EXTRACTS.

Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1165, 7 April 1874, Page 4

EXTRACTS.

The Inverness Courier claims tho parentage of the following rasper : "Once a Kirk minister told his congregation not to tell anyone he was a liar, even if he doubted him, but to make a big whistle. It happened one day that he was preaching to his congregation on the miracles performed by onr Lord, when he fed tho multitude with a few loaves and fishes, remarking that these loaves were none of the ordinary size but that these loaves were as large as mountains. Whereupon a man in the lower part of the Kirk made a great whistle. The minister, not forgetting his injunction, asked—" Wha's thatcaes me a leer ?', " "lis I, Willy M'Donnell, the baker, for I wish to know what sort of ovens they were baked in." Tact. The possession of this characteristic cannot bo too highly valued. Without the appearance of interference, much can bo done by the tactician's seasonable words. " How much are these tearful bulbs by the quart ?" aslced a maiden of a grocer one rnorniug. He stared at her a moment, recovered himself, and said, " Oh, them inyuns ; fourpeuce." The Hake's Progress—From tobacco to Bacchus. A lawyer poet sends the following : " Pee simple, and a simple fee, And all the fees entail, Are nothing when compared to thee, Thou best of fees— Pemale."