CONFESSIONS OF A MUNICIPAL COUNCILLOR

Waikato Times, Volume III, Issue 147, 17 April 1873, Page 3

CONFESSIONS OF A MUNICIPAL COUNCILLOR

" Some years &gr> I was a happy man, I kept a general shop and the general shop very comfortably kept me. When I had put up my shutters for the night I revelled m domestic happiness of ' home, sweet home.' My wife was happy and content, and no ambitious dreams of greatness disturbed my serenity. I sold my pots and pans in peace and profit, was Imppy m my little way, and found existence sweet, until one fatal clay a requisition was sent to me to become a candidate for the Council. I felt flattered. I consulted my wife. She urged me to stand, it was all I wanted to give me a status. The title of Mr Councillor was an introduction to any society, and who knew but what I might become a mayor and herself a mayoress, I was to think of that. Besides I had talents. Look how I had spoken at tea-fight and temperance entertainments — almost as good as a minister. I consented, and was returned. From' that moment my history commenced. One clique of councillors made a tool of me, another a butt of me. The town clerk pulled me like a puppet, and the press made public my ignorance, which I might have kept concealed had I not by blind infatuation emerged from that obscurity which so well became me Tlio Municipal Act to me nasitn ilderness of words in which I became bewildered and lost, and the way I construed its clauses provoked the jeers and jibes of ray opponents. I was not slow in resenting. I would hare been sarcastic had I had the wit : having it not, I showed my temper, and any man possessing one of an ordinary xind won't be long in a municipal council without his little points cropping out. I got personal mmy remarks. The retorts I evoked generally soothed me, and in place of getting the honor and respect I anticipated, I got nothing but contumely and derision. My wife was harder on me than my opponents. What was I thinking about to let men like those ridicule me ? I had even grown smaller in her eyes. I must redeem rav self at any cost. Determined thus, next night I went to the council. There was a debate about cutting a gutter. Alderman Jones said I wanted to improve my property at the expense of the corporation. I replied Jones's great grandmother was not lawfully married. He retorted that he never was a siopboy and robbed his employer's till of half a-crown. He moved that the words of the mendacious miscreant be taken dow n. I shook my fist in his face. The Council broke up. I was stuck for damages in both actions,— for slander and assault. My customers deserted me. My wife upbraided. The public derided me, and the bank squashed me. My unchristian resignation followed, and the sands of my "(public) h'fe aro mu out."— Mount Ida Citron id r

Strange Stohy of a M\g\i.tic Mocxiaiv — The Jinmor Ai/rer Standard, m an article relating to the wreck of the Royal Mail steamer Tacorn sa\s ; — It his been a subject of much surprise to many that Captain Stewart, one of the moet experienced and careful sailors in tin- Pacfic Company's service, should have been so convinced that lie whs ■e^eral miles from land just before the Tacora ran on Cape St Mary. There is, howe\er, an extarordinan revelation by Mr James Oliver, of Fray IScntos, vrhu h goes far tow ards explaining the causes of the wreck of the steamer m question. Mr Oliver states that in the \ear 18 18 the schooner Mihtiades, of Monte Video, was fishing for seals between Lonoq Island and Castillos. On the evening in question, about four o'clock, it fell quite calm, with no current either up or down, tbe vessel lying m 1.9 fathoms 'of water, and about five miles from the shore. "At eight p.m.," says Mr Oliver, "on going on deck, the moon being nearly full, and n bright moonlight night, I thought we were much nearer the shore, and on heaving the lead I found the samo depth of water, I boon, howc\er, porccmd that, although thero was no current, the -vessel was drifting towards the shore about a mile an hour. Calling my comrades, I succeeded, by means of oars in turning the bow of my vessel again seauarrio, but se\ei\il times it swerved again round towards land. I was unwilling to cast anchor in such deep water, and kept the lead going while tiic vessel drifted towards the shore ; till, lucki'y, a light breeze sprang from the land, and tarried us out to sea. If it hud been a dark night, we should probably have been driven ashore in another hour, perfectly ignorant of our danger of the mysterious power tliat wafted us without any curient landwards. The occurrence impressed me so much that, on my return to Mont« Video, I reported it to the Topographic Board, but no notice was pind to it. Subsequently, in 1857, Mr W. Hamiucth.who had been on the topographic committee, informed me that magnetic stones were found m the Sierra dc Annnas, running northward fiom Monte Video; and this at once appeared to me an explanation of the mystery. Tn 186(5 1 wrote to the British udinual on the station on thu subject, but perhaps my loiter did not rench him. Tn later tunes I wrote to Professor Ag/i*«rz, but with no better success. Now that the Tauoru wicck revnes interest in this question, I think it right to guc the aboxe statement of iiwts; that Heave scientific men to decide upon " A cemetery sculptor lately published this c.ird :---" As the holidays arc now approaching, ,md the tune fur presents ih nen ring, .1 bug to call attention to my stytklof tumbaloucs. "

