DECAYING FRIENDSHIPS. (Liberal Review.)

Waikato Times, Volume III, Issue 169, 7 June 1873, Page 2

DECAYING FRIENDSHIPS. (Liberal Review.)

Attempts aro frequently made on the part of people to con- j) stitute everlasting friendships whicli shall be signalized by complete confidence upon both sides. Young ladies, on the point of leaving school, are peculiarly subject to this sort of thing, and many are the rows they exchange of undying affection for each other. When separated they maintain their friendship through the medium of the penny po»t» and great is the expenditure o r ink and paper. Their letters, which are generally crossed upon three or four pages, and arc thereby rendered almost undecipherable, are full of italicized words and exprewive adjectives. Anything that has happened to a correspondent is straightway committed to paper, as is also something that may have occurred to any oue with whom the correspondent is acquainted. Bonnets, young men, and novels, are criticised in an equally impartial and incisive manner, and a good deal of space is devoted to those who are married, thoie who are going to bo married, and those who, li they are not about to do any such thing, ought to be. Full confesiiun id made of the sentiments with which the correspondent regards her acquaintances, male and fornalc, and matrimony is frequently discussed in a most original fashion. It is LaLcn ior granted that the matter contained in these epistles, is what has been confided to no other living soul, and that, therefore, it is only intended, to meet the eyo of one person. Indeed, the notes aro presu-ned to be the outward expression of the wricer's inner nosu thoirjiu 1 ?, and are to be valued accordingly. The letters are f i equent'y written at intervals which, consider ng their length, speaks ve.y wcU for tne industry of the writers When not forced to resort to letter- writing as a means of sustaining their friendship, the young ladies osteuUtumsly seek each other's society, which, they show by unmistakable signs, they value more thaa the company of any one else. They like to hold themselves aloof ffom thei-- feUows, to taLe so l -ary wr,lks together, ana to make each other innmnerj'^e presents. But as might be anticipated, tbe th'ag does not JfJJt, and theie are very few such f -leudsh'ps among women who have passed their « twenty-frith year. Manage n tbe firsc b/eak, and an l' 1 eparable one it is. The .uterapt may be made to keep up the sentimental friendship, aad fc a t'me it may succeed, but the appearance is decepLive, and ultimately the attempt breaks down ; gradually vbe intimacy grows less, inornate, the confidences fewer, and of comparatively ir"io»- importance This, perhaps, may be owing to the fact that the w e maXes a coiih'da'it of bcr husband, in which case she, of course, does not require to make one of a "riend, Tor though it is a'niost a necessity for some peop'e to find a rea ly ear into which to pour the sLo - y of their hopes, tbe'-r tears, bheu- d>sappoiai.menls, tbV'r plans, ard thcr proceedings, tbey do not fee^ the want ol more tbcu one such receptacle. In plam terms, every ordinary induidual must have a confidant, bu« very few, indeed, require to have two. So, with ma- Jage comes the first break in a f endsh'p such as ihac which we have described. By-and-by, the separation between tbe quondam n-lenda becomes more inarl.ed. and it is by no means a rare case for them in t'me to a'most forget each Other. Lcoking back upon their lives, most women must vemember louie bofaom friend whom they now know now »t a-, or knowing them, a r e merely ujjou bowing te tob. Young mcv, never, so earnest in their tiiendahtps, aye almost as-hcUe. Drawn together, in the iiist instance, probably by a fondness for the same sports, the same Studies, and tbe same modes of life geneiai'y, ihey quieUy drop asunder as the'"* tastes and ways of existiug cLvnge. - Sometime* they qua «c ! . But, wh.-uerer may be the cause or causes of their separation, it, is a fact that ci mpa a^ively few friendships contracted in. early hfe coin nue t-ue to the last. It n?ay be said, indeed, that it is the exception rather than the rale for ibem to do so. And yet, i' a man does not make friends, when he is young, ibe probabi'ity is that he wil' never do. so, fo r , after he w«jU up m y,e.iis, circumstances arise which render the task uioie difficult. The friendships formed by people after they bare passed their thirtieth year are by no means so sentimental, so ostentatiously thorough, as those contracted when, people are younger. Middle-aged men make little, it any attempt, at being confidential towards each other. Their converse instead of being of a personal character is principally upon politics,, theology, and business, seasoned by a certain amount of gossip> Matured women, on the other hand, are more confidential, but they are not so demonstrative and gushing as, girls just out of their teens. They do not make protestations, of eternal afleotion. Still, tbey tell as much as thej know and learn as much as they can about their neighbours and their affairs, and discuss matrimony and dress in a manner which shows liqw much they relish doing so. Properly prompted, they will, too, enlarge upon their own affairs. Into sympathetic ears they will pour the story of hoir tbexr first-born, as fine ft youth as ever lived, is developing certain, characteristics calculated to cause his guardians serious inconvenience ; how their husband is one of the most extraordinary men in existence and possesses the rare virtue of entertaining due affection und respect for his wife ; and other similar matters ot an equally important and interesting character. But these elderly frierds make no pretenc* of being bound up in one another ; they steer clear of lengthy correspondence j and tbey do not mourn — that is to say % beyond indulging in a few hackneyed conventionalities — when they fail to see each other except at rare intervals. Having their own families and interests to look after, they virtually concede that they have no time for elaboratefriendships. This is> of course, when they are married. When they aro single, the case is slightly different, and it not unfrequently happens that spinsters knock-up a species, of lasting friendship. They go nowhere except m each other's company, and tbey co-operate in each other's schemes,, whether it be one for the founding of a blanket club or one for the advancement ot tbe principles of the Women's Bights Association. They, perhaps, say liard things of each othf r % they, probably, repeat these matters, with sundry elaborations, behind each other* backs, but they never regularly quarrel. If Miss A is maligned, Miss B is quick to resent (lie affront, and let Miss A. know what h«s been said of her,, which last act is, however, a somewhat questionable kindness. The two keep together, and that is the main thing. It is a small matter that their motives for so doing are found, when fairly anal) zed, not to be purely disinterested, but that : they cultivate each other's society ior the want of better, ' and because it is among the necessities of their nature that they should ha\e some willing ear to pour scandal into, and some ready tongue to amuse them w like manner. There v, then, very little really genuine friendship. The present constitution or society is unfavorable to it» growth. When everything is artificial, and everything is conducted upon the high pleasure principle, it is impossible for it to flourish. We may regret this> but the best thing it at one& bo admit the truth.

