A THANKSGIVING SERMON.

Waikato Times, Volume III, Issue 162, 22 May 1873, Page 2

A THANKSGIVING SERMON.

YESTERnAY we sent out our news reporter to get a report of a thanksgiving sermon. Now this reporter has been bragging of his ability to make excellent reports, and we engaged him for this especial occasion, expecting something better than usual, because the fellow really appeared to have an idea of the eternal fitness of things We to^t' him to attend the services at Chinch, where the ltev. Dr was to preach. The doctor is one of our sensation preachers, always draws full congiegations, and is regarded as a model man. Towards midnight our envoy extraordinary returned with a dull heavy step, his eyes fairly swimming in liquid eloquence— or something else— his voice thick, and beery, while half a smoked cigar hun o ' over the larboard side of his jaw. Straightening himself up, he gave us a comical look of importance, and said, as he threw a roll of manuscript on our desk," there's a bully ' report— betcher lifeont " We took up the M.S S , and read as follows :— "The performance at was well attended, the ladies were dressed in elegant toilette, in fact one and alt appeared to vie with each ether in getting themselves up in the most stunning style. Miss wore an eh'ganfgreen silk dress, cut in modern style, flounced with sixteen rows of trilled gussets An elegant »ilk velvet cloak encircled her voluptuous bust, whilst a jaunty hat of penooc'^s feathers rested upon her noble forehead- She had pondered her forehead a little too carelessly, and its effects were plainly discernible ; her lips had been slightly rouged, and pouting like tho ripe poach, caused many a one to sigh ior tho privilege of proving them. Mrs D*sh (tho bride of Colonel Dash) was the observed of all observers as she sat in her elegant pew and looked queenly at those who occupied less elegant state. She has been a lucky girl, and one old ludv declared she was considerably stuck up since her father made a fortune in diamond stock, and she married old Coloi.el Dash who was old enough to be her father. But we cannot continue; where all the ladies were dressed so elegantly nnd becomingly it would be worse than folly to particularise, Hectuu* it will be seem to nrouFe jealousy in the hearts of those who are not mentioned. The "Rev Dr has been engaged for the season by the management of this establishment at the rato of 240 dollars per season, and a first-rate stnr lie is, but hi« nudience were dull, cold, and unsympathetic, nnd he was unable to put himself en rapport with nY In fact it would not 'enthuse' *\orth a oenb, und-'notflMfcstanding he made a number of telling hits, ho failed to bring down the house. Your reporter did applaud most vociferously, but, being regarded as a dciidliead, was looked upon with burpriso- and indignation, nnd was finally told by one of tho libbers to desist. The, ovciiobter wai slightly out of tuue, and the organ sounded wheezy, evidently suffering from &< recent attack of epizootic from winch it had not thoroughly revered ; but take it for all in all, the perform anc.es of the pieces were quite satisfactory. At the close of the entertainment the ticket-taker name round and oollocted the admission from those who had dipped in without paying. I told him that I belonged to the press, and he passed inc. It was eMdent thoy pass the press there." Now what ought we do with «>ui.h a icporler as thib? — Alia, California.