Smok! L*Sf* EvL-ro^n I's yon Si'oimjir. Ui v-< — To invent a spoiling explosive which should be " smokeless," and at j I he banie time shoot with tlie regularity of gunpow dor, lias been the object of nuineious pradua'l '-port-men and of chemists for the last iiitv \eii- Unlil howe\ei, withm the lnst four or five years no " pi ad iialh " site and elleetnc sporting explosive resulted Irom the jnnuint ol attention bestowed on the subject. Vmongst IV->e liMontmns, Hi.it of gun cotton is first woitli\ oi note, uhmiuh-U a- it approaihcd nearer to the required desiderata lor a -polling ixplosive— i f., sinoLelesoness— tlun am ollitr nnentii/ii Inning eelliliwe tissue as a basis. In 1M32 AE limconnot, :i ehemi-l oi ~Sanc\, m Fiance, in treating starch with coiiemti.ile I azotic ai'id w.i- led to the Jiscovei v of .1 pulverulent and loinbustible pioduct, lo which he gave the name of icvloidme. Tli s discovery was passed over, nevertheless, but with little notice, till 111 1838 M. Peloii7e, a chemist of some cclebrilv, resuming the labours of M Braeonnol, discovered that the very simple matters, paper, cotton, linen, and a vnrielj of tii-tie*, as well as other substance-, possess the fulminating property attributed to "larch. It remained, lion ever, for Professor Schonbein, of Basle, to adapt this discovery to firearms in (ho form of a Mib-tanee Known as gun-cotton. This exjilosivc is prepared by sleeping cotton-wool for a longer or shorter period in a mixture of nitric and sulphuric acids, thoroughly washing and then drying at a gentle heat. It consist-, chemically, of tho essential elements of gunpjwder—/ c , carbon, nitrogen, and ovjgeu ; but, in addition, it contains another highly clastic gas — hydrogen. The cirbon in the fibres of the wool presents to the action of flame a most extended surface in a small space, and the re-ult is an explosion approaching as near as possible to the instantaneous ; in consequence of its rapid ignition, the recoil of the gun 13 most violent. Siifliviunt time is not given to put the charge in motion, hence it is not looked upon w ith f.n our as a projectile ajjent amongst sportsmen. In addition to such a serious defect as the foregoing, gun-cotton possesses an unhappy knack of spontaneous combustion when in the act of drying after being damped, either purposely to keep it safe in store or from the result of exposure to the atmosphere. One would imagine that the recent awful explosion at Stowmarkct and dreadful loss of life was sufficient warning to our Government to dt-si-t from attempting to thrust it into the hands of the army and navy for engineering pur- | poses. We are informed, however, that, much against the wish and expressed opinion of the most eminent engineer-* of Hie d.iv , -ucli is their intention. The Prussian Government, after many trials, rejected gun cotton from their arsenals, adopting, instead, the new explosive called " Lithofiuclcur," | manufactured by Messrs Krebs & Co., of Cologne. As Lithofracteur cannot explode unless ignited by a detonating fuze, one would imagine that our .Government would follow the example of the Prussians and adopt it for mining and engineering purposes We are given to understand, however, that a " special Act" was hurried through the Legislature to prohibit the use of nitro-glycerine in this country ; and, as it happens, in a small measure to be one of the component parts of Lithofraeteur, the country at larjrc is prohibited from traffic in the article. — Gentleman's Jlui/eume. AVhat an emu can do with a chignon. The Qeclong Advertiser says that " while the band was playing w ithin the enclosure of Jolmstonc Park on a recent afternoon, the emu stalked up to a group of children, and made a snv.igc attack on two ol them, endeavouring to pick their eyes and no-.es. A lady ventured to the re-^uo of the innocents, but her interference so much annoyed their feathered assailant that he abandoned the ohildrcn to attack their deliverer. This he did in a very savage manner, for he performed a sort of preliminary war dance round the female skirts, and then wound up by leaping about five feet from the ground, and administered a violent and ill-natured kick to the lady's chignon. The result was a lively display of horsehair, and the lady, who narrowly escaped being scalped, j fell fainting from confusion into the arms of an exquisite. The latter summoned sufficient courage to grasp the jotmg lady's parasol, and with this fragile weapon attacked the I ungallant emu so vigorously m to break the parasol with the first blow. Fortunately by this tune a crowd had gathered, and the emu, none the worse of the encounter, overwhelmed by superior numbers, was driven off. It was understood that the parasol would be re-placed, but the damage done to the chignon is said to be irreparable, and the lii'h is inconsolable " "I Woman's devotion (says the writer of" Under the Verandah," 111 the Melbourne Leader) 13 not confined to civilised lands, of which the