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EXTRACTS.

A VAENISHED TAIE. The Danbury News has the following:—All the pews in our chapel wore painted and varnished during the past month, and while fixing l)r Clamm's pew the workmen accidentally left a large splotch of varnish on the back of it. Last Sunday, Dr Chimin's son, Johnny, had had his hair pulled once or twice during the service by Bullet's boy in the pew in the rear. After a while young Mr Clamm became quiet, and placed bis head against this one mass of uudried varnish. Presently he attempted to move, hut the varnish had got among his hair, and it held him tight. After making one or two desperate but ineffectual efforts to release himself, he became very angry, and supposing Bullet's boy was holding him ho said, in a loud whisper, " Let go o' my hair ! Let go o' my hair 1 tell you ! " The minister paused just as he had entered upon the consideration of " thirdly," and the congregation looked round in amazement, just i:i time to sic young Clamm, with his head in statu quo, aiming dreadful blows with his fist at some unknown person behind him. And every time he struck out in this manner he vociferated,. " I'll punch thehead on ycr after church ! I'll go for you, Bill Bullet, when 1 ketch you alone ! Let go o' my hair, I tell you, OT I'll smash your nose ! " &c. The deacon, who came running up, thought the boy had the nightmare and was talking in his sleep, and old JMrs Jones, in the pew in front, screamed for the doctor, under the impression that Clamm junior was involved in a series of frightful convulsions, while Bullet's boy sat

up nt the end of bis pew looking as solemn as if the sermon bad made a deep impression on him. Finally the nexlon took out his jack-knife, and sawed off enough of Mr Clamm's hair to release him, and dragged him out into the vestibule, while the victim kept glancing around at Bullet's boy and shaking his fist at that urchin as if to indicate that he cherished deadly designs upon young Bullet. The contest, bowevor, has been averted by an explanation, and we were glad to see, on Thursday, young Ciamm playing bopscotch with Bullet's boy, in apparent forgotfulness of recent sorrows. OVER THE LEFT. A plea has often been made of late in favor of that generally suppressed member the left hand. This advocacy has generally been based upon merely physical grounds, and it has been, at most, sought to show that man would be more capable of manual action supposing he had two trained hands instead of one. Dr Brown .Sequard, however, lecturing before the Lower Institute, Boston, advances that the present practice tends to keep men one sided in their brains as well as their bodies. There is no question, says the lecturer, but that it is our habit of making use of only one side of the body that consigns to one half of the brain —the right side—the faculty of expressing ideas by speech, If we developed both sides of our body equally, not only would there be the benclit that we could write or work as well with the right, but we should have two brains instead of one, and would not be deprived of speech through disease in one side of the brain. " ALL RIGIITEE." The Valley Independent tolls the following good story : —A laughable incident occured one evening, recently, on the uptrain to Sacramento. There were two scats in the car turned, so as to face each other. One was occupied by a lady and the other by a Chinaman. Evidently the lady did not reJish the presence of the Chinaman, and set her wits to work to oust him out. She succeeded about as follows :—Motioning the Chinaman to rise, she explained to him that she wanted to take the cushions and their frames, and place them lengthwise across from seat to seat. John said ' All rightee,' and got in the aisle while she placed the seats as above described, and then proceeded to lie down on the bed thus improvised. with her head resting on her valise, She supposed that the Chinaman would at once take the hint that the lady wanted to take some rest, in the space usually occupied by four persons. But John hadn't beard of the woman's rights movements, and at onco proceeded to crawl in and stretch himself by her side, with his head on a little bundle of Ins own. The Chinese are an imitative race, and like to do as others do, you know, The lady, as soon as she discovered that she had a bedfellow, got up, a little wildly, and started for the next car, to the iutiuite amusement of the passengers, who had been watching the little scene with some interest. John toolc no notice of the fun he had created, but went to sleep with the whole bed to himself." do>"'t interrupt. Few people realise the full evil of an interruption. Few people know all that is implied by it. Florence Nightingale says :•—" It' we consider that, with sick as with well, every thought decomposes some nervous matter, that to obtrude another thought upon the brain whilst it is in the act of destroying nervous matter by thinking is calling upon it to make a new exertion, we shall remember that we are doing positive injury by interrupting. ]f the invalid is forced by bis avocations to continue occupations requiring much thinking, the injury is doubty great. If you olfer it (die- brain) a thought, especially one requiring a decision, abruptly, you do it a real, not fanciful injury. This rule applies to the well as quite as much as to the sick. I have never known persons who exposed themselves for years to constant interruption who did not muddle away their intellects by it at last. The process, with them, may be accomplished without pain. Willi the sick, pain gives warning of the injury." ANOTHER HERO. "Ton had belter take caro of that young one." This was the modest remark of engineer Jack Evans, of the Chicago, Burlington, and Quincy Bailway, as he handed the child back to its mother, and mounted his engine to move ahead. Our leaders must not forget the circumstance. Jack saw the child toddling along on the track just ahead of his train, and comprehended instantly that it was too late to stop the engine befere he reached it. So ho did as manly and as brave an act as ever was performed by an hero. He reversed his engine, ran out on the guard as nimbly as a cat, am', when close to the child, jumped, caught it in his arms, and threw himself sideways from the track. .The pilot struck him aud whirled him twelve or fifteen feet down the hank, bruising him considerably ; but he saved tho baby's life, and handed it hack to its mother with the remark at the head of this article. It is strange < f what stuff heroes are made, aftor all.

By late advices we learn that the Government of Western Australia hftd received a report from Mr JVL'Lean, the leader of No. L prospecting party, notifying that he had removed to Victoria Plains, where, in the first hole sunk souio flakey gold was found. 110

reports that the country pleased hiin ] much, as it looked like the Otago goldfieldg. The obituary columns of a daily paper is not the place to look for a conundrum. Hero however, is one—an excerpt from that portion of a Sydney journal:— "At his residence, Wooloomooloo, Mr , leaving a wife, and seven children, and an affectionate daughter to mourn their loss." How many children had he, and how many of them hoys ? The Modern Crews Aider.] — Mr Plimsoll. lieeollect that connubial bliss is like raspberry jam, it will keep a long time if properly preserved. A. young lady was asked by a rich old bachelor, "If not yourself, who would you rather be?" She blushed as she sweetly replied, "Yours truly." When a man has tried everything and found it will not answer, let him go where there is an echo aud try that.

" I have a frosh cold," said a gentleman to his acquaintance.—" Why do you have a fresh one? Why don't you have it cured ?" A very touchy husband told his wife they could not a.Eree, and must divide the house. "Very well,', said she, "you can take the outside." Fire Extinguishers. Coal monopolists. Not a case of necessity—A cigar case.

Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WEST18740901.2.27

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1207, 1 September 1874, Page 4

Word count
Tapeke kupu
1,442

EXTRACTS. Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1207, 1 September 1874, Page 4

EXTRACTS. Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1207, 1 September 1874, Page 4

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