TRIADS.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1092, 25 July 1873, Page 3

TRIADS.

[punch.]

There are three things which every wise mau detests new boots, an argument, and a barrel-organ. All women like, fashion; petits sdins, and a bit of scandal. These are three things which nobody can do without—money, buttons, and the baker. We all like a compliment oui- own way, and a bow from a lord. The three most desirable things to possess are a sound digestion, a balance at the baker's, and tact. AH Ministers, Whig, Radical, or Conservative, like a majority, a Surplus, arid "No House." The three best letters in the alphabet are L S D ; the three worst, lOU. Happy the man who can count on having, every day of his life, a mealy potato, some loose silver, and a hearty laugh. Avoid three things wet feet, a bore, and a lawsuit. The Three per cents., three courses, and a good three-volume novel all contribute to human happiness. The Greeks had their trilogies, the Eomans their triumvirs, and we have our threepenny pieces. There are three things that will always be—jobs, snobs, and smokey chimneys. Beware of three in the morning, three months' bills, and three golden balls. There are things which everybody is ready to give—their advice, their arm, and their blessing. Collect information, collect anything which in a few years will fetch three times as much as you give for it, and collect yourself. Life would be tolerable were it not for three things getting up in the morning, carving, and going to the dentist. Three things happen to everybody sooner or later—to lose their train, their temper, and their umbrella. The three greatest discoveries of the age are Bezique, Croquet, and the Sewing machine. If you wish for happiness, do not eat suppers, do not publish emendntions of Shakespeare, and do not, take shares. We are all glad of a holiday, an unexpected legacy, and a barrel of oysters. We all dread wet Suudays, stiff people, and a " regular good cleaning."