DESPERATE DEEDS OF COMPOSITION.
[fko.m judy.l I should like it to be distinctly understood, before going any further into this matter, that my name is Algernon Percival Higgins. Presently, perhaps, you may get a little confused, it is, therefore, as well to start fair. That's my name, and I am perfectly satisfied with it, if I may be allowed to enjoy it intact. 1 live at Slocurn Podger, and have done a great deal for the place. Among other things, I have been chiefly instrumental in starting the local journal. The local journal does not absolutely pay expenses at the present moment, and we have to economise as much as possible. The editor sets up his own articles, and the sub takes down the shutters., and takes the copies round to the subscribers, and also sweeps out the shop when not otherwise occupied. Persons in the town wishing to say anything about their goods, send what they would like, put in their own words, and we have also an occasional reporter for gigantic gooseberries, and other exciting events. It was this man who did me the first injury. There bad been an important public meeting with reference to the renovation of the parish pump, at which I spoke at some length, and the circumstance was reported : "And a Mr Iliggins seconded the motion." I am not easily annoyed, but I felt that "A" very deeply, and went down to the editor and give him a bit of my mind. lie was in his shirtsleeves, setting up the " Poet's Corner," when I called, and he said he was very sorry but it was a blunder of the sub's, and showed me the rough proof, which ran thus:—■ 'fAnd Mr. a. Higgins seconded the motion." " It is only the 'A' that has got transposed," said he. " However, l'il put the lino in next week, and explain." There was an unsteadiness about the editor's gait, and a huskiness about his tones, which compelled me to conclude that he had been taking something rather strong. An all-pervading odour of rum heightened this impression. INext week this explanation appeared : —"ln our last number, by an error of the press, we spoke of our valued townsman as a Mr Higgins. Wo need not inform our readers which Mr Higgins we meant: there is only one llig in Slocura Podger." I went down to the office boiling over, and found the sub in charge, cleaning the windows. Ho said Ke was very sorry, indeed, but the "gins" bad accidentally fallen out. lie added that the affair should be made straight next week. Next week I opened the paper eagerly, and read thus:—" A scries of most unfortunate typographical errors has occasioned much pain and annoyance to a valued townsman, Mr 11. Piggins. We are extremely sorry ' that they should
have occurred, but trust that he will overlook our misdeeds in his well known generous sty I very naturally foamed at the mouth on reading this, and took a thick stick with me to the office. The sub was there, polishing the door-plate. He ■said it was only the " II" had got before the " P," and that there ought to have been an " le," at the end of " sty," and then it would have been all right. I asked him how he would like to be called a Piggins in a sty, and he said ho would speak to the editor when he came in, but that he was round the corner at that minute having a glass of something with an advertiser. Next week this appeared:—" Erratum —ln last number, at bottom of the third column, page 2, for Pig read Hog. AVe again express our regrets to Mr gins, but it would seem that what cannot be cured must be endured, I went down to office, gnashing my teeth, and tore my hair out, a lot at a time, all over the cases. The editorhas gone out to get change of a shilling, but I waited fcr him, and took him by the throat when he came in. He said, as soon as he could speak, " I think the very deuce has got into the machinery; but here you are! Say any mortal thing you like, and set it up yourself. Will that please you? I am not accustomed to set up type and my eyesight is not as good as it used to be. Besides, I was much agitated, and shook a good deal, The result was as follows : yEm Ot EzigoLj njjmuhNw monregL lavicreP snggggiH eht ylsorg IgNojtynt sekatims eweVAH EdaM. I only learnt afterwards that I ought to have spelt the words backwards. The editor, however said he thought I particularly wanted it done the other way, and so he did not interfere. Some of the subscribers thought it was a foreign language, and some that it was an advertisement of a Christmas Annual, but the gross insults I had suffered were never apologised for in a more intelligible manner, and I am called Piggins in a sty to this hour. I supposed I can obtain no legal redress.
Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WEST18740501.2.19
Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka
Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1172, 1 May 1874, Page 3
Word count
Tapeke kupu
856DESPERATE DEEDS OF COMPOSITION. Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1172, 1 May 1874, Page 3
Using this item
Te whakamahi i tēnei tūemi
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.