CHURCH NEWS.

Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1226, 6 November 1874, Page 4

CHURCH NEWS.

The American papers are imitating the peculiar style of the Danbury Newsman. The following is from the New York Tribune : —Old Mr Callainore, who goes to church is very deaf, Last Sunday, in the midst of the service, Mr 11 off, why sits immediately behind Mr Callamorc", saw a spider walking up the hitter's bald head. His first impulse was to nudge him and tell him about it, but he remembered that he was deaf, so he lifted his hand to brush it off. Hoff didn't aim quite high enough, and consequently, ia his nervousness, he hit Callainore a rather severe blow. The old man turned round in a rage, to see who had dared to take such a liberty with

him, and Hoff began to explain with gestures the cause of the occurrence. But Callamore, in a loud voice demanded what he meant. It was painful for Hoff. The eyes of the whole congregation were upon hiin, and he grew red in the face, and in desperation exclaimed —" there was a spider on your head." A white place on my head, eh ? S'pose'n there is, what's to you," said Callamore, " you'll know what it is to be bald-headed yourself some day." " It was a spider," shrieked Hoff, while the congregation smiled, and the perspiration began to roll down his cheeks. " Certainly its wider," said Callamore, " and it's got more in it than yours. But you let it alone, do you mind ! You let my head alone in church." " Mr Callamore," shrieked II off, " there, was a bug on your head, and I brushed it off this way," and Hoff, made another gesture at Callamore's head. The old man thought he was going to fight him then and there, and hurling his hymnbook at Hoff, he seized the kneeling stool on the floor of the pew and was about to bang Hoff, when the sexton interfered, An explanation was written on the flyleaf of the hymn-book whereupon Mr Callamore apologised in a boisterous voice, and resumed his seat. Then the service proceeded. They think of asking Mr Callamore to worship elsewhere."