secret official records of the Fijian king- I dom would afford a proof. The man Clancy, lately sentenced to death at Sidney for the mrt he took in the Carl massacre, had, before he was captured b} the Cossack, been united in the bonds of nintrimoin with a dusky subject of King Cakombau. On Clancy being arrested, his bride determined to save the man of her choice, and reaching the Cossack in the middle of the night, got stealthily on board, and managed ' to release her husband from the custody of Ins guards. Gently he was let into the water, and the woman following, the pair gvined the canoe, and Clancy was rowed totlie shore, and concealed in the bush with such success as to defy all the elforts of the crew of the Cossack to find him. Application was at last made to the Fijian Government for the aid of native trackers, and the request being complied w ith Clancy was again discovered, and agnm made a prisoner Civilisation, by the aid of savage skill, triumphed, and ren dered the heroic elforts of a devoted woman futile." j The following advertisement appeared in the Times : — ! " Just published .... a neat memorial card of the late Emperor Uso a most elaborate design of the above, with Maltese cross on flock ground, printed 111 silver, thus securing a tatting memento of one of earth's mightiest potentates." Tins is very charming, as is the card exhibited in many shop windows with the heading "In Mcmonam." -By way of comment on the lying-m-state at Chiselhurst, an exhibition very repugnant to our insular ideas, Madame Tussaud has reproduced the scene in waxwork, so that the sight-loving crowd may satisfy their curiosity by deputj. I In the year IW3 the body of Edward IV. was exposed, bare from the waist up, to show that he lrid not died by foul means, m the Palace at Westminster, and was visited by the Mayor of London and many other persons. 1b.3 body of Henry VII. lay in state at Richmond, as did that of Queen Elizabeth ; but wax effigies in armour representing James I and Olner Cromwell, nnJ wo doubt whether the body of any English Sovereign has been exjwsed since the death of Charles 11. Some years ago an eminent publisher gnve Lord Lytton £30,000 for the use of twenty of his novels for a railway library. It is said that this is the largest sum ever paid in England for a copj right. The most successful publications of the day, however, Irom this point of view, are not novels, but sermons. It is said that the representatives of the late RcvF.W. Robertson, of Brighton, have received, in tho course of some years, upwards of £'30,000 for the publication fo the various volumes left at his death. AVhat agonies must that poet have endured who, writing of his love, asserted 111 his manuscript that he " kissed her under the silent stars," and found the compositor made him declare that he " kicked her under the cellar stairs." This is said to be the best pun ever made in America Horace Greeley, during the Scolfc campaign, declared that he execrated and spit upon the Whig platform. A Western New York editor remarked that if Greeley spit upon the Whig platform he couldn't cxpect-to-rate as a Whig. " ' Mrs Mullowney's Christmas Pudding ' shall go in next week," sajs an Irish editor 111 a notice to correspondents. We admire his taste. " May good digestion wait on appetite." A young domestic servant named Lynch was lately admitted into Wigan Workhouse, and, being suspected ot having given birth to a child, she has admitted the fact, and stated that she placed the child in a furnace at the woi khouse, and burnt it. It 13 said that Sir Henry Thompson made a draw in" of the face of his Imperial palieut ahoitl) after death, and that the Empress requested him lo gne it to her. Sir Heurv is almost as well known in art circles as J)r Se^v mour Hadeii. After asking your name in the State of Arkansas, the natives are in the habit of fuither niquiiing, in a coululu' tial tone, " Well, now, what was your name aforo ycr moved to these parts ?" Lntkiivikvvkd to Diunr — The reporters interviewed a Louisiana prisoner until he begged piteou=J\ to be hanged. "Tkanspohtkd" for Life.— Tho man who niarrics linppily. Dn. Biuoht's Phosi-hodym,.— Multitudes of people are hopelessly suffering from Debilih, Nervous and Liver Complaints, Depression of Spirits, Delusions, Unfltnc-s \ for Business or Study, Failure of Hearing, Sigkt, and Memory, Lassitude, Want of Power, Ac, whose cases admit of permanent cu.ie by the new remedy Phosphodvne (Oxonic Oxygen), which at once allays all irritation and excitement, imparts new energy and life to the enfeebled constitution, and rapidly cures every stage of these hitherto incurable ahd distressing maladies. Sold by all Chemists and Storekeepers througout the colonies, from whom pamphlets containing testimonials may be obtained. — Caution: Be particular to a*k for Dr. lJnght's Phosphodwic as imitations are abroad; and avoid purchasing single bottles, the genuine article being sold 111 cases onlj. — Am,