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MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

What mental quility does a dress re semble ?—Address.

What is invariably the beginning of love ?—The letter " 1."

Why is a recruiting sergeant like the wind?— Because he blows where he listeth.

Osculatory Affinity.—Those who have tried it say that kissing is like a sewingm Ciine because it seams good. " Tommy, my son, what are you doing t\cre with your feet dangling in the water ?" " Trying to catch cold, ma, so that I may have some of those cough lozen?es you gave me yesterday " A local poet thus criticises some church-going people : " Attend your church," the parson Cries ; To church each fair one goes; The old go there to close their eyes, The young to eye their clothes." The Lancet says that an Incremation Club has been established, which already numbers 400 members, each of whom has made a will directing the body to be burned. The ' Lancet' decidedly approves of the system on the score of health, but thinks that the great objection would be the high price of fuels ince so large a quantity would be required to satisfactorily consume a human body. Dead Beats.—Extinct drummers—and others. [For remainder of news see 4>th page.]

Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/WEST18740203.2.21

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1147, 3 February 1874, Page 3

Word count
Tapeke kupu
199

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1147, 3 February 1874, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. Westport Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1147, 3 February 1874, Page 3

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