A Valuable Eelic. — Not long since a relic-hunter among the rums of Pompeii fouud a imidl piece- of papyrus, on. which could be traced the faint outline! of a young man. of noble appearance. Great excitement ensued among the Tirtuosi. A committee of 100 larants sat upon it for three weeks, and at length pronounced it a portrait of one of the Eurly Fathers, by no leu a haud than Scnblerius Daubius, temp. 90 ad. During the furore, a Califoruian tourut, examining the back of the picture, found this inscription : — " Messra B. and Co, photographers." He looked at tho 1 mcc ugam. "Ah ! " said he, " can it bbyee — ye§ — no — why, blees my soul, it's Smith, the hatter, of our town ! He was married at 17, a father before ho was 18 ) and in that sense Smith wai an Enrly Father."

Thackee^t's Woeks. — To assign Tbakeray's ultimate : posit >on in literature is a difficult task, for nothing is less certain than the permanence of literary attractireoro «ndj iame ; but we think that his worki will be read and as ' keenly enjojed alter the lapse of a century as they are now. fielding has surTived longer than that period, and weightier reasons for mi mortality could be advanced in favour of Thackeray. If hi* works ceased to be read ai pictures of society and delineations of character, they would still retain no unglonou? place in English literature, from the singular purity and beauty of their style. It is style even more than matter which embalms a literary reputation. To the Faithfulness with which he spoke the English tongue we behero future generations will testify. Whatsoever was good, honest, and true found in linn a defender ; whatsoever was base, minianlj , and ialse shrank abashed in hia presence. A man with less pretence, less assumption, less sham, never existed ; he revolted iron) appearing what he was not. Hi& works were the rcilex ot the man, and like a shaft of light whioh, while it pierces into the doopebt recesses of dissimulation and vice, imnles beinguautly upon those aspirations and ieehngs winch are the. noblest glory of humanity. — Edinburgh Meview,

THK (JOrtSiCAN BROTHEHB. — Mr Clwke, of Clasetown, Wa's.'ll publishes the tallowing letter in the Lancet : — Sir, — A curious instance Oi similarity between twins occurred 111 my cipeiicnuj some ycaro r»gt>, which exemplifies, the difficulty described by i)r Lee iv your impression of last week, that sometimes f;:ists of distinguishing the point* ot difference between individual*, lliey weie tall muscular men, apparently of the aatne height »ud hguie, about fnrty yeaisof age, and managers ot coal mines. ISo close was the resemblance betweeu them, that i was told when they hvod in the same locality they had often changed places with each other, or the one had acted for the Obhei in his abaeuce, without vhe change ot musters ever having been discerned by the men employed under |M them Wnen »hown their poiLraikS, I uuhe«ii.atingly " pionounced them to be phocogiaphs of the same lhuividuui, aud when told they w«itj iiuu, 1 was uuabJe lo ludicato which repieseiibed the one I had olten auvenued in illness, and whose Wife had given birth to twiun twice withm twelve months. 1 saw i,he Oi,her brother but once, on wbich occasion 1 couveised with him ioi seveial minutes, bu v only became awaie that i had done so when luiurmed of it. weeks after. The wife of the one 1 knew could nou tell nic how uhe distinguibhed her husband tiom her brother-in-law , but Ba id sue liau nu diitiuilty iv uwiiy so.