MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Westport Times, Volume VII, Issue 1084, 27 June 1873, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

The latest verdict recorded in America was upon a gentleman who expired in a fit of inebriation. The jury returned, " Death by hanging—round a rum shop." This was savage, and devoid of regard for the gentleman's family. In a similar case in California, the verdict was more gracefully and considerately put: — "Accidental death while unpacking glass."' Matrimony.—A committee of two with power to add to their number. Should the above find acceptance, will you kindly communicate, dear Madam. with yours respectable servant. —Judy, Such is Life!—Brown —' How's your wife, Jones?' Jones (with the wine-glass) ' Poorly always is poorly. She's afraid she's going to die, and I'm afraid she isn't; so I've got a doosid pleasant time of it, altogether.' The constancy of love is beautifully illustrated in the case of an aged couple in Winsconsin, who have been engaged to be married thirty years, and during that time have never been out of gaol long enough to have the ceremony performed. A lady arid gentleman Were conversing on the science of grammar. " Pray, madam," said the gentleman, " what part of speech is a kiss ?" "Ay what is it?" replied the lady. " A substantive, I believe, madam." " Is it a noun proper or common ?" interrogated the lady. " Both proper and common" was the reply.