ORACLES, ET ID GENUS OMNE.

Waikato Times, Volume III, Issue 115, 30 January 1873, Page 2

ORACLES, ET ID GENUS OMNE.

What a thing it is to hare a reputation, to be looked upon, as an oracle. When the landlord of the Maypole Inn shook his head solemnly at the copper boiler, and then gazed* around, the act carried with it a word of meaning — he had a reputation. Do you understand German, sirf I hare a brother who plays the German flute, and in nine cases out o£ ten it answers just as well. ' When I was at Brazennose,' sounds well, and will generally command attention, anc| establish a vested right to bore your audience for an hour or two. You will hear some men chat for a conceivable length, of time upon every conceivable subjert, without displaying, temper, simply because they have a reputation for that sprfc of thin?. Only start one of them, and he will glide, along in the most wonderful manner ; the drama, the world of fashion, the latest thing in hats, the favorite for the, Derby, what the honorable Viv'an sold to Jack Ormsby at the Bag, and what a laugh it created, and how the little, girl " fairly brought down the house, sir," and a thousand, and one other trifles, to all of which you liste.n with the most marked attention, although you m.ay have, a lurking suspicion in your ow.n, mind ; but perish the thought, ' haf awe not seen these things with our own eyes, sir ?' An oracle of this Inn 'l, however, is generally good company, and could, doubtless, writo. a romance founded on facts, with here anc\ there an author. Perhaps the most tedious is the man who prefaces his remarks, by informing you that be ought tq know something about it, having 'lived here, sir, for, t'irso thirty years' ; this is an oracle and no mistake. • Believe mo, sir, you are quite wrong in your conclusions, you cannot convince me sir, say what you like, thq, government are nowhere, the people, sir, the people are the ruling power.' You may possibly object, but some, friend whiipers in your ear, ' he's right, he was not born yesterday.'* So you rest content, and si\ffer in, silence. It is difficult to account for this leaning to oracles, this sort of ! faith in traditional tepvjfcation ; and jet it is so. The pristension may possibly be the only qualification, and yet it if generally rsc,eive.d that some men are authorities. A lucky screw of billiards and a quiet smile will often work wonders ; be carefu.l, hqwever, not to destroy the illusion, and you, establish a reputation, and are spoken favourably of when players are mentioned. You hod a sixteenth cousin, or an. uncle, or somebody or other at Harrow, upon the strength, of which you may sneer at your own sweet will at schools of> less note ; ' why they can't hold a candle, sir,' and you are looked upon as a very old public school fellow at once. " O tenvpora, O mores" wh.at a. world, of humbug this is ; we in time deceive even ourselr.es, a,nd like Shallow, imagine that w£ were rather ' tall fellows in our time : "By the mass i was called anything, and would have done anything roundly too. There was I an^ little John Doty, of Staffordshire, and Block George Bare, and Francis P/icltbone and WiU Squele, a Cotswold man, — you had not four such swinge* bucklers in all the inns of court again." This sort of thing gics down wonderfully, although possibly, like our friend", we were a little like a "cheese paring," or a " forked radish" in appearance. Not "to be " but " seem to be" is the accepted thing, and oracles have always received attention, from the I^elphian one downwards. Like the good knight who " rode out a colonejtying," but tajk long enough and loud enough, and you will be certain to, obtain » respectable, hearing. " For he could coin or counterfeit New words with little, or no wit ; Words so debased and hard, no stone Was hard enough to touch them on ; And when with hasty noise he spoke 'en* The ignorant for current took 'em."

The conductor of an omnibus Mid to a young ladj, qn* Qf hi> ptiwnjtprt : " Miss, your fare."—" WoU, if I am," iha replied, " I don't want nny of jour impertinence." " tJ