable is it not? No living owl ever moated in that ]o&nion And the eye* ate a t hird larger than any owl uver poHaeaaed. " A t this moment the stuffed bird raised one foot »n<< solemnly blinked at bis critic who sud very Utlf* mow «bout fttutiod birds ihifc ! afternoon. »w^-w

The following wiw wordi are taken from Lewi*'* " New ftymnailic*." Let ererr mother read the truth, and tben af whether th*> dreue* of hrr little onea oorretpond. A distinguished phTtrio an, who died some jmw ago in Pari\ declimd: — "1 brlieTf thnt during the twentj.^ix jears I ha»e practiced mj- pr.i)eti»on m tins city, 20,000 children liare befit < arned to the crtneternt, a •»crilicc to the usual ruttutn of eipo»ing their n«k«d artny. I hare ofl^B thought if n mother whs nnnoiu to alto* the toft white ski < of her bnbj, and *ot*td cut out a hole in tho little thing 'a drew, iust orer the heart, a*id then oarrj it about for observation by the com pun/, it would do T«r/ lit We barm. But to expose the b&tty't arm*, number* to Air remored from the heart, and with such feeble circulation at beit, i» a mother* pernicioui practica. Put the bulb of a thermometer into » biby'c inoutli : tli« mercury rin>t to 99 df greet. Of cour«e, all the blood which flow through fchoie hand* «mJ arm* must fall from 10 to 40 degree* below the temper* *re of the henrt. Need I an? that when th'e»e* c«W ettrfent* of Mood flow back into the cheat, the child's- genrrtA titalitj mutt be more or le*a ootnpromiied ? Awl need I add that we ought not to be »urpri»il at the Ireguentlj recurring affection of the lungs, throat, and ttownah V