GEORGE THE FOURTH, No. IX

Waikato Times, Volume I, Issue 60, 17 September 1872, Page 3

GEORGE THE FOURTH, No. IX

A Militakv Sketch viiox Life.-—JJ* Captain MOUI.V Ht/MI'HUKVH. f(From the Australasian'.) Mr Bartitis, ah tin George IV., was butler to the OrceiiboyH moan, hihl owed hb wubr'ujui J, to the extraordinary likenc'-H which existed between himself and Hie portraits of tlmt august monarch. I can't say to ■whon Mr Wai tans attributed the honour of his paternity, but 1 have a strong BUi,)icion llriV. the ''first gentleman i'i Kurope" had h.kon an interest of some bort in tin: JJartoni family. 1 don't mean to say that our George talked familiarly about the other George, but there was u sort of mystery appertaining t<> the likeness, and of courwj we made the mo.it of it, for mvMcries wen; scarce in South Africa.

Mr IJartouu d d < ot often g> out for " a conV.itutimal," but when he did, he was a magnificent picture to behold. In the first place, His Majesty was the possessor of the only black hat {ijomiH belltoppor) in th(! garrison, and this he wore \nry much on the back of bin head, with an air that .seemed to way, "Thin is n rare and valuable property, which mustn't be worn too much at a time." Underneath the hat van a quantity of very black and very shiny hair—Home fellows mid wig, but then some fellows will way anything. Crowned by the hat and hair came King George's head, and jolly, clean ahaven face, King George's black satin stock, King George's coffee-coloured greatcoat, and the Georgian paunch and pompous swagger. Following His Majesty used to waddle a plethoric spaniel, who looked as if he, too, had been a butlor in some former state of existence ; and upon the regal shoulder was "sloped" a green silk umbrella with an ivory handle. Wet or dry, hot or cold, hail, mizzle, or sirocco, when the king was abroad the umbrella went out too; but no inorlal eye had ever seen the />ara/ttuic, expanded, for His Majesty was n soldier, and a soldier, you know, doesn't march with nil open umbrella. At mess, when arrayed in official costume, in his "customary Hiiits of solemn black," the king was more magnificent than ever. Ilis white choker! How am 1 to describe that? If I wen- to say the throat gear of His Maicsly was apt to raise irreverent thoughts not wholly unconnected with Christy minstrels, I should slightly

- only slightly—exaggerate; and if I were to liken the tie of his neckcloth to that affected by very "low Church" parsons, I should describe below the mark. One word of digression, dear reader, if you please. 1 want to ask you a question on the subject ol ties. J lave you never remarked that the tie of a parson's cnivnl, nml the cut of his waistcoat, proclaim in a general way the tenets of the wearer? I have; and the conclusion to which T have come is, that where there is the least orthodoxy there is the largest amount of tie, and the greatest expanse of h gh-biitloucd-up, shirt-front-hiding, "holy waistcoat."

Mr Bartons was orthodox. He believed in eve tthing that butlers liave believed in since time immemorial; ,'iiul bo topped up the whole belief by wea ing u Muck .satin waistcoat;—a "vest" very open in fr >nt, revealing a vat area of well-starched s'lirt. across which gracefully meandered t •(• watered silk wate i riblion of well discerned respcilability. It takes a Hiiperior and plucky landsman to carry oil" a black sal in waistcoat successfully. Sea. captains are born 1o them, bul few tmore-going men can wear tbis style of garment without looking foolish. Bartons was a Huperior man. lie openly sported his satin, and looked---well, be looked like George tbc Fourth!

It win delightful to see King George patronising the "big-wigs," and teaching them how to drink scientifically. " Excuse me, colonel; that's by no inc;iiH a bad glass of wine, but if you will allow me lo remove it, I think L can replace it with something fin , more worthy of your approv:iV That was the llcorgian style ; or else it woidd be, "Sir James (Sir ,1 Mines de Boots we called him, Inartiuet buster-in-chief!), let me recommend a glass of tbis port wine with y nir cheese ; it's a particular wine, and I think it will meet with your approbation." The monarch was great on wine, and used to treat the opinions of those who were supposed to he his masters with the HUpremest contempt. There was a story in the regiment touching upon this which mint not be left untold. Once upon a time we bad a mess-president who was H regular old woman, and, like other old women, he was fond of " picking up a bargain." One day, just after " stables," this old party shuttled into the anteroom of the mess-house, (lopping into the armchair, rang the hell (wild condescension on his part, as that is the junior cornet's duty), and said to the mess-waiter who responded, "Tell Mr. Bartons I want him." Mr. .Bartons came, calm, self-possessed, looking superior to everybody and everything. "Oh, Bartons," said Captain Crupper, "did my servant bring vou a bottle of wine this morning? " "Yes, nir," said the king. "Then bring it in, if you please ; I uhould like to have an opinion upon it. for I know where a lot of it is to be got cheap, and I think it wouldn't be a bad idea if we bought it up for the mess. The wine was brought in, also a lot. of clean glasses. Well, tbc wine was poured out (it. was sherry), sipped by everybody, and commented upon. '"Sweet, rather, I think," sa ; d one. "Hardly drv enough," said another. "Dam fiery," blurUd young CSreenhorn, after a quick drink anl along wink at his glass. " Well, my opinion is, gentlemen," Hiiid Crupper, " that this is a deuced fair mess wine. Take a glass Bartons, and give us your opinion. , ' King George always filled a glass, held it up t) the light, winked at it, smelt it, held it at arm's 1 math, winked at it again, roved his nose all round the brin of the glass, and finally, tasted the liquor. "We'l, gentlemen," said the potentate at last, "this is not altogether a bad wire. Tt would do very well for a ' scratch ' mess, or even for a second battalion mess, but. as a regimental mess wine I really couldn't recommend it." The rest of this story is silence.

