BOYS.

Waikato Times, Volume I, Issue 67, 3 October 1872, Page 3

BOYS.

(MIJKH,U> kkvikyv.) Mout people are much frightened of boys, and assume that t.hev arc very dangerous animals. It is alleged that I lie'dreadful creatures delight in making a series of uncurthly and complicated sounds and in commit - in" unprovoked assaults. It is also urged that the menageries which they mostly inhabit during the daytime, and in which they are initiated into the mysteries <»f the rule of three and such-like puzzles, are places to be religiously avoided. .Stray animals are constantly prowling about the prccincts of these prisons seeking whom they may attack, and at certain times the vvho'c horde arc lc:. 1 >u«e to ia angcth neighbourhood. Single travellers have a small chance against them, and, as a rule, make no attempt, at offensive tactics. They are content, to hurry on quietly, with a host of extremely questionable compliments ringing in their ears, and, in a few exceptional cases, sonic miscellaneous missiles following closely m their wake, while the tormvntors remain behind executing fnmli'c dunces of triumph, and indulging in victorious howls. Like all animals which subsist on |]chliy food, boys are fond of lighting ; and when unable to grapple witli any one else, will do battle amongst themselves. They are not nearly ho fond, however, of lighting, as of witnessing others do so. They take infinite (blight m arranging pugilistic encounters (for their iriends,) and this is a pastime at which they are very proficient, which is only natural, considering the amount of practice which they give tl cm-elves. They also deem it their privilege to destroy property—from street, lamps and railings to the clothes they wear--in an open and barcfaced manner. Nothing pleases them so much as to see a grand smash of anythin . They are generally provided with knives by thenkeepers, by means'of which their powers of destruction are greatly increased. Perhaps thev cut their lingers as frequently as they cut anything else, lliey are" also furnished with a certain amount of pocketmoney, with which they purchase sweets, gingerbread and catapult,as, and are enabled by tl.e la-t mentioned to aim at numerous small birds, which they rarely hit. They manage, however, to do irreparable damage 1o large numbers of glass windows, at which they an immensely gratified. It is said that they can, to f certain extent at any rate, be tamed, and it is furthei allccd that the most, potential method to adopt 11 dealing with them is a liberal application ol a birch rod or some such weapon. Like all wild annuals, ujkh their feelings being appealed to in a forcible manner thev are apt to raise a great hullabaloo. Insteac of "liekiii" the afflicted parts, however, they in variably rub, shake, or vigorously blow upon then • the ' process being varied according to tlu portion of the corpus operated upon. Tlicy an occasionally induced to yell defiance, but, as a rule they deem it expedient to say nothing to those win ho wantonly at,tack them. They ever after honoui the man who treats them to a good thrashing. 1« see them at their tamest is to see them inside tlu menageries above alluded to. As a rule they an quiet'enough, and humble enough there. Somchov or other, I,hough, they are constantly coming to log gerhcads with' their keeper. The solution of tin problem lies iti the fact that tliey do not like work and scheme bv every possible means to do a muumun thereof. Naturally", they are found out, and made t<

take the consequences. Thev never get over t leir hatred of Tiindly Murray, Cocker, and the various masters of the arts and sciences through which they are dragged. There are, in connection with many of these menageries, grand show days, when all the boys attend in best, clothes, clean white collars, and have their neckties tied quite straight. They are made to sit altogether, and are confronted by the spectators. They look very frightened and tame —-quite unlike the' savage things they appear in their natural element, Some pompous gentleman, ■who has been invited by the keeper, then gets up and talks to t hem. They would go to sleep only they are ai'raid. When the pompous gentleman (hushes, some of the tamest of the collect ion are made to recite pieces, which they do as if they did not like doiu" it , and without, once looking at the audience. They" very often forget their parts, and get a cross look from the keeper, which makes them still more forget ful. After they have concluded their entertainment, and are comfortably on their seals again, the pompous gentleman gets up once more and says lie is surprised to find that they are such good bovs, and hopes that they will always be a credit to'themselves and their keeper, who is so very kind to them. Then one or two more pompous gentlemen got, up and say the same thing. The animals gaze at their mentors with astonishment, and their looks <. f incredulity evidence that they do not belie\c a word about their being such patterns. After the speaking is concluded, the l)o\s aic taken away to another° part of the menagerie, where they are provided with cake, buns, oranges, apples, pears, dried fruits, and sundry non-intoxicating beverages. The gluttonous propensities of a number are made painfully apparent, and the proceedings terminate by their keeper bidding them farewell in such an affectionate manner as leads them to doubt the evidence of their senses. They try m vain to realize how it is that the grim tyrant who has been the terror and bugbear of their lives tor to many weary months, has suddenly become transformed into* a gentle and fatherly friend. Boys profess to have a great contempt for girls and girls' games. Nevertheless, it is a fact of which the student of natural history must take notice, that they are extremely frightened of girls, and, in conjunction with this, must be taken the fact that girls are not much, if at, all, afraid of them. The b >vs never look such abject, things as they do when bes'de girls. It is then positively melancholy to regard them. They have not a single word to say, and inv ever shyly looking round'for opportunities to "bolt," Their keepers have been known in a spirit of refined cruelty, to make a boy and girl link arms, and in that manner walk through a public street, The misery of the poor boy it, is impossible to describe. The girl, of course, was contented enough, and disposed to grumble because the boy was not more sociable. Boys are almost, but not quite as much, frightened, of women. But they like men, and are never tired of conversing with them. ■