LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS.

Waikato Times, Volume III, Issue 107, 9 January 1873, Page 2

LIFE AMONG THE MORMONS.

Mark Twain supplies the following: — "It is a luscious ountrv for thrilling evening 6tone9 about assassinations of intractable Gentiles I cannot easily concene of anything nuro cos>? than the night in the Salt Lake which we spent in a Grnt'leden, smoking pipes and 1 s en ng to tales of how Burton galloi eel m among the pleading and defenceless ' Morißites,' and shot them down, mm and women, lite so many dogs. And how Hill Hickman, a Destroying Angel, shot'DiOwn and Arnold dead for bringing a suit against Inw for a debt. . . . And the next most interesting thing is to sit and listen to these Gentiles' talk about polygamy ; and how some portly old lro,; of an elder, or a bishop marries a girl — likes her, marries her sister — likes her, marries another sister — likes her, takes another — likes her, marries her mother — likes her, marries her father, and then comes back hungry, and asks lor more. And how the pert young thing of eleven will chance to be the favorite wife, and her own venerable grandmother have to rank down toward D 4 m their mutual husband's esteem, and have to sleep in the kitchen, as like as not. . . According to these Gentile friends of ours, Brigham Young's harem contains twenty or thirty wives. They said that some of them had grown old and gone out of active service, but were comfortably housed, and cared for in henery — or the Lion House as "it is strangely named Along with each wife wero her children — fifty altogether The house was perfectly quiet and orderly, when the children were still They all took their meals in one room, and a happy md homelike si^ht ie was pronounced to be None of our party got an opportunity to take dinner with Mr Young, but a Gentle of the name of tiohns.>n i rof asfd to have enjoyed a souable breakfast in tb^ Lion House He gave a pieposterous account of the " calw inn of the roll." and other prehminaiies, and the carnage that ensued when the buckwheat cakes came in But he embellished rather too much. He said th.it Mr Young m l l him seveial smart s n ings of certain of his ' two yearoM;.' oeservircr with some piule that foi many j ears he h?(\ been the heavies'" contributor in that line to one of the p'lslr^n magazines ; and then he wanted to show Mr Jo'insou one of ttio pets that had said the last good thing, but he could not find the child, de searched the faces of the children in detail, hut could not decide which one it was Finally, he gave it up with a si^h, and said, ' I thouuht I should have known the little cub again, but T don't.' Mr Johnson s-iid further that Mr Youn^>b- . served tint life was a sad. sad thing — ' because the j^'jf every new marrii_e a man conti acted whs so apt to bablii/ht°d by the inoppoitune funeral of a less lecent bnde Q} And Mr Johnson said that while he and Mr Young were pleasantly eonvpisinL; in priva'e, one of the Mis Youngs came in and dem inded a bi east-pin, lemarkmg that she had found out that he had lieen giwng a breist-pm to No. 6, and she, for one, did not propose to lt-t thi3 pirtialitygo on without making a Pfctisfactoryamountof troublo about it. Mr Young reminded her that there was a stranger present. Mrs Young said t'>at if the state of things inside the house was not agreeable to the stranger he could find room outside. Mr Young promised the brenst-pm, and she went away. But in a minute or two another Mis Young came m and demanded a breast-pin. Mr Young begnn a remonstrance, but Mrs Young cut him short. She said No 6 had got one, and No 11 was promised ones and it was " no \ise for him to try to impose on her — she hoped she knew her rights." He gave his promise and she went. And presently three Mrs Youngs entered in a body and opened on their husband a tempest of tears, abuse, and entreaty. They had all heard about No 6, No 11, and No 14. Three moro breastpins were promised. . . ' That is a specimen,' said Mr Young ' You sco how it is. You see w hi* a life I lead. A man can't be wise all the time. In a heUlless moment I gave my darling No 6 — excuse me calling her thu^^ as her other name has escaped me for the present — a breastpin — it was only worth twenty-five dollars — that is, apparently that was its whole cost — but its ultimate cost was inevitably bound to be a good deal more. You yourself have seen it climb up to six hundred and fifty dollars — and alas, even that is not the end ! For I have wn es all over this territory of Utah, I have dozens of whose numbers I do not know without looking at the family Bible. They are scattered far and wide among the mountains and valleys of my realm. , And mark you every solitary one of thorn will hear of this/1 wretched breast-pin, amß^ery last one of them will have^^ one or die . . Shade^or*Kephi ' You don't know anything about married lifeS- I am rich and e\erybody knows it. lam benevolent Wid everybody takes advantage of it. I have a strong fatherly inst net, and all the foundlings *re foisted on me Every time a woman wants to do well by her darling, she ciphers out som» scheme forgetting it into my haud3 Why, tir, a wore an came here onca with child of t. curious l_fel3C3 cart of complexion (and. 6O hftd sb© WOjaWl)

and swore- that the child waa mine md she my wife, that I had married hor atiuoh-and-iueh * time in such-and-such a place, but the had forgotten her number, and of court© I could not remember her name. Well, »ir, she called my attention to the fact that the ohild looked hkn mo, and really it did seem <*» r«wjynMe me — a common tiling <u the Territory — and, to cut t e story short, I put it in my nursery, and she left. And, by the ghost of Oison Hyde, when they came to wash the paint off the child it was an Injun ' Bless my soul, you don't know anything about married life. It is a perfect dog's life, sir — it perfect dog's life. You can't economise It isn't possible I hare tried keeping ono set of bridal attire for all occasions. But it is of no use. . . . My friend, take an old man's advice, and don't encumber yourbolf with a large family — mind, I tell you, don't do it. In a small family, and in a small family onlj , you will find that comfort and that peace of mm I which are the best at last of the blessings this world is able to afford to us, and for the lack of ivhich no accumulation of wealth, and no acquisition of fame, power, and greatness can ever compensate us. Take my word for it, ten or eleven wives m all you need — never go over it ' Some instinct or other made me set this Johnson dovrn as unreliable. And yet he was a very outortaining por-ion, and I chubt if some of the information he gave ua could have been acquired from any other source. Ho was a pleasaut contrast to those retveent Mimnns "