Of course, wo had a mess president, according io regulation, but in the Geeonboys that office was a sinecure, for beyond signing his name to mess bills and such like documents once a month, the captain in eh. rj;e of the household-department had nothing to do but give himself airs, and order his own favorite di*h for dinner. George IV. did all the rest—wrote all the letters, kept all the accounts, paid all the bills, priced all the Mines, gave his opinion upon them all, and extended to all of us a kindly regal patronage. Bartons was no toady, but be kii3W exactly what amount of " proper respect" was due to the oeeupaufc of each rung on the military ladder, and just that amount he paid to A B and C accordingly.

I have svid that George IV. was a soldier. I will now go further, ai\d tell you that his Bacchic Majesty was also a sergeant ; but a sergeant, mind you, who domineered over generals, that is to say, hungry and thirsty generals. To geueval and field-otßeers " high up " Mr. Bartons ■was courtly in demeanour, with captains he was respect fully familiar, and hi his treatment of subalterns blandly paternal. A captain might " go to the devil," if he chose, but a junior cornet mightn't; for Xing Bartons knew the length of every youngster's purse, and often grew conveniently deaf to cries of " Bartons, inore champagne!" A Imtler like this is a treasure —" the sort of thing you read about, but verv seldom see:" consequently, our mess gave itself airs on the strength of its butler, but Georgius never grew proud, for he feuew what he was worth, and bore his popularity right royally. Of course, King George had his enemies—all great men have—and suspicious people, who did not " belong to the mess," would sometimes wonder how it was that a meas butler should have acquired lauded

property an 1 a cheque book ; but these surmises were evidently prompted by envy, unci given utterance to by cupping grumbler.-* whose messed were more tmaitisfaetory than ours—nattier, and less cheap. If George the Fourth of England was the " first gentleman m Europe," King George of the Green boys was the finest in 13utlerdom — yes, much the finest; and many a regiment burning to add to its reputation for " erackncss,' would have bought and bribed him out of the " service," if His Majesty had not had tlie life's blood in him pumped by a kingly heart. "No, said Georgius, when tempted by brilliant offers, " I m a Greeiib'jy. 1 made the Greenboys wliat tiiey are, and I'll stand by them!" An historian, when bringing his notice of a reign to an end, usually concludes with a catalogue ol the monarchial virtues, lam an historian in my >\ay, and w:ll follow in the tru::k ol my brethren. King George the Fourth, No. 11., was a monarch who reigned with discretion. He knew how lar lie could go, and didn't try to go any farther. With with regard to the private and semi-official life of this great man, nothing unfavourable can be said, lor lie knew to a nicety how far a. gentleman officer could " outrun the constable," also, how lar he couldn t; and he acted accordingly. His Majesty was the kindest and most pompous of men, and many alellow has had to thank him for the neat fiscal diplomacy by which he has been saved from Her: _>us " grief ' in a mcss-bili difficulty. In the archive compartment of my memory [ find the following anecdote. 111 tell it, and end my chapter. " How is this, Mr. Guinea? " observed the colonel, looking straight at the paymaster with his severest horscs-shoes-and-mutiny-act air on. '• llow is this, sir ? I find Mr. Norhiuo's mess-end wine bill hasu I been paid." Now this was at a quarterly mess meeting, when all accounts were supposed to be " squared up to date. No one has yet succeeded in " squaring the circle,' and people; do not marvel thereat; then why should colonels make a fuss because a fellow who has lost all his quarterly " home allowance" at the races, or" unlimited loo," cannot solve the more difficult problem of "squaring" a mess bill at first sight? I cant say why colonels make a fuss about these things, but they do ; and there would have been a row attached to fhe parlicu'ar mess meeting 1 speak of, if the benevolent JJartons had not come to the rescue.